It's Have a Kid Time!

marleyisalegend

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I'd say...sounds like two very selfish and self centered people are going to make a HUGE mistake at the cost of one innocent child...

That's 100% judgmentalism on your part, how can you say that in spite of the obvious preparation he's taking? He's taking FAR more precautionary measures than half the busted condoms AKA babies walking around today.

there is a logical order to life

Really? Since when?

Goodwood, don't listen to these people, as soon as anyone mentions having kids, SOMEONE is going to point their finger and act like they're a seasoned child counselor, notice how everything Xcuze and 11inch are saying is OPINION, NOT FACT. No quotes from specialists, no liscenced psychologists or sociologists, they're just passing their own opinion as the golden truth. Kinda psychotic if you ask me.
 

goodwood

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IF in fact this wa the undertaking of two selfish people, why in the hell if we are that selfish, hafve we not foregone birth control and condoms?
Why have we be so selective in a mate that we are still seeking the perfect mate and parent of our children?
 

MickeyLee

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i don't think they're planning on starting this family tomorrow. it sounds like two people who are at the place in their lives where families and children are something they want and not something they stumbled into. two people who will weigh and plan for every possible outcome. then cover their butts for the unexpected.

nothing you've said strikes me as selfish or impetuous. you mention stable families, a long term friendship with this woman, ability to provide, the desire for your child to have everything advantage you had and more. i'd imagine you have ideas for eduction, how you plan on raising you child, what you have to offer a child. the full wonderful parent book of concerns. just from your replies to this thread i can't see this being a vanity or a whim.

i wish you the best of luck.

ML
 

marleyisalegend

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Goodwood, some people are just sensitive towards reproduction. They want you to create your baby in a lab and keep it in a bubble, safe from the world, until it's 18.

People have been reproducing since the dawn of time, anyone who takes the time out to plan theirs is a saint in my book, beats "Whoops, the condom broke" or "Whoops, forgot to take my pill." Even worse is when the guy or girl uses trickery, like guys who poke holes in the condom or girls who lie about their fertility or lie about taking the pill.
 

goodwood

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apologies for the typos above.

about having a mom or a stay at home parent - this has been discussed.
it would be likely that the child would have two stay at home parents.
financials have been talked about. i would prefer to be a stay at home dad.
she might be a stay at home mom. it all depends on possibilities for us both.
i intend on being available to my children as much as is possible.
 

marleyisalegend

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Hate to just jump in but why not just get married and have and raise a child the old-fashioned way? Just asking...

1/2 the marriages end in divorce which causes mountains of damage to both parties, including the child. Why people still treat marriage like the SOLUTION and not the PROBLEM is beyond me.

Apparently people are so busy listening to Christian fundamentalists that they're ignoring statistics and facts and experts who make a living studying these things.
 

Principessa

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Hate to just jump in but why not just get married and have and raise a child the old-fashioned way? Just asking...
You talk as if finding someone you want to spend the rest of your life with is so easy? :lmao: Shit I've been looking for that guy for over 20 years. :rofl: In that time I have found men who would have made genetically great donor daddys; but as husbands and fathers they were sorely lacking.

I have no problem with Goodwood's plan.


will and grace did it. you can get all eight seasons on netflix to see how that worked out for them.
Actually they didn't do it. The baby that Grace had was Leo's. I think Will and the cop adopted a baby.
 

invisibleman

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If Goodwood thought that I was being heated in any way, that was not my intention. I was only being concerned about the future kid's welfare that is all.

Lastly, people can do whatever they desire.
 

goodwood

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thank you to the supportive members on this topic.
i was simply excited about the prospect of having a
life long dream come true and the conduit that would
permit it and wanted to share this possibility.
i was unprepared for the negative feedback.
but i asked for feedback and i got it. so no harm, no foul.
 

Xcuze

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Xcuze's thoughts make me regret sharing my own and cuase me to not be inclined to share my greatest hope in life about having a partner as an equal that will share in the pleasure and joy of being a parent.

Hey Goodwood, welcome to the world of open opinions.

If all u want is approval from erratic, fruit & nutjobs like Marley then maybe u shouldnt start threads requesting opinions. I dont approve of what you are doing. Sorry, but I dont. Its not even just about u having good intentions. You seem to think you can fake some kind of family enviroment for that child. But fake is fake. Its bad enough that so many children are in families that break up. But yours isnt even together in the first place! I can envisage all kinds of scenarios that would send your dream into turmoil. For which the child could suffer. One of u falling in love with someone else for a start. At least if u would adopt u could turn an already negative situation into a positive one. Wanting a child that doesnt even exist yet IS a completely selfish act. Giving love & security to an unwanted child that already exists isnt.
 

Garth33

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good question Garth.
that is not the nature of either of our personalities.
for such a serious thing as this, we are perhaps too
thoughtful.

Then it does seem, to me, selfish. That's not an insult bud but I have to say this strikes me as an odd arrangement of convenience for you and the mom. Is this how you want your son or daughter to think? Everything can be worked out by contract? In retrospect, even if my parents had the most bitter divorce imaginable and I was kicked around like a football...I'd think more of them than thinking I was just a name in SubSection 2, paragraph 4, line 6 of your "agreement"

again - no anger or hostility man. just my opinion...
 

cajun boy 8x6

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Dont You Know Youre Supposed To Just Randomly Knock The Baby Mama Up And Disappear, Let Her Get A Check From The Government, And Let The Baby Grow Up A Hard Hearted Thug.........................damned You Goodwood For Contemplating This Matter,and Trying To Give A Child A Good Home, And Love................................shame On You Wish You The Best Bud......... I Think You Should Take A Poll To See What Peep On Here Wood Name The Baby !!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

goodwood

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invisibleman - thank you. that is good of you to have the only imagined child's best interest at heart. I did not take your thoughts as being heated. Happy you shared them.
Xcuze - you don't approve of what i hope to do. that is fine. you have no need to approve of it, nor do i have a need for your approval or lack thereof. but i am happy you shared your thoughts.
we are both internationally oriented and adoption (as i mentioned) is something we talked of.
It is possible for people to be devoted parents with the common, mutual interest of a child at hand, yet have separate personal lives.
This whole scenario came about because i was telling her about my efforts to adopt, exploring egg and surrogate donation.
adoption is very much an option.
finally, i will concede that having a child is a selfish act. wanting to have a child is a selfish act. and i will admit that i would like to indulge in this selfishness and do it better than most people.
 

marleyisalegend

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If all u want is approval from erratic, fruit & nutjobs like Marley then maybe u shouldnt start threads requesting opinions.


Everyone has opinions, yours are irrelevant because they're not based on a modicum of knowledge, nothing you've said is proven, some SPECIALISTS, you know, people who studied this, would disagree.

Your opinion is appreciated, but just remember that it's an opinion, not a scientific find. There's a HUGE difference.
 

pstg

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1/2 the marriages end in divorce which causes mountains of damage to both parties, including the child. Why people still treat marriage like the SOLUTION and not the PROBLEM is beyond me.

Apparently people are so busy listening to Christian fundamentalists that they're ignoring statistics and facts and experts who make a living studying these things.

Who make a living by pulling them out of their arse, covered in festering cum like that "50% of marriages end in divorce" pile of gobble, aye? :rolleyes:
 

marleyisalegend

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Who make a living by pulling them out of their arse, covered in festering cum like that "50% of marriages end in divorce" pile of gobble, aye? :rolleyes:

Festering cum? Since when did we start ignoring facts? Just because you disagree with it doesn't discredit it unless you can offer some, ya know, FACTS.
 

goodwood

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oh - Cajun. Care to be the godfather? lol.
garth - no worries. i just said it is a selfish
desire. but it is intended. and when such great
thought is taken in such a matter as this, it is more
thought than anyone born here will have ever known by
their parents, i suspect.