I've fallen for a co-worker..

[Uslidenme]

First ANYONE that wants to play psychological games with you needs to have their head examined. I don't agree at all that you should play head games with someone because you will deserve it if he blames you for his life falling apart and comes looking to cap your ass.

But to the original question: Don't play with a mans family. Its bad karma and its tacky. However I disagree with the woman's assessment who said that just because a guy sends out his picture means he wants to play around.
The fact that this site exist is proof that guys like to show off. They like to be admired. Some of the stuff they like to be admired for women don't really seem to get. (I suspect the reverse is true as well)
I've found it astounding that so many men are honest about their orientation on this board. Very few of the men say they are 100% anything and certainly the Kinsey study said that long ago. It also said that at least amongst men there are more bi men then either totally straight or totally gay.
So its probable that the person you like so much at work may have feelings toward you as well.
But heres the thing you have to ask yourself. Do you want the best for your friend? Are you really a good friend or do you just want what you want and damned the consequences?
If he's happily married leave him alone. If hes unhappily married he really doesn't need you muddying the pot. If there are children involved especially they need their dad more then you need to get off with him.
Let me reiterate... head games are never a good thing to do to anybody. Its cruel and manipulative and says more about your own shortcomings then the person you are doing it to.
If you are going to be someone's enemy don't pretend otherwise.
Guys hardly ever do this to each other. If you have a beef with a guy you fight it out and shake hands and its done. Some guys do play head games but its mostly women who do that. Not all women, but it seems more accepted among women. Ok going back to lurking now

 

[Biggusdickus]

He's not actually married, he just lives with her. He's always telling me they wouldn't me together if it wasn't for the kids. Not that it makes it any easier!

I've noticed something else that he does. When I'm around colleagues he'll joke around about me and him being together. One example is the other day I was outside speaking to him and as we went back into the office he said "No Will, it's my turn to top today."

Without giving out my name and his, they sound very alike. If you were to say both our names we do sound like a gay couple. Last week when meeting clients Phil introduced us both and said "God *MY NAME*, we sound like a couple!"

I'm starting to think he simply enjoys the sexual attention I give him, he is a very flirty guy. I wish I hadn't developed feelings for him .

 

[noirman]

Aside from the complications this could cause in his personal life, workplace romances are generally not a good idea.

 

[helgaleena]

The kids have to come first if he is truly a good person. And if you are too, the kids need to be protected from all this by you as well. Whether or not he has married her, he has tied himself to this woman and these children for their biological lives. Whatever he does with others is going to impact them all.

I think you need to get to know the mother of his kids and see whether it is okay with her to be sending photos of himself working out to strange females OR males. If it is, the relationship is open enough that pursuing him will not cause hurt. If it isn't, he's a hypocritical cheater and will do you wrong too eventually, as well as the ones he has tied himself to.

 

[tgirlsrgreat]

If I wasn’t nice, I apologize. I hardly think it qualifies as tough love, but it is well meant and big guy I stick by it. Dude, you are drawing disaster. What could you do worse? Dip your ass in honey and go in a grizzly den. That’s about it.

This is your job. We got a bad recession – no time to risk your position.

The man is taken. Even if he makes a move, you have a decision – there’s “taken” and then there’s “taken” – so it’s hard to judge. But making a move on someone who is taken is not something we should ever recommend and instead we should recommend don’t take the chance.

You have a great relationship with this guy. It’s been my experience substantiated by more than a few threads in this forum, that we gay guys can convince ourselves something is clicking with a straight guy only to discover his bonding to us means something wildly different. I know when I responded it was the same as speeding into a brick wall – actually way worse than if I’d simply and mistakenly suggested something to just any guy who turns out to be straight.

I could go on. This situation is a bear’s den for you. I think making any move, unless he makes a clear move, is going to be a disaster for you.

Now shame on me for telling you how I see it. One of the things I like about LPSG is that like Lillian_Hellman [who is, herself, being way nicer than her namesake], we are kind to one another. We often encourage. But telling one another it’s OK when we think it’s got disaster potential is not protecting one another.

good advice and the ass dipped in honey line was funny!!

 

[B_RedDude]

Biggus, what country are you in? In what type of business do you work?

This guy is pretty loose at the office in actually referring to a specific sexual act out in the open, i.e., buttfucking.

I've noticed something else that he does. When I'm around colleagues he'll joke around about me and him being together. One example is the other day I was outside speaking to him and as we went back into the office he said "No Will, it's my turn to top today."

Without giving out my name and his, they sound very alike. If you were to say both our names we do sound like a gay couple. Last week when meeting clients Phil introduced us both and said "God *MY NAME*, we sound like a couple!" .

I think this is a very dangerous idea, for both Biggus and his colleague.

I think you need to get to know the mother of his kids and see whether it is okay with her to be sending photos of himself working out to strange females OR males.

 

[helgaleena]

Biggus, what country are you in? In what type of business do you work?




I think this is a very dangerous idea, for both Biggus and his colleague.

Red, why? It's the only honest way forward I can see. There is danger in NOT being allowed to meet the 'spouse'-- danger of being used and possibly scapegoated.