I've become selfish

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by MissEricaCourt, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. MissEricaCourt

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    Well its not necessarily that I have become totally selfish, but I find myself leaving my bf without an orgasm alot of times lately. It's not at all that I don't make the effort it's just extremely hard to get him to orgasm and by the time he gets anywhere near it, he has pretty much worn me out. I'm debating about telling him we can stop using condoms, i know hes std free and im on birth control, its just that little extra protection that there is no chance im getting pregnant. Does anyone know of any thin condoms for bigger guys that will hold up well during sex? We have tried a few kinds but they have all broken and he ended up going back to Magnum xl's which he says fit him best. I think its really just a bad combination of my orgasms being so intense I just don't wanna move at all after them, and him taking a massive amount of stimulation. With oral sex on him, I pretty much am on the virge of lockjaw by the time i can get him off. :frown1: I've never had any issues pleasing the other guys i've been with, its just tough to keep up for very long with sex or oral sex because my orgasms are so intense with him, coupled with the fact that I am getting pretty sore pretty fast. Any constructive advice will be much appreciated.
     
  2. sares

    sares New Member

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    I'd do without the condoms myself, assuming you're in a commited relationship and he helps you remember to keep that pill schedule ironclad.

    if you're still worried, have him pull out right at ejaculation to reduce the amount of come inside you. just keep lowering the chances.

    alternatively, why not cheer him on as he beats it himself condom-free?
     
  3. Lex

    Lex
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    Another thing you can try is putting a little lube inside the condom. The additional lubrication may allow him to have an orgasm while wearing it.
     
  4. B_horribleperson

    B_horribleperson New Member

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    what works best for me is to have her give me oral sex/handjob to get me warmed up. after about 15 minutes of that we will move into the fucking. after about 30minutes and a number of positions im about ready to cum.
     
  5. B_Spladle

    B_Spladle New Member

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    Ditch the condoms.

    saresisright
     
  6. karmen

    karmen New Member

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    When my man has a hard time cumming, I always use a combination of methods to arouse him.

    For example, give him an oral/hand job. Next, ride his cock for a while. Then, go back to oral/hand job. Next, ride his cock for a while longer. Lather, Rinse and Repeat until he cums.

    You might also, let him jack himself off while you lick his cock head or his balls or gently nibble on his nipples or slap on a pair of nipple clamps. Just do whereever he finds very stimulating. Then ride his cock for a while. Lather, Rinse and Repeat until he comes.

    Perhaps let him watch his favorite porn scene while you give him oral and then ride his cock for awhile.

    Since you are so orgasmic with him, don't leave him hanging like that. As a female, I've spent plenty of time watching the guy cum while I just got to "feel good". :rolleyes:

    However, once, I actually had my first orgasm. And learned that a man COULD actually get me off during our intimate encounters, I never wanted to just watch my partner get off without my getting off also.

    Good luck and I hope you two work it out to both of your satisfaction.

    Hugs and Kisses,

    Karmen
     
  7. sares

    sares New Member

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    amen, two wrongs don't make a right! :tongue:

    (though I was amused by the turnabout :eek:)
     
  8. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    I freaking hate condoms. As a single male I understand they're a necessary evil... I use them when I'm with anybody I'm not sure is clean or that may be sleeping with other people... and I can still climax while wearing one... but sex is so much better without them.

    It feels about 1000 times better for me, and the women I'm with tell me it feels better for them. When wearing them I sometimes lose my erection after the first go, or have a difficult time going more than once in a row. I have much better control over my climaxes without one, being able to cum faster, longer, whatever... I also find it really dries out my partner's vagina and does lead to increased soreness. If it's not that you're getting bored and your chief problem is tenderness... some spit (great lubricant), water-based lube, or increased foreplay just prior to insertion could potentially help.
     
  9. sares

    sares New Member

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    I hate 'em too, so there's another femal e datapoint. and after seeing Mr.Sares struggle mightily with many big-boy brands, I completely support large guys finding alternatives.
     
  10. Lordpendragon

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    Have you asked him if he minds not ejaculating every time you have sex?
     
  11. Heather LouAnna

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    You're feeling selfish. I'm feeling lazy.

    I've dumped two guys because it'd take them at least two hours to come during sex. :rolleyes: Honey, I got shit to do. Foreplay and anything else I'd try did nothing to aid in helping this process and they'd always end up jerking off toward the end.

    They had to go. Yes, I'm that fucking lazy. Good luck to you and your bf.
     
  12. D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah

    D_Kay_Sarah_Sarah Account Disabled

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    Id say for you its a matter of getting your guy turn on enough before sex even starts. Intead of giving him oral try letting him watch you masturbate or even watch a porno together and jack him off a little or let him do it himself until he is fairly well aroused.

    If you are worried dont give up the condoms, using them puts the mind at ease and not having one can make you worry like crazy. But try what Lex said and put a little lube inside of it. He gets a more natural wet feeling and not so much of a being covered up one which should help him
     
  13. rawbone8

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    If you're sure you're ready to move to gloveless, that's possibly going to take him closer sooner, but if it doesn't, you could always experiment and see if he responds to prostate stimulation when you give him oral or when he's inside you.

    Most importantly, talk to him. He may not have a clue that it's a problem for you if you don't share that with him.
     
  14. Snakebyte

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    lucky you
    I cum quite fast, not too fast but... you know
     
  15. Gisella

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    And about the possibility that his masturbation 'techniques' is to forcefull and the stimulation he is getting from your mouth or vagina is not so ? Ask him to see him masturbating to have an ideia how he do it...

    ASk him to not masturbate for a while and do it with condons to see the results...

    Yeh Erica, most men respond fast to stimulus and they have to learn to control to wait ...its your experience and mine too. Do your 'part' but talk to him about the situation and let him come with solutions too.
     
  16. sares

    sares New Member

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    good point Gisella!! I forgot all about this.

    sometimes guys masturbate with the GRIP o' DEATH and therefore they need crazy stimulation to get off. Dan Savage advises these guys to force themselves to learn to get off from gentle things, like rubbing with silk scarves, to try and re-sensitize themselves. I think it's a great idea.
     
  17. Lordpendragon

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    The story goes that some cut guys can be desensitised, add the condom and you may have an answer. I have not been cut and the slightest touch of a tongue in the right spot can make me jump. Condoms restrict the movement of my skin and is far less pleasureable - partners have said the same by the way.

    Can I add that some positions are better for a guy to come in. If the woman is on top and experiencing strong orgasms, I can not come - it's very distracting - great, but distracting to your own release. However Doggy and feet over the shoulders is a different matter.
     
  18. MissEricaCourt

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    Well what I ended up doing was going to the place I got my tongue pierced and asking them there if they had any tonge barbells made for stimulation during oral sex to make it more intense. My friend has one that looks like a little koosh ball on the end that her bf really enjoys I guess. However, i got something even better, I got one that vibrates. Needless to say ive at least temporarily solved the orgasm problem with that. I had him try it on me too, he also has his tongue pierced, and it was amazing, im glad i found such a great new toy.
     
  19. teasedsilly

    teasedsilly Member

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    Glad that the problem is temporarily solved, but just out of curiosity how does he feel about having trouble orgasming? I know in his position, I would be more concerned with having a really nice time overall than letting the focus of my orgasm become a frustration for the girl I was with. All of the time you put into trying to make him come may even put pressure on him, and you just can't do it when you feel you have to. I think it's great that you found a new way to bring him pleasure, but if he does have trouble again in the future it might help to just be more casual about it. It'll happen in time, but like a watched pot...
     
  20. bakardi420

    bakardi420 Member

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    Where do you get a vibrating tongue ring? How does it work?

    To me, taking the condom off would have been a little easier than both of you getting your tongue pierced! lol But to each their own!

    I think most of the good answers have been said already, but have you talked to him about it? What does he think it is? Maybe it's the guy psychology of needing to "last" and give you incredible sex everytime. Maybe when he jerks off, he always does so for at least an hour so he is used to stimulating for that amount of time.

    Maybe next time try telling him you want a quickie. Talk to him during it, tell him you want to feel his cum spray on you (or something like that, get him going towards that climax!)

    Good luck, and don't forget that talking to HIM about it is the best idea!
     
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