It's Have a Kid Time!

[Principessa]

I want at least 2 boys, one I'll name Xavier Dimitrius and another named Coprenicus Julian. None of my friends like that second name. Do you have a preference as far as sex? Do u have a name ready for whichever sex u get?

I hate the first name and you spelled the second one wrong, it's Copernicus. Why do you want to name a black child after a Polish astronomer and mathematician?
Julian is okay, like Julian Bond. Xavier Dimitrius is just too damned long and hard to spell. Are you aware that a child can fail kindergarten if they can't spell their full name? It's something to think about.

Do what one of my girlfriends did. Type the full name at the top of a sheet of paper, as you would on a resume. If it doesn't look professional or hireable don't name your baby that!

 

[marleyisalegend]

genetic counseling is something most of my friends have undergone to ensure a healthy child.
many friends have had miscarriages and that has been heartbreaking for the loss. but despite the loss, all have been reasonable and realized that if the child was not to be born, then this was the way it should go.

Only person I know who's had one is my mom, she never talked about it, I found out from my sis, then again I imagine it's not something people would really feel like telling you.

I can't imagine anything worse than spending 9 months carrying a baby just to lose it at birth. I think that's part of what drove Whitney Houston bat-shit crazy. That, and the rampant drug abuse.

 

[marleyisalegend]

I hate the first name and you spelled the second one wrong, it's Copernicus. Why do you want to name a black child after a Polish astronomer and mathematician?

The misspelling is intentional. I want the pronunciation to be "pren" not "pern."

Are you aware that a child can fail kindergarten if they can't spell their full name?

Kids have stronger learning capacities than one would think. My niece Jada can memorize spanish phrases that I only tell her only one time, she's only 4.

 

[invisibleman]

Invisible man - yes. i am ready to be a dad. I have been and have had a few relationships end because the women were not ready or did not want children.
We were raised as children of privilege, gentility. One's status can always be better, i think.
What does the child want? i would hope the child would want the absolute devotion and unconditional love of its parents.
Legalities will be sorted out before entering into such an arrangement to be sure.
Thanks for your thoughts. I am appreciative of them.

Yeah, I am so happy to know that you are thinking of those things. I have met some people that they felt they were ready...and when they had the child...things were entirely a different story. And things got worse for the kid. The kid is now a mess. And I was really angry at the parents and felt really bad for the kid.

 

[goodwood]

most miscarriages occur early on in the pregancy. that does not make the loss any less significant to either parent.

 

[goodwood]

oh geez invisibleman - i am sorry to hear of the kid being a mess.
if this thing goes through, it will be well thought out with the child's
best interest in mind. i would have it no other way, which is why i
don't have one yet. i haven't found a mom that is of the same mind set.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Not for nothing, but given my past knowledge of you, nd your family, if you got pregnant tomorrow your kid would most likely have mental issues. :tongue: Age ain't got nothing to do with it babe.

SSSSSnap!

 

[invisibleman]

I just like the name, and the misspelling is intentional. I want the pronunciation to be CoPREnicus, not CoPERnicus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeE_SMJHCZ4

"I have a nephew named Anferny and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him ANFERNY."--Tim Meadows as Mr. Duvall in MEAN GIRLS​

Hehehe.
I had to.
Sorry.
:smile:​

 

[marleyisalegend]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeE_SMJHCZ4

"I have a nephew named Anferny and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony. Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact that my sister named him ANFERNY."--Tim Meadows as Mr. Duvall in MEAN GIRLS​

Hehehe.
I had to.
Sorry.

:smile:​

That vid was HILARIOUS! Awkwaaaard!

 

[Xcuze]

Reading this thread I just see a lot of selfishness. Talking about names & specific genetics....alarm bells ringing!! People seem to think they have a right to have a child. You dont. Gay men who bang on about wanting a child particularly annoy me. Fuck you & YOUR needs - a child needs a Mother! No man can replace what a woman gives to a child & I will argue that point to the death. Get a fucking Chihuahua.

As for this specific case - your ideas of living together etc just seem somewhat riddled with pitfalls. The practicalities of it are not in the childs best interests. But do u even care about what the child wants? I doubt it.

 

[cocktoberfest]

has anyone done this?

will and grace did it. you can get all eight seasons on netflix to see how that worked out for them.

 

[marleyisalegend]

Reading this thread I just see a lot of selfishness. Talking about names & specific genetics....alarm bells ringing!! People seem to think they have a right to have a child.

I had no idea that planning children is such a bad idea, thanks for opening my eyes Your judgmentalism is normally amusing but when it comes to people's families it's just in poor taste.

Gay men who bang on about wanting a child particularly annoy me.

Bill O'Reilly, is that you?

Fuck you & YOUR needs - a child needs a Mother!

Everyone who's mentioned having kids has mentioned a mother. We can't make a baby by ourselves. Besides, do you have any statistical proof that children NEED a mother or is that just your uneducated, presumptive opinion?

But do u even care about what the child wants? I doubt it.

That's because you constantly act like a judgmental bitch who can't post 2 sentences without criticizing somebody.

 

[Mandee]

Mandee, these are some pretty interesting statistics -

Maternal age 30 years, Down Syndrome risk factor is 1 pregnancy in 1089

SNIP​

Thanks, but you didn't need to tell me this. I wasn't talking about JUST downsyndrome... there are other risks as well.

I have taken college level parent child development classes where I learned statistics such as these, and that is when I made the decision that I want to have my children before I'm 30. Please don't act like I have no idea what I'm talking about. This is my choice.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

I would be a surrogate for a gay guy any day, they should have the same rights to be parents as anyone else.

 

[Mandee]

Goodwood, since you both want a child, will you be living together? If not, this is a sucky deal for the child. :frown1:

Don't go postal on Goodwood, at least he knows what he wants. It's not like you were gonna adopt a white baby. :tongue: Personally, I want my babies to have good hair like you and Naughty. :biggrin1:

:rofl: Give yourself until 40, 30 will be here so quick your head will spin.

My mom had me at 36 and I do have issues with depression but it wasn't because of her age at the time of conception. Not for nothing, but given my past knowledge of you, nd your family, if you got pregnant tomorrow your kid would most likely have mental issues. :tongue: Age ain't got nothing to do with it babe.

I didn't say that every person born to someone over 30 has mental issues, and I did not say that I was going to go out and have a baby tomorrow either, now did I?

I am not the kind of idiot that I would run off tomorrow and go get myself knocked up just for the sake of having a baby. I plan to have my life settled and to be married to someone stable before I make such a life-changing decision.

Thanks....

 

[goodwood]

Wow Xcuze. And whoa. Back this bus up.
Thank you for your thoughts to be sure. That is why i posted this thread to have people share their thoughts on this matter.
I am seriously surprised to have such a repsonse from you.
Specifics, logistics, legalities are very much in the forefront of this whole consideration.
I am rather aghast to think anyone that knows me would think i would undertake having a child is something i would take lightly.
The compatability of the mother and me are job one. Once we are squared away then baby will be the top job.
I don't know what else to say. I am surprised to think anyone would think this is not something i would would mention, much less consider seriously without extensive thought.
Xcuze's thoughts make me regret sharing my own and cuase me to not be inclined to share my greatest hope in life about having a partner as an equal that will share in the pleasure and joy of being a parent.

 

[goodwood]

cocktoberfest -
i enjoyed that show. will was gay. grace was not. i am not gay, neither is the proposed mother. i fail to see the corrolation.

 

[D_season 5]

Ok.
So how many people here have said to a friend of the opposite sex that 'by the time we are 40 if we aren't married or have kids, we will do that with each other."?

I have made several such joking deals with women, but either she or I were involved and so nothing came to pass.

However, I was on the phone tonight with a friend i went to high school with and we have known each other since we were 15 and we have both been around the block so many times we are dizzy.

I was telling her how i was seriously checking into egg and surrogate donors and also would consider adoption because the desire to be a father is so strong.

She was telling me that she was also looking to have a child and be willing to do it on her own.

So we agreed to talk at length in a few days about the prospect of having a child together since its what we both want and we have similar expectations of how we would want a child to be reared and educated, etc.

I am kind of hoping this works out. We don't want to be in a relationship with the other one. But we both want a child of a specific genetic make up and want the child to be raised in the manner we both were, but better.

Has anyone ever actually been in this position? has anyone done this?
I am ready to be a dad and she is ready to be a mom and we have been close friends, our families have been friends for almost 25 years.
We see no reason that we should undertake the same task on our own when we might be able to work it out together. What say you?

WOW how cool is this...two people bringing life into a complex and hateful world...and they don't have a relationship...just what this kid needs...is more sense of no one loves me...no sense of family, stability, community, or where is mom or where is dad...

I'd say...sounds like two very selfish and self centered people are going to make a HUGE mistake at the cost of one innocent child...

do u not think its important for a child to have a sense of family? to feel the strength of the family unit? if ur own family lacked all of this, why re create it? and if u had most of this...why deny it to an innocent baby?

if its time to have a kid...i'd re set ur watch...or go someplace to learn how to tell time...from reading ur post...u have no clue on father rearing...
and yes..its rearing...we raise crops and animals...we rear children...
I am a gay guy..who would loved to have had children...but...not having a full time mom and wife to aid in rearing the child.. does not enhance the life of the child...there is a logical order to life...this...my friend..is anything but logical...

 

[goodwood]

No sense of family, stability, community, mom or dad?
what in the fuck are you talking about?! There will be no child in such a situation. Both of our families are well established and provide all of that and more.
OMG. i cannot believe this.

 

[goodwood]

and for the record - i have NEVER known a man and a woman to be so thoughtful about having a child as i and the proposed mother is in this situation!
now if i had a bunch of kids because i couldn't figure out how to use a condom, if i had an STD, if i had been married and divorced many times over, i would somehow be OK?
I am not caring for the tone here.