I think it depends where you are. At parties my guy friends who are buzzed are all over me, but usually just hugging me, putting their arm around my shoulders and sometime even trying to kiss me. Like people have been saying here, it's just what happens when males get wasted. They have so many inhibitions normally that when they get drunk, they need to express their care for their friends. I think it's pretty cool and usually feel comfortable with it. I don't like it if they are sloppy or are a little too amorous, like grabbing my crotch or my butt. In more public places, I'll ask them to cool it if it's making me feel uncomfortable. A little man love is actually really comforting and nice. We don't get enough of it from our buddies usually.
I've got a jock friend who becomes all touches and hugs when he drinks. It's strange.
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Not as much, I suppose. But he's really not that way 1 on 1 or in a small group.
It's as if there's a Public scenario protocol that's followed when more than 30 people are drinking together.
Note: I don't believe there is any sexual intensions on his part at all. That really is not the point. And yes, I do care about what others may be thinking or saying as a result of what they see.
It's as if there's a Public scenario protocol that's followed when more than 30 people are drinking together.
Note: I don't believe there is any sexual intensions on his part at all. That really is not the point. And yes, I do care about what others may be thinking or saying as a result of what they see.Yes. Pretty much. It's got to be some kind of fallout from our judeochristian roots. It got intensified over here. The man as stalwart, stoic, no reflection or inner life. Alone against the world. Even being a thinking man is somewhat suspected as perverted over here.
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I agree with you there. But that's not how I was reading your friend's behaviour from what you were saying.
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Hmm, but we have judeochristian roots in europe and the UK too, though we're more secular here than the states now, I think.
Could it have something to do with "frontier mentality" - the pioneering male having to protect himself and his family in a hostile environment?
Or if it's a more recent development, could it be an unintended side-effect of gay liberation? Straight men declaring their straightness by keeping themselves isolated from other men?
This is horrible advice. NEVER do this! Leave the man alone to be who he is. He's obviously not at all insecure about any of this, you are. Who's the alcoholic in your family? If you are out with your friend, and he is this generous of spirit, you can assume that others read him correctly, you do not have to apologize for him to anyone, nor worry about what others think.
I recommend you read "Codependent No More." The subtitle is "How to stop controlling others and start taking care of yourself." And that's exactly what it's about.
Meanwhile, he could be spending time hanging with other more friendly people who care less about what onlookers think.
I can really identify with Hung Jon's assessment. As a H.S. and college jock, the inhibitions use to drive me crazy. That's not to say that they still don't, especially since I spend so much time at the gym. Though, I've never sucked another guy's cock nor bottomed, I really get off on body worship with a couple of buds, mostly pec and pit play and a lot of mutual jacking. It can be tough going thru life with societial norms and expectations that have in turn inhibited expression of my true feelings for most of my male friends. At times it can be absolutely frustrating.
- MH07,
It's the demonization of homosexuality by the religious right. They are relatively few in numbers but very shrill, and the media (a huge influence, whether we'd like to admit it or not) are afraid of them as a group. Their influence is currently on the wane, so it'll be interesting to see how this works out in a few years. Sadly, though, to a whole group of adults, "gay" is an epithet, synonym for "bad"---"Dude, don't weat that, it's so gay" etc.
BTW, to the OP: Um, I'm one of those people too. When I get a few drinks going, I love EVERYBODY (which has been a point of some humor to my friends). I'm a "happy drunk". Doesn't mean I want to go to bed with a 60 year old female friend, just means I love her at that point in time. Don't read too much into it and don't worry about it.
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It is part of the culture, strong labeling from cars, clothings and yes sexual orientaton
Does worshipping your bud's bodies and not their cocks consider less gay then sucking their cocks?
We all have preference on showing our affections, there are guys I only want to lick , some I suck and some I let them fuck me
Then when I fuck a girl, does that make my Kinsey scale sliding again?
Finding somebody( gender aside) I like to have sex with is complicated enough, I don't want to be bother with further labeling
Frontier mentality sounds partly right. No more frontier out here, although still some drugstore cowboys. Cultural conventions take generations to dilute. May have had something to do with the whole freedom of religious expression and separation of church and state. Probably or paradoxically, separation of church and state probably strengthens both. Our whole system in the states is set up to be mutually adversarial.
Strangely though, I've heard or read from multiple sources that prior to the twentieth century the way we view gay and straight as polar opposites didn't exist. But I wasn't around in the nineteenth century so maybe it is myth making along the lines of the "noble savage." I do know that among the preserved writings of a few nineteenth century U.S. Presidents were almost love letters to male friends, although it probably wasn't sexually "consummated," whatever that may mean. Like it was okay then to love guys, but probably not to have sex with them. But I'm sure some did have sex as the percentage of gays was probably the same then as now. It was viewed differently, but since there's no time machine, what do I know?
Talking about taboo... you're straddling the edge of never never land, man. So why don't I add to the momentum
Going back in time, both in America and Europe....Ever wondered if, or how often, those big, strong slave men where ordered to secretly engage in homosexual sex with their owners and/or friends of owners? Inquiring minds want to know?.........
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Oh, sure it was a real love/hate passive/aggressive dominance/submission relationship that demeaned everyone it touched.
I always think of that scene in The Color Purple where the massive black guys are trying to help the stupid old white lady get her car turned around. I thought Spielberg did the whole sexual undercurrent of the situation pretty well.
I always think of that scene in The Color Purple where the massive black guys are trying to help the stupid old white lady get her car turned around. I thought Spielberg did the whole sexual undercurrent of the situation pretty well.
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That doesn't seem to be his thing. We've been alone, chilling, having lunch, etc. and he's never get's in that touchy mode. I'm thinking it's the booze.
I understand not wanting to sleep with your mates, but doj you feel anything sexual or have any erotic thoughts when you grab his ass?
What people do when they are drunk is what they want to do. The booze just loosens inhibitions.
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