Jack This Thread

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by Matthew, Oct 14, 2005.

  1. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    There are very severe rules for posting on this thread.

    1) You may not deviate from THE TOPIC.

    2) Your spelling, grammar and personal hygiene must be *FLAWLESS*.

    3) You must have a penis no less than 13.5" long or have a troll account featuring such a person. Or think you know someone who does.

    4) If Large Penises are raised, you must support them.

    Extra points will be awarded for:

    a) Each obsessive response. Remember, the competition is STIFF

    b) Successfully selling your product without being detected.

    c) True stories of webstalking semi-celebrities.

    d) Other things.

    Note: Each post on this thread will shift your sexual orientation +1% gay.
     
  2. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1
    so how about those Yankees. didn't Yankee Doodle go to town riding on a pony. i've always wanted a pony; but, i'll settle for a horse. horses smell horrible, though. though rhymes with Dough.
     
  3. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2002
    Messages:
    83,922
    Likes Received:
    34
    When it was finally removed and examined, Ted Bundy's brain looked like anyone else's.
     
  4. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    Include two more rules and you'll lots of activity:

    (5) You must fabricate a whole new persona when the ones you've used for years get exposed for being frauds.

    (6) Post 1000s of messages here and be as cynical and snarky to new posters as possible.
     
  5. B_HappyHammer1977

    B_HappyHammer1977 New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2005
    Messages:
    812
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Kent, UK
    ...but with each stroke, it just kept getting harder and harder. The more I tried, the deeper I was in. Before I knew it, I had a ball lodged in and there was nothing I could do about it. In the end I just had to accept a drop ball. Damn those bunkers!
     
  6. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2004
    Messages:
    2,283
    Likes Received:
    1
    I just had pumpkin and chocolate chip pancakes that looked like spiderwebs. They were pretty cute.
     
  7. B_Hung Muscle

    B_Hung Muscle New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2004
    Messages:
    3,174
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    NYC but never stop traveling
    Hammer, you're wacked, man. I'm gonna use that again.
     
  8. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    And, by the way, that's "Jack" as in "Hijack" or "Carjack".

    However, a little manual stimulation is always warmly welcomed.
     
  9. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1
    I have a young woman held hostage in my basement. Pick a number between 1 and 5; pick the right number and she'll live, the wrong number and she'll die.
     
  10. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California

    mmmmm ... pancakes.
     
  11. madame_zora

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    10,252
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    Ohio

    Four!
     
  12. Lex

    Lex
    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2004
    Messages:
    9,536
    Likes Received:
    16
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    In Your Darkest Thoughts and Dreams
    Here's somethin playaz gona find, not at all funny
    We takin all ya bitches,
    Takin all ya money!!

    Jay-Z rated A.G. baby
    that's All Good
    I'll sink this ball in your hole,
    I'm Tiger Woods!!

    If the money was the grass
    And your ass was tee
    When I hit it with this club love
    You comin with me!!

    Grip you right up under your ass,
    Put your back on the wall
    Kinda tipsy,
    seein' triple,
    so I'm fuckin ya ALL!!!
     
  13. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York

    Four!
    [post=351756]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/b][/quote]

    She was a wonderful women.....to bad she's dead now.....thanks M_Z.......
     
  14. D_Barbi_Queue

    D_Barbi_Queue Account Disabled

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2004
    Messages:
    2,283
    Likes Received:
    1
    Sounds like Silence of the Lambs - are you gonna make a suit from her skin now?
     
  15. Alley Blue

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 1, 2005
    Messages:
    1,238
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    New York
    And eat her liver with Fava beans.....
     
  16. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California
    mmmmm ... fava beans
     
  17. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1
    MMMUUUHAHAHAHA.....THE CORRECT NUMBER WAS 3.999998

    Now she must DIE!!!

    And yes, I will eat her liver with fava beans. and a diet coke.

    Too bad Clarice Starling isn't here....mmmuuuhahaha
     
  18. GoneA

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2005
    Messages:
    5,176
    Likes Received:
    1

    No, b/c I'm sure PETA will complain about that too.

    **shakes head and sucks teeth in disgust**
     
  19. dlcs

    dlcs New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2005
    Messages:
    464
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Sector ZZ9, Plural Z Alpha
    I always thought it was supposed to be sugar-free lemonade with human liver and fava beans. Did someone screw with my recipe book?

    Oh. I have "Atkins For Cannibals." My bad.
     
  20. Matthew

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2005
    Messages:
    8,374
    Likes Received:
    163
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    California

    Don't be so sure ... I heard she has a Large Penis

    Mmmuuuhahaha!!!!
    No, b/c I'm sure PETA will complain about that too.
    [post=351909]Quoted post[/post]​
    [/quote]
    PetA ... your cousin?
     
Draft saved Draft deleted