I've had it up to here!

[Bryan_Lyte2]

I can't take it anymore. There is no satisfaction in gay sex, at least for me. I'm going to switch over. I cant stand going at it and they orgasm than leave. I can please them, but what the hell? I'm not supposed to orgasm? I WANT TO FINISH. It's frustrating because it feels like it will never happen.

O.k. so I only have had two experiences but I can safely say from those experiences that 1) if you don't get there first you are SOL 2) different positions yeild different results, and him on top does nothing for me.

I think I'm going to switch over because I doubt that a woman after having an orgasm will say O.k. that was good now let me go take a shower. I'm sure she would at least let me finish. SO I'm sort of proving my own point that men are selfish but come on I need luvin' too.

 

[chrisndenv]

Oh, okay.

Pulls up my pants and leaves :bye:

 

[jeff black]

Bryan,

Sorry to hear you had such a bad time. I am glad that you are able to Officially decide:biggrin1:

 

[tritonal]

It's better if you have sex with people who aren't jerks.

 

[D_alex8]

You sleep with schmucks, you get s(chm)uky sex, whether it's MM, MF, or MMFFMFMFMM.

Saying, "Oh, I'm ditching women/men/antelopes" on the basis of one or two bad experiences epitomises the saying, "throwing the baby out with the bath water" imho.

Would you stop talking to all German/transsexual/brown-eyed/etc. people because one or two were rude to you? ... Then apply the same logic here: let things work out on a case-by-case basis rather than living by (over)-generalizations. I realize that having sex with someone is much more intimate a case, so it has a greater emotional impact on you, but... this rule still holds up.

You're very impatient to find solutions and satisfaction. I understand that, but trying to stand back and play it cooler might bring you more dividends in the long run. And don't close down avenues rashly ... doing so might mean you're building a diversion around what could be the Road to Happiness at some point.

*feeds another 2-cents into the meter*

 

[chrisndenv]

I understand your point Alex but I think there might be a bit too much dismissivness being applied to Bryan's chief point. Men are typically not patient with partners and are often focused on their own results.

The race to finish one's own nut has often long legs into one's past (childhood masturbatory games). We aren't trained to be nurturers it's the anti-masculine characteristic and is frankly beat out of many gay and straight.

Gay porn is also about the results. We fast forward through most parts to get the "money shot".

Right, at two partners Bryan's experience is razor thin but not invalid.

I've been guilty of this before and have been on the receiving end as well. I won't be giving up cock, balls and hairy asses anytime soon but I understand the frustration.

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

Wouldn't you be a little frustrated if you weren't getting full pleasure, if you were lef high and dry every time. I don't want to have to race to be the first to have an orgasm, sex should not have to be a competition. Looking back on it, and facing forward I see that as being the case.

Lately I've been shooting down guys left and right because they have only been looking for sex and I've already started to see the patern.

1. Meet guy
2. Start having sex
3. He orgasms
4. sex ends
5. Wash rinse repeat.

I'm sorry but that really messes with your mind and heart. I can't deal with it. I don't have to and I don't want to.

I'll admit that there a sweet caring guys aout there, but I'm getting the colder reponse and I've had it.

 

[tallguypns]

Bryan, it ulitmately comes down to doing what you feel is right for you. Guys can be so selfish and such when it comes to sex. Perhaps before you give up guys forever in perpituity, you should try to have a real genuine relationship with one first. Someone that you care about emotionally and vice versa. I know it doesn't buy anything, but that's my 2 cents.

 

[Matthew]

I agree with that. In a relationship it's both important and possible to have a partner who is interested in your pleasure. When you're tricking or having one-nighters, it's always going to be hit-or-miss. For myself, I'm more interested in the guy I'm with cumming, including when I top (which is mostly). That's a lot of what turns me on. My own orgasm can be handled later.

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

I agree with that. In a relationship it's both important and possible to have a partner who is interested in your pleasure. When you're tricking or having one-nighters, it's always going to be hit-or-miss. For myself, I'm more interested in the guy I'm with cumming, including when I top (which is mostly). That's a lot of what turns me on. My own orgasm can be handled later.

A verry sensible post Mathew. I was thinking this but not seeing this anywhere. I know I can please and it'd be nice to do so with someone worthy of it. True I can always finish the job myself, but what's the point of sex if that's the case? It makes me question too much though, like will my feelings ever count? Does my pleasure mean anything? So far it hasn't. Perhaps I'm just too sensitive to be with anyone, man or woman. Maybe I should just give up entirely. I was already going to do that before, mybe I'm just coming to grips about it now.

 

[B_Stronzo]

I understand your point Alex but I think there might be a bit too much dismissivness being applied to Bryan's chief point. Men are typically not patient with partners and are often focused on their own results.

Then those guys, as alex says are 'schmucks'. Most of the guys I've slept with have been as interested in my sexual completion as their own.

The race to finish one's own nut has often long legs into one's past (childhood masturbatory games). We aren't trained to be nurturers it's the anti-masculine characteristic and is frankly beat out of many gay and straight.

That's schoolboy sex. That's not love making. I think there's a pretty significant difference.

Gay porn is also about the results. We fast forward through most parts to get the "money shot".

I use gay porn primarily for jerking off purposes. My boyfriend and I seldom watch it as a stimulus so I can understand the urge (when I fast forward the boring parts) to get to the "meaty" parts.

Right, at two partners Bryan's experience is razor thin but not invalid.

I don't think it holds much validity and to tell you the truth Bryan's brought up his frustration(s) about dealing with being gay on other threads so I suspect there's lots more wrapped up in his "I've had it up to here" than simply two selfish gay partners.


Bryan: For the love of Christ! Kick those jackasses out of bed and show them the door. Trust me, there is a world of decent, caring gay men out there. I know it. I have one in my life. Take heart.

 

[Lex]

Good points here, especially Matthew, Stronzo and Alex8.

Bryan--I think the key will be finding what YOUR buttons are and demanding that they be pushed. Like, Matthew--I enjoy it most when my BF orgasms as I know that I have brought him pleasure. Over the course of our relationship, I found that him on top cumming on me makes ME cum (almost immediately). So now, its a game of me lasting long enough for him to cum so I can cum even harder.

Finding what your own turn ons are is key. I also found that men older than me are more paitent and willing to share in the mutual pleasure of the experience.

My 10 cents.

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

I understand your point Alex but I think there might be a bit too much dismissivness being applied to Bryan's chief point. Men are typically not patient with partners and are often focused on their own results.

The race to finish one's own nut has often long legs into one's past (childhood masturbatory games). We aren't trained to be nurturers it's the anti-masculine characteristic and is frankly beat out of many gay and straight.

Gay porn is also about the results. We fast forward through most parts to get the "money shot".

Right, at two partners Bryan's experience is razor thin but not invalid.

I've been guilty of this before and have been on the receiving end as well. I won't be giving up cock, balls and hairy asses anytime soon but I understand the frustration.

How did I miss this one before? This is what I was trying to say give or take a few words. The only way I can find hapiness with another guy is if We both can nurture each other, I find it harder and harder to believe, and being a guy I already know it's rare and hard pressed to find. The faking, the lying, the need to do whatever it takes to get mine, I'm tired of finding guys like that, but those are the traits of so many guys. Maybe it would do me some good just to sit and think.

 

[GuyanaPrince]

Welcome back to the fold, Bryan Lyte. Enough sea food to go around, I think. :wink:

 

[B_Stronzo]

ugh

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

Welcome back to the fold, Bryan Lyte. Enough sea food to go around, I think. :wink:

Shhh....I'm thinking.

 

[Chuck64]

For those of you just joining us, here's the bullet points:

Bryan is dissatisfied with the two gay experiences he's had.
Neither one has allowed him to finish.
Both have been hookups, one-nighters, etc. - not relationships
Bryan says he wants to give up on men.
Bryan is really looking for a relationship.
Bryan needs to date, not hookup - and that means he shouldn't put out until he has an emotional connection to the man he's dating.

 

[GuyanaPrince]

If things get desperate, I'll break you off a piece. If that don't make you str8 as an arrow, nothing will. :scared2:

 

[Bryan_Lyte2]

For those of you just joining us, here's the bullet points:

Bryan is dissatisfied with the two gay experiences he's had.
Neither one has allowed him to finish.
Both have been hookups, one-nighters, etc. - not relationships
Bryan says he wants to give up on men.
Bryan is really looking for a relationship.
Bryan needs to date, not hookup - and that means he shouldn't put out until he has an emotional connection to the man he's dating.

You punk! you make me sound like a reformed whore.

 

[Chuck64]

That wasn't my intention... I'm just saying you need to make a serious connection to the guy before you bring them home. Obviously, in their mind, they were only interested in getting off - and you were just there to facilitate the act, not to participate as an equal. I know you can read people better than that. You know when you've really connected.