It's been almost a decade...

PotPipe1425

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I have not been penetrated in close to a decade. I think it is a "trust issue", but lately, I don't even know what is coming over me, lately, I think about it a lot.
I know it is a lot of prep work and watching what food you eat and cleaning and things, but more than anything, I feel like it is a trust issue...not wanting to just be pounded and then, they never see you again. That is what happened the last time. He was a hot guy with a big cock and I am still amazed he charmed his way into my ass, but he did and then, disappeared. I've tried to talk to him on different apps since, but he never responds, which makes me feel gross.
I would like to trust someone to not do that again, but the "animal" part of me just wants someone to come to my place in NYC and pin me down, kiss me passionately and slide it in and not stop until he's finishing inside me.
I am also mildly worried about size. I don't want the smallest of cocks inside me, because what is the fun in that...but I also am terrified that I won't be able to walk straight for a week with the big guys.
Looking for answers and possible solutions, please.
 
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Brodie888

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It seems pretty clear what you want.

To me, you sound like a relationship type of person. You need a connection with someone and that you both want to share a future together.

If that's your criteria, stick with it for as long as it serves you. I asume other forms of play are open to those who don't fit that criteria?

Big guys are about one in a thousand so I really wouldn't worry about that. Most will be between 4-6 inches erect. But really you should just worry about one thing at a time.

Otherwise you are just paralized by procrastination and wasting your life. 10 years is too long already. Time to act!
 

Wannabee

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I have not been penetrated in close to a decade. I think it is a "trust issue", but lately, I don't even know what is coming over me, lately, I think about it a lot.
I know it is a lot of prep work and watching what food you eat and cleaning and things, but more than anything, I feel like it is a trust issue...not wanting to just be pounded and then, they never see you again. That is what happened the last time. He was a hot guy with a big cock and I am still amazed he charmed his way into my ass, but he did and then, disappeared. I've tried to talk to him on different apps since, but he never responds, which makes me feel gross.
I would like to trust someone to not do that again, but the "animal" part of me just wants someone to come to my place in NYC and pin me down, kiss me passionately and slide it in and not stop until he's finishing inside me.
I am also mildly worried about size. I don't want the smallest of cocks inside me, because what is the fun in that...but I also am terrified that I won't be able to walk straight for a week with the big guys.
Looking for answers and possible solutions, please.
From what I have read it's the usual dating thing or as the saying wam bam thank you goes. Have heard women say the same and while there's no guarantee of anyone staying around there's a ton of players getting what they want and then leaving weather gay, hetero or other. I have a trans. obsession and live in a rural setting and def. won't see the quality of those types of women in my area. I of course fantasize about the smoothness and kissing I would do to her feeling her softness and her sliding in till she throbs and releases her thickness in me. In saying that as I said this isn't an area for the quality and then there's the disease factor. Guess it will remain a fantasy but I hope you find what your looking for in your search!
 

theplayerking

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I have not been penetrated in close to a decade. I think it is a "trust issue", but lately, I don't even know what is coming over me, lately, I think about it a lot.
I know it is a lot of prep work and watching what food you eat and cleaning and things, but more than anything, I feel like it is a trust issue...not wanting to just be pounded and then, they never see you again. That is what happened the last time. He was a hot guy with a big cock and I am still amazed he charmed his way into my ass, but he did and then, disappeared. I've tried to talk to him on different apps since, but he never responds, which makes me feel gross.
I would like to trust someone to not do that again, but the "animal" part of me just wants someone to come to my place in NYC and pin me down, kiss me passionately and slide it in and not stop until he's finishing inside me.
I am also mildly worried about size. I don't want the smallest of cocks inside me, because what is the fun in that...but I also am terrified that I won't be able to walk straight for a week with the big guys.
Looking for answers and possible solutions, please.
Men are pigs but life is short. You have to pick your poison.

I live in NYC as well and repeat hookups are rare as there are so many options to choose from. Unfortunately you either need to find a BF (also a daunting challenge) or make your peace with one-time encounters. I’ve had a few two or three repeat hookups with guys, but never found a long-term fuck buddy (apart from my husband) in the city.