I've just been called Evil!!!

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by mjtb1981, Aug 24, 2007.

  1. mjtb1981

    mjtb1981 Member

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    I was chatting to an old friend a moment ago and he asked about my boyfriend (not chatted to him in about two years and he thought I was still with em!) but we split up not long after I last saw him!

    Anyway I told him what happened between us:

    I caught him cheating on me with a GIRL who was 15 and in my bed in our flat! We had a fight and he threw a plate at my head and about knocked me out. He apologised for about an hour and I made my mind up then and there to leave him.

    So I pretended everything was ok, I made him breakfast in bed, ironed his work clothes, drove him to work (which was 6 miles away) and went home where I proceded to pack everything I own in my car and moved! I mean everything, the bed, the fridge, the food, the light bulbs, everything. I turned the heating off (to save him money o course lol) Took about 6 trips from our flat to my parents where I stored everything in the garage. I turned my mobile off and put my parents phone on the hook and ignored him, he walked home all 6 miles after waiting in the rain for an hour and a half for me to pick him up and came home to a cold dark empty flat where he had no food (as I always did the shopping) except a box of cornflakes and had to sleep on the floor.

    I wasn't proud of what I did i guess but as far as I'm concerned he deserved it!

    Am I evil?
     
  2. huw ginnit

    huw ginnit New Member

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    Self preservation, nothing more nothing less.

    I actually had to do something similar.

    When you're in a relationship you think is working only to find out your so-called partner is stringing you along, lying to you, and physically hurting you they can't be entirely surprised when you feel the need to do something along these lines....I know the grown up thing to do is be responsible and sensible but your hurting....

    He might not have deserved it; he might have, but what you did (and myself for that matter) was for YOU and not him.

    I know I could never trust him again, I knew I couldn't be around him. I made sure there was no reason to do either, for the time it took for me to get in touch with myself, my feelings and the way I wanted things to progress.

    No you are not evil. You are a fairly normal person. and hopefully he learnt a small lesson in all this even if that was not to be so dependent
     
  3. Hockeytiger

    Hockeytiger Active Member

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    No you are not. Those feelings of doubt and guilt are perfectly normal, but you made the correct decision. He cheated (not sure what the big deal is that she was female) with a minor, and physically attacked you. Either is appropriate grounds to break up. (More like mandatory grounds IMO)

    It may seem like the method you used was cowardly, but it was the right way, and took a great deal of courage to pull off. He already used force against you, potentially lethal force at that. Every person has a societal obligation to avoid physical conflict if they can avoid it. Perhaps you did him a favor, he could have attacked again you in a way that very well could land him in prison. Your thinking may have saved him some jail time, as well as, saved yourself injury, or worse.

    Again, the guilt you feel is a normal part of being human. Unfortunately, we can't just turn off our feelings at will, even when we have adequate justification. Those feelings will linger for some time, but don't let them persuade you into seeing him again. The fact that he had nothing of his own is his problem. The fact that he had to sleep in an empty flat is a great metaphor for how empty his life really is.
     
  4. rich-9.8

    rich-9.8 New Member

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    Hell no that isn't evil, that's a very proportionate response and a lot less vindictive than most other ways of elaving someone. After all, the only thing you did was remove yourself and your things from his life, nothing to hurt him worse than that.

    Don't feel guilty - what you did was the right thing and actually a very mature response in my opinion.
     
  5. Kenyth

    Kenyth New Member

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    No not evil at all. A very civil approach to resolve the matter I think, since he seems to be very aggresive (throwing plates and all)

    well done
     
  6. invisibleman

    Gold Member

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    EVIL? I dunno. :rolleyes:

    He REALLY pissed you off. I think it was the plate and then the cheating girl revelation. I think that you had the hate directed in the right place though.

    You didn't expect to come home to find your boyfriend fucking a fifteen year old girl in your bed. Some men (as are some women) are prone to cheating.

    (I think that I have you beat on evil. I am really ashamed to admit what I did. But, let's JUST say at the time it happened--it REALLY felt good.) Which really made me reconsider EVER dating again. I don't trust men after what my ex did to me. THAT REALLY PISSED ME OFF.
     
  7. leenyc97

    leenyc97 Member

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    I did something similar when I ended a relationship. I was putting away laundry one day (his and mine) and found a hypodermic needle in his sock drawer. It ws not hidden, just right there in the front of the drawer. I took the needle, broke the point and droppped it down the garbage shoot. I left for work and when I came home he was not around.

    The next day, no sign of him. I was getting ready for work and could not find my watch. (a rolex, gold and stainless steel). I wore a different watch and did not think too much about it.

    When I returned from work, I started looking around for my watch. In doing so, I discovered that all my camera equipment was gone, just an empty camera bag was left, and there still was no sign of my watch. No sign of him either, though I could tell that he had been there.

    He finally called and wanted to know what I did with his needle. I told him what I did with it and asked where my stuff was. He said he took my $4000 watch and camera equipment because I took the needle that he used to shoot drugs. He told me that he thought he could get some of my stuff back, because the drug dealer would propably be willing to sell it back to me for a fair price. I lead him to believe that everything would be fine if I could get my stuff back.

    I proceeded to pack all his belongings and when he came home there was a pile of luggage and a one way ticket to his home town.

    I had no idea that he did hard drugs like crystal and something called speed balls, although I knew that a few of his friends were scum. (One fo whom is serving a life sentence for 1st degree murder and insurance fraud, Dr. Richard Boggs)

    He was stunned that I was kicking him out. I asked if he needed a ride to the airport.
     
  8. AlteredEgo

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    100% true! This man abused you in multiple ways. He knocked you out, for fucks sake! No, I say he got off lightly.
     
  9. huw ginnit

    huw ginnit New Member

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    ...evil is cleaning the toilet with their toothbrush, and then pputting it back in the holder....that's evil! ( and that worked for me one time too- )

    p.s I aint psycho- I just invest a lot in my relationships! Hurt me, but only the once!
     
  10. SpoiledPrincess

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    I think you acted in a very restrained manner, I'd have waited till he was asleep and superglued his cock to his leg.
     
  11. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    That is far from evil. Evil is cutting his cock off in his sleep... and throwing it in the garbage chute.
     
  12. mjtb1981

    mjtb1981 Member

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    Lol brilliant! Even better do that and then show him some hot porn!!!!!!
     
  13. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    :biggrin1: :biggrin1: :biggrin1:

    I think you did the right thing.
     
  14. yhtang

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    mattbarradell

    I think you did the right thing. Not only that, I think you were couragous and decisive to make a clean cut there and then.

    I feel your move had made it very clear you do not wish to continue on with the relastionship. I applaude you.
     
  15. Principessa

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    You are not evil. I think you did the correct thing. :smile:
     
  16. SyddyKitty

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    That's not the least bit evil and I can say I would do the sasme, in that situation. ESPECIALLY with the plate being thrown. If it happens once, it can happen again.
     
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