Its the eve of the day all single people hate.. esp me

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by irish18, Feb 13, 2012.

  1. irish18

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    192
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Verified:
    Photo
    13th Feb only means one thing in my eyes. The day before the worst day of the year Valentines.

    For those who dont know me in the world of LPSG im irish18, a man of yes 18(soon to be 19) who has never had a girlfriend and is still a virgin.

    Im a romantic, deep down all i want is love and il admite it. Yes i have been for dates and i was out with a girl in the summer, all going well until she stop texting me for a week. The following week she text me saying she had a new boyfriend. that hurt me

    I should love valentines. and i know i will love it its just i want/need someone to love. I want to wake up tomorrow and kiss the person beside on the head before getting them breakfast in bed. Take them to dinner in a fine restaurant. Have 12 red roses delivered to where they work. Treat them as if they are the only person in the world.

    Its not very manly and i know il prob get stick on here for writing this, but this time of year kills me because im so alone. I hate valentines
     
  2. Viper73

    Viper73 Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2006
    Messages:
    244
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Osgood (IN, US)
    Irish18,

    Hang in there! I too find the whole Valentine's-thing depressing as hell. I've had several disasterous relationships including an engagement and have come to the conclusion that I'm - for better or worse - happier when I'm single.

    For some reason, society seems to think that unless you're paired off with someone you're less of a human being or something. I tend to look at it is I'd rather be single and happy being me than seeing someone and being miserable.

    Look at it this way... We won't be sucked into the trap of paying ridiculous prices for candy and flowers just because the greeting card and floral industry says we should :)
     
  3. tgirlsrgreat

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2010
    Messages:
    33,142
    Albums:
    11
    Likes Received:
    16,484
    Gender:
    Male
    Verified:
    Photo
    where are you trying to meet people?

    maybe you should seek some professional help, the tone of your message leads me to think of some fairly heavy self esteem issues. get happy with yourself and others will get happy with you.
     
  4. irish18

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    192
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Verified:
    Photo
    Viper that is true i dont have to pay large sums on things(good thing to, no cash) lol but still be nice to have someone to love. As for tall im to young for professional help i think, yeah i do have some bad self esteem issues, lost all my confidence when i was bullied years ago, but no one wants to hear a sob story lol
     
  5. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    I agree with tgirl..but I have to say this is maybe the best time to be single. No responsibilities to spend wasted money on over priced goods. Trust me it is even better when you give the type of gifts or dinners on days which are not designated as days to do so.
     
  6. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    professionals are paid to hear sob stories. don't sweat it. Do you know that there are child therapists who see kids as young as 4 and 5, you are not too young to seek help
     
  7. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
    To add, the most stressful and confusing time in life can be when you approach adulthood.
     
  8. erratic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    4,410
    Likes Received:
    287
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    Hang in there, dude. Do you have access to an anti-Valentine's party? There's one near where I work where you can bring in tokens of people who dumped/spurned/shot you down and throw them in a big bonfire.

    As for me, one of the great things about being in a relationship with another dude is that neither of us really thinks of it. Just today my husband was like "Shit, tomorrow's Valentine's Day!" and I was like "Whatever" and he was like "Yeah, fuck that shit."
     
  9. irish18

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    192
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Verified:
    Photo
    i know what your saying hub but fact is im just lonely and need a girlfriend. thats all. and yes she would be treated like a queen, i am a very romantic emotional person, looking at my body you mightnt think that. well by summer i hope to be built. Anyway erratic that sounds like a great party but there are none on round here. the main thing i want is just to be loved it think...
     
  10. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,363
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,957
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    Its the eve of the day all single people hate.. esp me
    13th Feb only means one thing in my eyes. The day before the worst day of the year Valentines.

    Cheers and Hallelujah
    tbh............
    I personally dont have too much sympathy for those of whatever age, who have allowed themselves to be entrapped in the hyperbole and sheer BS of all 'days' be it Xmas, Easter, Fathers, Mothers, Valentines, and ALL others
    Have a small little acknowledgement yes? but to let it rule yr life almost, absolutely ridiculous, and why i have no sympathy

    as it came about, and over the years, with each day being declared a 'special designated day' for.......... whatever
    I laffed, and started to think if the World was going to run out of days...365.. then they would probably start doubling up

    DONT allow yourself to be 'sucked in' by commercialism, / marketing etc etc
    and you may well not lead as stressful a life

    NO reflection on you OP, just a chance for my rave for the day............





    x

    additt
    well i better make a few exemptions
    such as World Aids day etc
    sure as hell someones going to pick up on it....why do i feel the need to cover myself?? avoid lpsg stress?? ha
     
    #10 rbkwp, Feb 13, 2012
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2012
  11. hud01

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2009
    Messages:
    5,262
    Likes Received:
    23
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    new york city
  12. S_V_J

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2012
    Messages:
    140
    Albums:
    6
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Sweden
    Verified:
    Photo
    @Irish18

    All my life I never gave two cents about Valentine's day. I remember kids running around giving each other roses, from third grade onward.

    I feel I could be quite the romantic aswell if I got involved with someone. I just never developed the interest until my friends were way too far ahead for me to start that journey along with them. From my early twenties I feel depression and self esteem issues have dictated my relationship status.

    Since November, I have begun a serious self improvement effort, and I have just recently started going to a therapist. We all have our emotional baggage, some more than others.
    If you have things you feel you haven't talked about, or shouldn't talk about, go see a therapist. They are professional listeners.

    Writing about things in forums or chat rooms is absolutely of benefit, but nothing beats talking to a real person. You can simply repeat the things you write here, or elsewhere, to the therapist for some real feedback between the two of you.

    I still don't panic about Valentine's day. It's bullshit, and noone should buy into it unless they are prepared to do, and buy, the same things any other day.

    Have you made efforts finding someone? Do you have any good memories of being in a relationship?
    Do you have female friends to talk to?

    Again, these are things a therapist should listen to. He/she would know what questions to ask, what followup questions to ask, and what advice to give. They've seen it all before, and they do great work.

    You say it would be too expensive? Is there no way to get some kind of financial backing or publicly funded therapist?
    I guess I'm lucky, I pay the symbolic sum of 15$ a session ...

    If you have things you feel you can't talk to your friends, family or anyone else about, the therapist's job is to be there for you.
     
  13. irish18

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    192
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Verified:
    Photo
    S V J thanks man, i just find it hard at times. I just wish i could find a girlfriend. i just want love
     
  14. erratic

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 27, 2007
    Messages:
    4,410
    Likes Received:
    287
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Canada
    You'll get it. And lots of it.

    Please do remember that Valentine's Day is a marketing holiday, and that one night a year can't sustain a loving relationship. If all the people who spent gobs of money on Valentine's Day gave their partners the same amount of (free) attention at different points throughout the year, divorce rates wouldn't be nearly so high.

    When it comes to a long-lasting love, Valentine's Day is weak broth. The important part is showing the love and earnestness that you want to show when it comes genuinely. Just before bed after a hard day. With a back rub on a warm summer night. With an out-of-the-blue "I love you" while you're walking down the street.

    You'll get the chance to do all that. Trust me. I spent a long time looking for someone who wanted all that from me, walking through a lot of years of frustration. But it happened. And if it happened to me, it can happen to anyone.
     
  15. nudeyorker

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2006
    Messages:
    42,918
    Likes Received:
    38
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC/Honolulu
    You will find love when you are ready to have it find you. Meanwhile enjoy your life now and use this time to start becoming the best boyfriend material possible.
     
  16. Joll

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    Messages:
    14,523
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    723
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Wales (GB)
    I agree.

    Valentine's used to get to me too I think, but at the moment I'm just glad I don't have to bother buying anything for anybody. :biggrin1:

    This, too. :)
     
  17. D_JuanAFock

    D_JuanAFock New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2007
    Messages:
    568
    Likes Received:
    0
    I found love, love just wont find me. I have lived and enjoyed my life, I want to enjoy it with somebody else with me. I know eventually itll happen, I just hate that it hasnt yet...
     
  18. rbkwp

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2007
    Messages:
    29,363
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    1,957
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Auckland (AUK, NZ)
    I found love, love just wont find me. I have lived and enjoyed my life, I want to enjoy it with somebody else with me. I know eventually itll happen, I just hate that it hasnt yet...

    Yes
    precisely how it can happen with some of us, no matter how much enthusiasm we display for the elusive love, there is anguish galore, at times for some of us,
    29 before my turn came, haha damn late
    but
    no regrets, for me, as i achieved heaps with that early solo life, and now, have resigned quite happily to the last 10 or so years solo, and from hence, am sure it will be singular, not looking and am sure anyone who happens along will be a friend only.
     
  19. irish18

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2011
    Messages:
    211
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    192
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Northern Ireland
    Verified:
    Photo
    thanks guys. people like you the reason why i love this site :)
     
  20. D_Bubba_Butter

    D_Bubba_Butter Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2012
    Messages:
    2,845
    Likes Received:
    13
    Hey, Irish18.

    Don't be despondent! You're still young & have plenty of time to find 'The One' for you. What you need to be doing at your age is getting out there, having fun with your mates, trying new things & having a laugh. Make yourself do things you wouldn't normally try, even things that would normally scare you. You'll get to meet lots of interesting new people & build self-confidence. You're not going to find love by fixating on it; in my experience, it happens when you're least expecting it & are really enjoying life. That's because having fun, feeling comfortable with yourself & having confidence are innately attractive qualities.

    You will, most probably, fall in love and have your heart broken several times before you find the right person for you. That's just life, sadly. You will learn to recognise when things aren't right & when to make gracious exit. Relationships are about investing yourself in someone else, & becoming vulnerable to them, so it'll always hurt a little when it doesn't work out. Particularly if you're a romantic, but that's actually a very good thing to be; it means that you value relationships & your partner, & that will be appreciated by all but the most stony-hearted ice queens.

    As far as romantic St. Valentine's day goes, it was probably invented by the English poet, Chaucer and his mates. And now it's been taken over by the greetings card people, florists, restaurateurs and chocolatiers. If you really are that romantic, you'll find a much more personal way to mark special days than this.

    Also, if you're lonely, it's worth remembering that the English word 'love' is a coverall term. The ancient Greeks had four different terms: agape (unconditional or perfect love), eros (passionate, sensual love), filia (friendship) and storge (natural affection, i.e. family). Perhaps with the way you feel right now, you should concentrate on tapping into those other types of love before setting your sights on agape.

    And as for this:
    Anyone who wouldn't love you for the body you have won't provide you with the love you seek. There's nothing wrong with your physique, so if you want to do this, do it for yourself, because you want to.

    I am now exhausted after my de profundis episode. Sorry it's rather long and stream-of-consciousness-like.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted