it's because of your penis size!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by dolfette, Sep 11, 2009.

  1. dolfette

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    i just thought i'd clear that up.
    save some of you guys the effort of making that new thread.

    your issues with the inlaws?
    yup, it's because they know how big your penis is!

    sibling rivalry?
    they're thinking about your penis!

    that promotion you got passed over for?
    yes, the boss is jealous of your penis!

    your doctor?
    totally hot for your penis!

    the woman who said ''good morning'' in the street?
    penis size!

    the old lady he messed up your change in the post office?
    penis.

    that time you sat in gum?
    it was definitely because of your penis size!

    i hope i've cleared that up for you :smile:

    dolfette - thinking about the size of your penis
     
  2. Rugbypup

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    ...you see, now I just feel paranoid.
     
  3. dolfette

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    that's due to your penis.
     
  4. Rugbypup

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    How... why... does it have so much power?!
     
  5. dolfette

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    because it's your penis.
    every person you meet today will be thinking about it.
    it's girlnip and guynip.
     
  6. Rugbypup

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    THAT'S IT!

    I'm not coming out from under my bed today, lol.
     
  7. dolfette

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    we'll still know it's there.
    and everyone will think you're hiding a beast!
     
  8. Rugbypup

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    ...and it's just not even that big! How a hung man must cope on a day to day basis, I have no idea.
     
  9. DiscoBoy

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    I thought it was because of my height? :confused:
     
  10. Bob Ross

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    Wait...It was even the cause that that woman gave me the dirty look at the bus stop this morning? And why my neighbors cat crapped on my porch just before dinner?

    Fuck, I knew it! ALL of my problems are because of my dick. Where's my loping shears, i'm gonna rectify this problem right now. If any man here has any balls he'll follow my lead. Actually, I guess balls is all he'll have then...
     
  11. dolfette

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    hell, imagine what it's like to be tiny!
    penis height.
    yup, that was all penis induced.
    but if you cut off your penis we'll cry :frown1:
     
  12. Bob Ross

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    I assure you no one will scream and blubber more than I...But I guess since I will never have any more problems in my life I'll just get really drunk as a form of anesthesia and go for it! And thanks for what I took as an implied compliment (could be wrong)....Wait! that was because of my penis wasn't it **SNIP** FUCK! Too late!! Ow, does anyone have a bandaid?
     
  13. dolfette

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    did someone say something?
     
  14. Bob Ross

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    Its because I don't have a penis, isn't it!? I guess there's just no way to escape this all encompassing paradox
     
  15. hungphat

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    Great!! I thought it was because I was an asshole. lol
     
  16. wallyj84

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    Ah, but you see, you're an asshole because of your large penis.
     
  17. dolfette

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    you're an arsehole because of your large penis.
    and you're an arsehole because of your small penis.

    and i'm an arsehole because i have no penis :frown1:
     
  18. dirk2d

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    When I walk into a bar, people are excited. Why? Because my penis is awesome. Quite simply, it is stunning. I am a man of impeccable taste, unprecedented fashion, and sophisticated wit but that is far overshadowed by my mighty penis.

    Now I know what all you fellow LPSG'ers may be thinking. Dirk2d, it must be a great feeling to walk into a room and get eye fucked (HARD!) by every single girl there, as well as half the guys for the matter. And to answer your question, yes it rocks!

    But sometimes at night when im laying in bed with a 10/10 under my arm, Barry White softly playing in the background, a 9/10 making me a sandwich, and the 8/10 washing my car, I sometimes think to myself, all this attention is great, but do these broads cleaning my house while I regain my strength from the freaky orgy that has just occurred like me for me and my views on current world politics, my boyish charm and unrivalled break dance skills? Or do they only want me for my perfectly sculpted, Michaelangelo's David of a penis?

    Does anyone have any idea what it feels like to be sitting in a restaurant and having strange women pointing at you while asking the waiter "Is that English sausage on the menu?"

    Now I am a humble man, but do you think any women will ever be able to see past the unbridled physical beauty and awesomeness that is my penis for the real me? :frown1: sigh..








    (Oh, and to the thread/post Nazis doing the rounds and jumping down everyone's throats lately, not one part of this post is serious so put away your stakes and work on that sense of humour :cool:)
     
  19. dolfette

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    i feel your pain, dirk, for i have massive titties...

    ps. omg! i love you! omg! i want your babies!!
     
  20. YoungHungMachine

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