Italian wife

BUSTERHYMAN

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I really do not understand my old lady as i was sat on the edge of the bed last night cutting my toe nails when the wife started moaning.

"Do you have to do that?" she snapped.

I said "You don't normally moan about it."

"Yes that's true"she replied.

"But I'm not normally going down on you at the time!"
 

BUSTERHYMAN

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My old lady has just started a new fad diet, and told me this morning she has got to consume lots of chestnuts for optimum health.
It clearly doesn't work as she's now in hospital with severe bruising to her breasts.
 

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My old lady was on the phone to her friend and snarled, "That was Angela, she's on L P S G one of those fuck buddy sites and says you're on it?"

"That's funny." I replied, "I used a fake name, she must have recognised my cock."
 

BUSTERHYMAN

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I had sex with my old lady last week in 1min 43 secs.

She said it was absolutely pathetic.

I told her to give me a chance and I'll do better next time.

I fucked her last night in 1min 12 secs.

Check me out! Beat it by 31 secs.
 

BUSTERHYMAN

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After listening to my bitch Italian wife screaming through her list of everything that's wrong with me,"crap husband,terrible father,don't earn enough money,drink too much",etc.etc.I let her run out of steam and said "you forgot one thing."
"What's that?"she wearilly asked.
"I've got shit taste in women!"
 

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After examining my wife, the doctor pulled me aside and said,"I really don't like the way your wife looks."



I said "Me neither! But she's a good cook and gives great head."
 

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My old lady is threateing to leave me because I came home with a strong scent of cunt on my breath.

Lesson learnt. Keep your mouth shut when working as a gynaecologist.





188
 

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The wife said to me, "I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you, I bend over backwards to make you happy".

I said, "Try bending over forwards for a fucking change".
 

BUSTERHYMAN

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I was getting a blow job on a roller coaster the other day from my old lady when I accidentely came in her face

She wasn't happy

But it's not my fault

What goes around comes around