It's taking me longer to reach orgasm

ConstantComment

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I'm really concerned about this. And yes, I am one those people who was masturbating in the absence of a partner. I am careful to masturbate now only in the middle of the week as my guy and I agreed we would only have sleep overs on the weekend.

He's very patient with me. But I am not with myself. Anyway to get back a woman's mojo? Btw, I am 50, premenopausal as I still get regular periods, night sweats but no heat flashes ---in case that makes a difference.

Maybe someone knows a thing or two about my problem.
 

bid6555

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Your question is likely beyond the scope of LPSG, but it is either physical or mental. When did the problem start? Any triggers going on at that time. Is your guy doing things the right way? How do you feel? Stuff like that.

WR
 

hsarge

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Regular masturbation could desensitize you clit, and cause a need for more stimulation. Additionally, you may have become tuned to your masturbation method in order to climax. Nothing say you can't help yourself 'along' while your partner is attending to you. Your the one who knows your body best.
 

D_Fiona_Farvel

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Would definitely check for high blood pressure. IIRC, about two years ago, one longtime female member posted about a similar issue with delayed orgasm or anorgasmia and later found it was due to untreated high blood pressure.

Regular masturbation could desensitize you clit, and cause a need for more stimulation.
:rolleyes:
 

ManlyBanisters

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What is this 'regular masturbation could desensitize your clit' bollocks?

That's a fucking urban myth, propagated by men (and some women who can't get over hang ups that masturbation is dirty but don't consider that a good enough excuse not to do it any more now they are grown up, enlightened, sexual goddesses :rolleyes:).

How do you even know she masturbates with clit stimulation as the main 'feature'?
 

hsarge

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Sorry! I am not against pleasure. I hope everyone has their fill. Sometimes we get locked into a particular way. I wish you peace, love, and pleasure, okay?
 

gunnaknow

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You could try The Orgasmic Diet. High dose fish oil is the main key to the diet, along with the use of a kegel device. I've found that high dose fish oil makes me extremely sensitive and climax alot sooner. I'm a man, so I don't want to climax so soon but it would be good for women. I found that fish oil that was higher in DHA than EPA, like cod liver oil, had much more of an effect than regular fish oil. Here's the whole diet below, with a note added by me. If you ever want to buy the book, it's called The Orgasmic Diet, by Marrena Lindberg.

This diet is for women who want to increase desire, improve sensation for clitoral orgasms, and develop (or strengthen) the ability to have vaginal orgasms. It increases dopamine relative to serotonin, improves free testosterone levels, and gives greater muscle tone and better blood circulation in the vagina.

Take daily:
Fish oil—enough to give atleast 1600 mg of EPA (usually amounts to about 3000mg of total Omega 3) (Note from gunnaknow: fish oil with higher DHA than EPA may be better, test for yourself)
The RDA of calcium/magnesium/zinc (1000/400/15 mg)
A good multivitamin like Centrum
Extra Vitamin C (a glass of orange juice a day is enough)
1-2 ounces high quality dark chocolate like Dove Promises Dark Chocolate or Lindt 70% Dark

Every two or three days
27 mg of iron (Do not take iron if you have the rare condition hemachromatosis).

Exercise your PC muscles (in your vagina) two to three times a week with an exercise device to improve muscle tone. I recommend a device called Gyneflex, which can be ordered online and costs $40.

Try to get protein at every meal, and try to eat more vegetables and fruits and less starchy and sugary foods. The more meals with protein, and carbohydrates coming from non-starchy fruits and vegetables, the higher the testosterone levels. Avoid transfats (partially hydrogenated oils) and polyunsaturated vegetable oils like corn oil and safflower oil. Butter, cheese, and other saturated fats are fine, and so are olive oil and canola oil.

The less caffeine and nicotine consumed, the better the diet will work. Also avoid herbal stimulants such as ginkgo or ginseng. Antidepressants and birth control pills will both seriously interfere with the effects of the diet. Of course do not go off of antidepressants to try this diet. However, you may find after taking high dose fish oil for a while that it helps with depression too. Certainly do not change any medication without your doctor’s guidance.

Usually the effects are beginning to be felt after a couple of weeks. If you don't feel any change after a month, at least an interest in sex, it's not working. That did happen with one woman who tried it. I have no idea why it didn't work with her. So it's not perfect. Oddly enough that woman loved the feeling of being on the diet so much that she stayed on it, it just didn't contribute anything to her sex life. Although her sex life was good to begin with--she tried it out of curiosity.

I should also mention that just following the vitamin and supplement part of it may have a beneficial effect, even if you are on antidepressants or smoke, etc. One woman who tried just the fish oil and the vitamins did not only feel improved desire and orgasmic ability, she was able to come off Prozac (with her doctor's supervision ofcourse). So I would recommend that women try what they can.
 
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mexdude

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"premenopausal" im not a doctor, but ive heard from doctors in tv (not the best reliable i know) that when that part of the women starts, hormones may get off balance, and u may need to go to ur medic so u get profesional treatment
 

B_subgirrl

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Regular masturbation could desensitize you clit, and cause a need for more stimulation.

I am actually going to give the opposite advice to this. I find that the more I play, the hornier I get, and the faster I orgasm. So I suggest playing more often!

And of course, check out the pre-menopausal thing with your doc.
 

RawDog

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I am actually going to give the opposite advice to this. I find that the more I play, the hornier I get, and the faster I orgasm. So I suggest playing more often!

Using fingers or a vibe? Clit or blended vag/clit masturbation? I know how ManlyBanisters feels, but what do you say to the argument that vibrators de-sensitizes the nerve endings to the clit? (For the record I agree with MB)
 

B_subgirrl

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Using fingers or a vibe? Clit or blended vag/clit masturbation? I know how ManlyBanisters feels, but what do you say to the argument that vibrators de-sensitizes the nerve endings to the clit? (For the record I agree with MB)

Oh, I'm a vibe girl all the way! And it's blended, but I try not to let the clit win because I prefer vaginal orgasms.

And I think MB is spot on. No desensitisation happening here.
 

RawDog

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Oh, I'm a vibe girl all the way! And it's blended, but I try not to let the clit win because I prefer vaginal orgasms.

And I think MB is spot on. No desensitisation happening here.

Ok, this "...but I try not to let the clit win because I prefer vaginal orgasms." has been bugging me for a bit. How common is this with other women? I feel this question needs it's own thread, but at the same time, this may be beneficial to the original post on this thread. :confused:
 

B_subgirrl

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Ok, this "...but I try not to let the clit win because I prefer vaginal orgasms." has been bugging me for a bit. How common is this with other women? I feel this question needs it's own thread, but at the same time, this may be beneficial to the original post on this thread. :confused:

For a bit of clarification, I can only get one orgasm (two if I'm really lucky) a time when I'm playing with toys. Weird really because I'm multi-orgasmic with humans. I prefer vaginal over clitoral orgasms, so I try to make sure I'm getting my preferred one.

I'm guessing it may be a little different for those who can have more than 1.
 
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petite

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I don't believe I've ever had a vaginal orgasm. It's all clitoral for me. When I orgasm from PIV sex, it's from secondary stimulation of my clitoris through tugging on my labia (i believe) or from more direct stimulation through contact with his pelvic area, either by rubbing my pubis mont against him while thrusting or grinding myself against him.
 

Enid

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Ok, this "...but I try not to let the clit win because I prefer vaginal orgasms." has been bugging me for a bit. How common is this with other women? I feel this question needs it's own thread, but at the same time, this may be beneficial to the original post on this thread. :confused:

I like both clitoral and vaginal orgasms, but I don't know if subgirl has a point with it possibly being because of the ability to have multiples. Maybe she's right.
 
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TheScotsman

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Whatever the issue is, I'd try not to focus all your thoughts on your problem since any worry or stress over it is only really going to magnify it. Stress does all sorts of crazy shit to the body, though I'm not saying that's necessarily the cause but it could well be a byproduct that's not helping.

The mind's a crazy thing.
 

B_curiousme01

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When I am really stressed, it's just about impossible for me to climax. It stresses me more that my hubby worries lover it. Try not to worry much over it and maybe move into a new "playful" plan with some toys, pretty things, and you guy. Best wishes.
 

petite

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You aren't on any antidepressants are you? When I was on one it took me progressively longer and longer to orgasm and then I lost the ability entirely.

If you are on one, don't make the horrible mistake I made and stop it cold turkey. I experienced SSRI discontinuation syndrome, which is a nice "non-druggy" sounding term they invented for "withdrawal symptoms" from stopping use of a mind altering drug, which is literally what antidepressants are. I experienced suicidal thoughts that were extremely intense for about a week and if I had not known that I was just experiencing a severe dopamine crash that was causing it and that I would no longer feel the same way in a few weeks, I might have taken my life, because that's how intolerable it felt to be alive.