1. Welcome To LPSG
    Welcome to LPSG.com. If you are here because you are looking for the most amazing open-minded fun-spirited sexy adult community then you have found the right place. We also happen to have some of the sexiest members you'll ever meet. Signup below and come join us.


I've seen it all now

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by AZNEWGUY, Apr 11, 2010.

  1. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Well its official, a buddy of mine who as of late last year fucked, kissed, had relationships, and vacations with other men has a girlfriend. Now he doesn't communicate with me at all since I know so much about him. We were very close friends, best friends, now he is scared I might say something to his new girlfriend. I guess its the right thing for him to do since I wouldn't be able to look into her eyes knowing what he has done. I know sexuality has gray areas, just don't think its fair that I'm out of his life :(
     
  2. B_RedDude

    B_RedDude Banned

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2007
    Posts:
    1,931
    Likes Received:
    31
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    How old is this guy? Why do you think he changed up (or down)
     
  3. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Honestly I can't blame him. He is 38 and probably feels he needs to get his life together. He always said he wouldn't be in a relationship with a guy and I'm sure the pressure of the family is getting to him (they don't know about his bisexuality) . He is the only sibling that isn't married. I think he blocked me out of his life cause I remind him of that bi lifestyle. This will be the third time I know of that he is going cold turkey on guys, but I think this is serious this time around. We were friends for 10 years now he wants nothing to do with me. Out only contact is facebook every once in a while.
     
  4. dolfette

    dolfette Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Posts:
    11,312
    Likes Received:
    88
    it sucks that he's cutting you out.
    maybe you could message him & let him know that you've no intention of trying to tempt him away or spill the beans to his new girl, that as his friend you only want to see him happy?
     
  5. naturistMale

    naturistMale Experimental Member

    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2010
    Posts:
    287
    Likes Received:
    14
    ******************************

    "only want to see him happy" perfect !

    i just hope he's not going to get married because of Family pressure.
    that's so un-fair to the girl . I would think you are better off with someone that has more character and is grounded as a Man (Bi or total Out).
     
  6. B_Drake9

    B_Drake9 Banned

    Joined:
    Apr 9, 2010
    Posts:
    65
    Likes Received:
    1
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    in my house
    That's just messed up....
     
  7. NY4Curious

    NY4Curious Experimental Member

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2009
    Posts:
    140
    Likes Received:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York City
    Anyone who has ever had insecure bisexual friends, usually from very conservative families has found themselves in your situation. I know, I've been there several times myself. I consider these people (both men and women) to be cowardly and weak, and it's really not worth investing any friendship in them.

    I know that doesn't ever stop the isolation and hurt you feel at the moment, but you need to understand he abandoned you because he couldn't deal with the fact you are being honest with yourself and he is not.

    I look at it this way, a person who deceives themselves will never find happiness and time wounds all heels. You deserve a better friend than he is.
     
  8. lopo2000

    lopo2000 Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Posts:
    1,518
    Likes Received:
    32
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Malaysia
    I have one friend who actually has pre-warned me that in 5 years, he's gonna stop having relationship with guys and start having "real" life with a girl, because he believes that life as a gay is not real and can never go beyond sex, although some relationships can work, that is if the relationships are of 2 hunky gorgeous men, or at least one. When I thought about it, it's kinda true because all gays, at least in my life, that are successful in relationship are the ones with the looks or body, or money. I have 2 average looking gay friends, who don't have the money and look, though they're great in personality (they're my best friends), no other gays have wanted them to spend the rest of their life with. I used to think, wow, how superficial this all feels.

    Ok, I'm being irrelevant here. My point is, now I see my friend has already planned of leaving gay life in his 30's, it made me think, with this gay-bashing environment, perhaps it's just better to just "train" yourself to want women as your partners... So, when he'd decide that it's time, maybe he'll cut me off too. I'm afraid for it to happen because he's one of my good friends...

    I don't know... It's complicated...

    p/s: sadly, I'm one of those who keep getting eyes caught to people who are very appealing. Though most people I fell in love with are very average in looking.
     
  9. lopo2000

    lopo2000 Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Jul 9, 2007
    Posts:
    1,518
    Likes Received:
    32
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Malaysia
    But abandoning the friendships (I don't know if I want to use the word "abandon", maybe "avoiding" the friendships due to not knowing what to do at that moment) might be caused by a lot of reasons. Perhaps he is just scared that things might be ruined by his friendships with other gays that others might find out that he's also having things and stuffs with other men, which might jeopardize everything and give pain and hurt to his families and all.

    And not being honest with ourselves is also more than meets the eyes you know. It's more complicated than wanting to be honest with ourselves. This is a world that likes to condemn the minority that we're talking about. It's complicated.
     
  10. dolfette

    dolfette Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Posts:
    11,312
    Likes Received:
    88
    if he loves her deeply then it might just be the simple fear of losing her over something that, if he's in a monogomous relationship, doesn't really matter anymore.
     
  11. txquis

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2003
    Posts:
    1,694
    Likes Received:
    44
    Gender:
    Male
    This is much more common than people think. I have known a couple of guys (one just a friend, and one an ex) who married women, and had kids, and buried their past somewhere. It sucks.
     
  12. Symphonic

    Symphonic Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2008
    Posts:
    1,740
    Likes Received:
    86
    Gender:
    Male
    Happens to the worst of us.
     
  13. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Posts:
    4,909
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    And since a lot of people in the straight world find homosexuality disgusting, perhaps that is the reason for the barrier. I can understand that the relationship with the hetro couple is now sealed off and the man doesn't want his lady to find out about his past.
     
  14. dolfette

    dolfette Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Posts:
    11,312
    Likes Received:
    88
    i'm sure it happens the other way around too.
    guy meets guy but doesn't want guy finding out about his girl filled past.

    lots of people, both straight and gay, are very suspicious of us bisexuals. there's a perception that we can't do monogamy and will use our sexuality as an excuse to cheat.
     
  15. conntom

    conntom Expert Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Posts:
    2,171
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    243
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston (MA, US)
    It isn;t just about the disgusting thing you mentioned.

    Consider this:

    Gays and bisex are more likely to be exposed to AIDS... (might freak out the girl)

    And

    She can't compete with equipment she doesn;t have and not feel secure in the relationship - so he doesn;t want her to know.
     
  16. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Thanks for all of your opinions on this. It just really hurts, I truly value friendship and my family and I have done so much for this guy. He had NO friends at one point and I introduced him to all of my family and friends which enriched his life.
    This is how I feel about the situation, I just have to accept the situation. I've known him for 10 years, he knows I won't out him or say anything to his new girlfriend. It just truly bothers me that anything that has to do with that part of his passed is tucked away. I tried calling him, texting him, emailing him. 80 percent of the time, he won't respond. It just seems like he is slowly trying to get rid of me. Only time I hear from him are holidays and brithdays now.
     
    #16 AZNEWGUY, Apr 11, 2010
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2010
  17. dolfette

    dolfette Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Posts:
    11,312
    Likes Received:
    88
    that is so unfair on you when you've really invested in his friendship.
     
  18. BigDallasDick8x6

    BigDallasDick8x6 Loved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2006
    Posts:
    3,885
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX (North Oak Cliff)
    Me too.
     
  19. BigDallasDick8x6

    BigDallasDick8x6 Loved Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2006
    Posts:
    3,885
    Albums:
    3
    Likes Received:
    674
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Dallas TX (North Oak Cliff)
    Somebody correct me if I'm wrong, but AIDS has been affecting many millions more heterosexuals than gays for many years now.

    I do agree with the second point -- You can't compete with equipment you don't have and that carries a lot of weight in relationships.
     
  20. killerb

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2007
    Posts:
    2,093
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    193
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    USA
    Verified:
    Photo
    i know exactly how you feel - i have a friend who is secretly gay but is in a relationship with a woman...i think that i'm the only one he's told about the men he's been with, and yes he has had relationships with men, not just sex...he is also the only unmarried sibling and he has told me that he just wanted all of the questions to stop...clearly he's only stringing this girl along so he appears to be straight to his family...and since they've gotten together, he hasn't been the same friend to me that he was in the past...i don't know what his reasons for that are and i don't care...all i know is that if he had been a true friend, he would never treat me differently...

    my solution was to call him on it & to distance myself from him...i told him that i'm still his friend, but i won't be treated as if i've done something wrong when i haven't...so we don't hang out anymore & only communicate by text or email at times...sometimes he will call, but i never call him...

    it's sad that people sometimes choose to try to live their lives to please others...it never works...eventually they all learn the hard way...
     
  21. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    Thats exactly what I'm going through. Like I said before, I'm ready to let him go. It really bothers the shit out of me though. His birthday passed last monday and I have yet to see him to celebrate. People suck :). I just hope this thing is Genuine
     
  22. conntom

    conntom Expert Member

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2008
    Posts:
    2,171
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    243
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Boston (MA, US)
    This kinda thing happens all the time - gayness removed.

    How many times have you see a friend disappear when they get into a new relationship.

    You've all known stories of a group of friends that drops off one by one as they get married.

    The new life takes hold and grows and suddenly theres no room for the old friendships. Happens all the time even when the gay issue here isn;t at play.

    No one likes it. All of us feel left behind when it happens to us but we move on. I understand you feel a bit jilted but it part of hetero life too.

    This is an opportunity to meet new people and have some new experiences. Go skydiving!
     
  23. houtx48

    houtx48 Expert Member

    Joined:
    Sep 13, 2006
    Posts:
    6,918
    Likes Received:
    201
    Gender:
    Male
    I do agree with the second point -- You can't compete with equipment you don't have and that carries a lot of weight in relationships...............yeah just as soon as I find a woman with a 10'' dick and a hairy chest I'll marry her.
     
  24. 220483

    220483 Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2008
    Posts:
    1,310
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    in a far off place!
    you can always use dildos with your wife... so the equipment part is solved... but if you're talking about that inner feeling a man can give, while his hairy chess scrubs against you, and the sweat drips while he pouncs you.. well, there's no dildo that can solve that for you.. :p
     
  25. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Posts:
    4,909
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    Since I was married more gay men dumped me even as friends....ah well...
     
  26. Satsfakshun

    Satsfakshun Sexy Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2004
    Posts:
    847
    Likes Received:
    33
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Indianapolis, IN
    I fell kinda hard for a guy I knew I couldn't keep. He was from a strict Catholic family. He had one brother who was the jock and extrovert. This guy was in an car crash and became a quadraplegic. My guy decided not only to give up men, but to get married, join the Army and have kids so his folks could have grandchildren. I told him that I hoped it would work for him.
     
  27. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    It truly makes you wonder how many guys out there are in this situtation. I'm always complaining how the guys where I live are either married or have girlfriends. That has to be frustrating living a life like that
     
  28. THEDUDEofDestiny

    THEDUDEofDestiny Experimental Member

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2008
    Posts:
    1,228
    Likes Received:
    16
    dude sounds a like douchebag. fuck him
     
  29. AZNEWGUY

    Gold Member Verified

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2009
    Posts:
    235
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    28
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Gilbert (AZ, US)
    Verified:
    Photo
    I do have one more question and its to the women in this forum. Its probably been asked before, but too lazy to search. How would you feel if your husband suddenly says he is bisexual ? Would you stay with him ?
     
  30. ZOS23xy

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 22, 2007
    Posts:
    4,909
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    20
    Location:
    directly above the center of the earth
    My wife knew of my bisexuality before we even met, so it wasn't a problem with her. Her bisexuality never bothered me either.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice