Thats exactly what I'm going through. Like I said before, I'm ready to let him go. It really bothers the shit out of me though. His birthday passed last monday and I have yet to see him to celebrate. People suck
. I just hope this thing is Genuine
I've seen it all now
- Thread starter AZNEWGUY
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Thats exactly what I'm going through. Like I said before, I'm ready to let him go. It really bothers the shit out of me though. His birthday passed last monday and I have yet to see him to celebrate. People suck
. I just hope this thing is Genuine
This kinda thing happens all the time - gayness removed.
How many times have you see a friend disappear when they get into a new relationship.
You've all known stories of a group of friends that drops off one by one as they get married.
The new life takes hold and grows and suddenly theres no room for the old friendships. Happens all the time even when the gay issue here isn;t at play.
No one likes it. All of us feel left behind when it happens to us but we move on. I understand you feel a bit jilted but it part of hetero life too.
This is an opportunity to meet new people and have some new experiences. Go skydiving!
How many times have you see a friend disappear when they get into a new relationship.
You've all known stories of a group of friends that drops off one by one as they get married.
The new life takes hold and grows and suddenly theres no room for the old friendships. Happens all the time even when the gay issue here isn;t at play.
No one likes it. All of us feel left behind when it happens to us but we move on. I understand you feel a bit jilted but it part of hetero life too.
This is an opportunity to meet new people and have some new experiences. Go skydiving!
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you can always use dildos with your wife... so the equipment part is solved... but if you're talking about that inner feeling a man can give, while his hairy chess scrubs against you, and the sweat drips while he pouncs you.. well, there's no dildo that can solve that for you..
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I fell kinda hard for a guy I knew I couldn't keep. He was from a strict Catholic family. He had one brother who was the jock and extrovert. This guy was in an car crash and became a quadraplegic. My guy decided not only to give up men, but to get married, join the Army and have kids so his folks could have grandchildren. I told him that I hoped it would work for him.
It truly makes you wonder how many guys out there are in this situtation. I'm always complaining how the guys where I live are either married or have girlfriends. That has to be frustrating living a life like that
THEDUDEofDestiny
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D_Vladimir Jurkov
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Has this point been totally skipped over? I wanted to say this myself before seeing it already posted. It's just expected out of life and there is a level of immaturity to complaining about it, especially saying that it isn't fair. Don't get me wrong, it's happened to me with girl and guy friends and I got looked down upon for being the only one to not "get" it. Put yourself in his shoes and imagine finding someone new to share your life with. There's only so much time in the day and only so many days in a week. It's called moving on and it happens to just about everyone.
I had a friend do this. He moved away from our hometown, came out of the closet, painted his car pink and was very vocal about his new lifestyle. After about 7 years, he changed his FaceBook status, changed his photos, which now imply that he's straight, and now when I converse with him, he acts like he's straight. His jokes imply that he's heterosexual. He seems to be dating women. I haven't confronted him about it because I'd rather let him tell me when he's ready whatever is going on with him.
Hey I get your point, and I already said I have accepted it. I just wanted to see other peoples opinions and experience with this. I just find it amusing how certain feelings can be switched off like that. I had many friends who are got married, girlfriends etc and now I get a hi here and there. I understand the concept of moving on. This just happened a few days ago and it just surprised me a little. I know by next week I'll be cool again. I've gone through worse things in my life
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titan1968
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I understand what you're going through. You've invested a lot in this relationship, and now you feel betrayed. You're hurting, and it's normal. I experienced this with a guy a few years ago. I was a mess after that. Even today I still think of him and 'how it could have been', and it hurts.... I hope you'll be able to bring some closure. All the best to you.
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this is a bit different than your friend meeting someone new and spending lots of time with them...that's to be expected.
what presents a problem is when your supposed friend suddenly acts as if you no longer exist...
This seems to be a common experience for guy friends. When guys get married they pretty much have to make a choice about who they want to love and where they want to put their energy. I've only had one close friend cut me off so far, and the reason he did it was because his wife felt jealous of all of his friends. He even texts me saying he's sorry once in a while. I do understand where he's coming from but at the same time I think he's a coward for not standing up to her. I guess this is what it means to be pussy-whipped.
In answer to an earlier question, I would not knowingly date a bisexual. If I were married to one, I would be quite nervous once he decided to come out of the closet with me.
One of the problems in my (failed) marriage was having to experience the one upmanship that comes when a husband gets too chummy with the ladies. Even women who started off as my friend became dismissive of me once my husband started dominating the calls, encouraging them to call him at work, not deferring to me. I had become a stepping stone. And I have the feeling he liked watching it. And yes, I did tell him that I was not happy about it and asked him to stop. (for those who actually think that open honest dialogue is productive)
These days, as soon as someone tells me that they've seen my ex somewhere or more, they are immediately cut out of my life. I can't tell others how to live their life. But also, they can't tell me as well.
To the the original poster, I think I understand what ex friend is thinking. It's not a lot of fun having to trust other people. You now have something over his head. He's minimising risk. Imagine if your friend had the GALL, the NERVE to tell you what not to talk about with his gf. You would be right here complaining about that.
I can't tell other people what to do or how to live their life. Why would anyone think this rule doesn't apply to them?
One of the problems in my (failed) marriage was having to experience the one upmanship that comes when a husband gets too chummy with the ladies. Even women who started off as my friend became dismissive of me once my husband started dominating the calls, encouraging them to call him at work, not deferring to me. I had become a stepping stone. And I have the feeling he liked watching it. And yes, I did tell him that I was not happy about it and asked him to stop. (for those who actually think that open honest dialogue is productive)
These days, as soon as someone tells me that they've seen my ex somewhere or more, they are immediately cut out of my life. I can't tell others how to live their life. But also, they can't tell me as well.
To the the original poster, I think I understand what ex friend is thinking. It's not a lot of fun having to trust other people. You now have something over his head. He's minimising risk. Imagine if your friend had the GALL, the NERVE to tell you what not to talk about with his gf. You would be right here complaining about that.
I can't tell other people what to do or how to live their life. Why would anyone think this rule doesn't apply to them?
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To me, there are two topics being discussed in this thread: (1) Men who move from gay to straight to seem more "normal" and (2) partners who need to understand that "spouse" or "significant other" or "life partner" doesn't mean "my only friend."
NCbear (who's never going to be in the first group and who's had several discussions with others about the second group)
NCbear (who's never going to be in the first group and who's had several discussions with others about the second group
)sounds like a trust issue. have the two of you had any breachs in the past? I would recommend letting him know you are a true friend who unconditionally supports his decisions and that he friendship is important to you. Do you think he is less communicative because he is in the throws of a new relationship?
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The relationship is still very new, but he's been somewhat avoiding me for 2 years now. It seems like a transition phase he was going through. He made a decision and went for it, which involved cutting parts of his life. Actually I'm not the only one he cut off, he ditched all of our mutual friends.
Believe me, I never said anything to anyone (except here of course, but you don't know him ). I think he is a bit nervous because I know his whole family. 10 years with that knowledge and meeting all of his family makes me believe he trusted me. He just doesn't want to take a chance to be lure back into the bisexual life. Everytime it was just us, he wanted to go out and find guys. Hey like I said before, I've accepted his decision and can't blame him. I remember him telling me after he had sex with a guy, he would feel guilty, yet he will be the one going home with a guy in less than 10 minutes. He always had issues with his bisexuality which is why I expected this to happen. As long as he is happy, I hope it works out.
When I posted this thread, I just wanted to see what other people think about this situation. Yeah I'm bummed about the lack of his friendship but I know I will get over it. Its more on how someone would be so pressured to be straight when their past consist pretty much a homosexual lifestyle. Without getting into details, lets just say, its hard for me to imagine him with a girl. Hey, she may be the one girl he actually fell truly in love with and made him forget about guys. Lets face it, bisexual men are still not praised in this society, its easier just to live the straight life.
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