Japanese Male Prostitute Interview

wallyj84

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A porn star interviews a male prostitute. That sounds like the start of a really messed up joke, but it actually happened in the below video.


What do you guys think of the interview? I find it very interesting and kind of sad. Women are seeking intimacy that they don't get home, but the intimacy they're getting is fake. It just seems so sad.
 
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ItsAll4Kim

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The sadness is in the people already...they are lonely or lacking. The prostitution itself isn't necessarily the only sad aspect for the clients. For the workers, it's a job, a very difficult one to deal with emotionally, and physically.

I feel blessed that I have never had the slightest desire to employ a prostitute. Sex is meaningless without an emotional connection.
 
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shard38

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The sadness is in the people already...they are lonely or lacking. The prostitution itself isn't necessarily the only sad aspect for the clients. For the workers, it's a job, a very difficult one to deal with emotionally, and physically.

I feel blessed that I have never had the slightest desire to employ a prostitute. Sex is meaningless without an emotional connection.

I wouldn’t say meaningless. I hate eating alone and enjoy cooking, good restaurants and good company. And sometimes when I’m alone I just order in a very greasy shawarma dish to feast on.

Also never considered paying for sex because it’s seems to be so easily available for free. Just go to a bar or go online and within 20 minutes you’ll find someone willing to go with you. Guess it’s not the same for everybody.
 

wallyj84

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I wouldn’t say meaningless. I hate eating alone and enjoy cooking, good restaurants and good company. And sometimes when I’m alone I just order in a very greasy shawarma dish to feast on.

Also never considered paying for sex because it’s seems to be so easily available for free. Just go to a bar or go online and within 20 minutes you’ll find someone willing to go with you. Guess it’s not the same for everybody.

Not to sound like an incel, but the only way a straight man can go online and get laid within 20 minutes is by using a prostitute.


The sadness is in the people already...they are lonely or lacking. The prostitution itself isn't necessarily the only sad aspect for the clients. For the workers, it's a job, a very difficult one to deal with emotionally, and physically.

I feel blessed that I have never had the slightest desire to employ a prostitute. Sex is meaningless without an emotional connection.

Their lives are of course sad overall.

One thing I noticed about the male prostitute is that he appears to have trouble forming a normal romantic connection with non-clients. He seems think the women get paranoid and jealous, but I wonder if it isn't something more.
 
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shard38

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Not to sound like an incel, but the only way a straight man can go online and get laid within 20 minutes is by using a prostitute.

Not really. Of course it’s far more common with gay men, but there are quite a few cruising areas or clubs where you will find straight women as well.
 

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Not really. Of course it’s far more common with gay men, but there are quite a few cruising areas or clubs where you will find straight women as well.

I'm not saying that it is impossible to find sex partners as a straight man, but it does require a bit more work and prep than you're giving it credit for and definitely way more difficult than picking up men from my experience. But that isn't really the point of the thread.
 

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I wouldn’t say meaningless. I hate eating alone and enjoy cooking, good restaurants and good company. And sometimes when I’m alone I just order in a very greasy shawarma dish to feast on.

Also never considered paying for sex because it’s seems to be so easily available for free. Just go to a bar or go online and within 20 minutes you’ll find someone willing to go with you. Guess it’s not the same for everybody.
I'm not sure I follow what you're saying, the food analogy isn't clicking here. For me, if I don't have love for the person, sex isn't happening. I've always been this way. That doesn't imply I haven't fallen quite quickly for a woman. But if not, no sex for me, and no loss either. Sex without love is about as lonely a thing as I can imagine. If all I need is to get off, I'm quite fine masturbating.
 

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One thing I noticed about the male prostitute is that he appears to have trouble forming a normal romantic connection with non-clients. He seems think the women get paranoid and jealous, but I wonder if it isn't something more.

I doubt that's unusual for sex workers. Porn actors also have trouble with relationships. There aren't all that many people who can deal with someone doing others on the regular. A nudist friend is a retired dominatrix. She made good money for a lot of years, but the job so skewed her perception of a relationship that she retired and needed extensive counseling to get straightened out. It worked and she has a great marriage to a really cool guy. But she said that having a partner during her dom days was nearly impossible.
 

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Sex without love is about as lonely a thing as I can imagine. If all I need is to get off, I'm quite fine masturbating.

I agree that emotionless sex isn't great.

I strongly disagree about the loneliest part though.

Male masturbation is one of the loneliest, dullest, means-to-an-end, only-doing-cause-I-can't-get-a-partner activities in existence.

The sex is still with a partner, even if there is an emotional disconnect. Not to mention, hands pale in comparison to vagina (or a well practiced mouth) from a sensation standpoint.
 

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So organized. So Japanese, lol. It's like a gender reversal of the geisha tradition there.

Why do you say the intimacy is fake? What would make it real in your opinion? That's a rhetorical question btw. I already know your answer: a traditional exclusive relationship between two people. A couple. The way it aught to be, lol.

The problem with that as the young female client demonstrates is that her needs are not met by her boyfriend(s). A hired lover trained in the art does such a better job that she will continue to pay him even if her boyfriend finds out and dumps her. That's how valuable the experience is for her, how strong her unmet need is.

That was my experience. Thirty years ago as a young MT I developed a clientele at a spa most of whom continued to see me after the spa closed. I massaged them at my place or traveled to theirs. A small number of them became sensual massage customers and almost all were women. I had learned tantric massage and offered it only to clients who inquired about it. For all intents I became a sex worker to them though I saw it as sex therapy or intimacy therapy.

Some were married, some had boyfriends and some were single and dating or too busy to date. All were missing the physical and emotional intimacy exactly as expressed by the young woman in this video. Sometimes they just needed to be held, consoled and reminded their bodies were beautiful. Most were once a week types but some saw me multiple times a week. Though orgasm isn't the goal of tantric sex my clients frequently had multiples and we almost always ended up coupling. Word of mouth brought me more customers.

Two things strike me most about the young woman who hired the male prostitute in this video. The first is the importance of foreplay to her--which my clients complained they never got enough from their men. The second is the young woman's claim that she loves her male prostitute. Without exception all my long term sensual customers told me they loved me.

Okay let the moralizing begin.:cool:
 

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I doubt that's unusual for sex workers. Porn actors also have trouble with relationships. There aren't all that many people who can deal with someone doing others on the regular. A nudist friend is a retired dominatrix. She made good money for a lot of years, but the job so skewed her perception of a relationship that she retired and needed extensive counseling to get straightened out. It worked and she has a great marriage to a really cool guy. But she said that having a partner during her dom days was nearly impossible.

I'm not at all surprised by that. In what ways did it skew her views on relationships and men?

I have heard that strippers tend to view all men as tricks and become users. Is it similar for sex workers?
 

wallyj84

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So organized. So Japanese, lol. It's like a gender reversal of the geisha tradition there.

Why do you say the intimacy is fake? What would make it real in your opinion? That's a rhetorical question btw. I already know your answer: a traditional exclusive relationship between two people. A couple. The way it aught to be, lol.

The problem with that as the young female client demonstrates is that her needs are not met by her boyfriend(s). A hired lover trained in the art does such a better job that she will continue to pay him even if her boyfriend finds out and dumps her. That's how valuable the experience is for her, how strong her unmet need is.

That was my experience. Thirty years ago as a young MT I developed a clientele at a spa most of whom continued to see me after the spa closed. I massaged them at my place or traveled to theirs. A small number of them became sensual massage customers and almost all were women. I had learned tantric massage and offered it only to clients who inquired about it. For all intents I became a sex worker to them though I saw it as sex therapy or intimacy therapy.

Some were married, some had boyfriends and some were single and dating or too busy to date. All were missing the physical and emotional intimacy exactly as expressed by the young woman in this video. Sometimes they just needed to be held, consoled and reminded their bodies were beautiful. Most were once a week types but some saw me multiple times a week. Though orgasm isn't the goal of tantric sex my clients frequently had multiples and we almost always ended up coupling. Word of mouth brought me more customers.

Two things strike me most about the young woman who hired the male prostitute in this video. The first is the importance of foreplay to her--which my clients complained they never got enough from their men. The second is the young woman's claim that she loves her male prostitute. Without exception all my long term sensual customers told me they loved me.

Okay let the moralizing begin.:cool:

To me, real emotional intimacy would come from trust and genuine affection that is shared by both parties. Coupledom doesn't play a role in that at all in my opinion.

I call it fake because the trust and affection are all one sided. The prostitute might not hate his Janes, but does he care about them in the way they care about him? Almost certainly not. Does she even know him? Probably not really. The women are emotionally invested in a fantasy and fantasy is always fake.
 
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halcyondays

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To me, real emotional intimacy would come from trust and genuine affection that is shared by both parties. Coupledom doesn't play a role in that at all in my opinion.

I call it fake because the trust and affection are all one sided. The prostitute might not hate his Janes, but does he care about them in the way they care about him? Almost certainly not. Does she even know him? Probably not really. The women are emotionally invested in a fantasy and fantasy is always fake.

I shared trust and genuine affection with my janes. Did they know me? Well enough. Did I know them? Well enough.

You don't know whether he cares about them in the way they care about him. You don't even know if they care about him or how well they know each other. You certainly don't know if the trust and affection are one sided. Even if it is true it's true of most relationships as well.

Certainly not is your opinion, not fact. It reveals your bias that sex for money is wrong and bereft of emotional intimacy. Her relationship with her boyfriend is bereft of emotional intimacy which is why she hires a sex worker in the first place. It's a major reason I was hired.

Fantasy? Marrying and living happily ever after is a fantasy. Finding the perfect mate is a fantasy--Prince Charming and Cinderella fairy tales. The most unhappy people I know are all married or in LTRs or divorced and still traumatized by it.
 

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I'm not sure I follow what you're saying, the food analogy isn't clicking here. For me, if I don't have love for the person, sex isn't happening. I've always been this way. That doesn't imply I haven't fallen quite quickly for a woman. But if not, no sex for me, and no loss either. Sex without love is about as lonely a thing as I can imagine. If all I need is to get off, I'm quite fine masturbating.

Probably different for everyone. To me sex is like food, a basic need. Could be masturbation, could be a simple encounter and of course could be a wonderful very intimate and emotional thing with a loving partner. You can have sex, you can have love and you can have sex and love. But that’s just me. I’m really old-fashioned that way. Like Roman times old-fashioned
 
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If I pay for a sandwich at a restaurant and eat the sandwich, it's a real sandwich. It isn't any less real because it isn't eternal. It isn't any less real because I don't have that same sandwich at home.

I've had plenty of awesome sex without loving or being attached/invested in the person I was fucking. I've had great sex with people I love, too. Both kinds of sex are equally real. Both kinds can be pleasurable and fulfilling.

Semi-related, I'm not that into foreplay. Also, I know many men who have zero problem finding casual sex partners. And money never changes hands. That includes heterosexual men, too.
 
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wallyj84

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I shared trust and genuine affection with my janes. Did they know me? Well enough. Did I know them? Well enough.

You don't know whether he cares about them in the way they care about him. You don't even know if they care about him or how well they know each other. You certainly don't know if the trust and affection are one sided. Even if it is true it's true of most relationships as well.

Certainly not is your opinion, not fact. It reveals your bias that sex for money is wrong and bereft of emotional intimacy. Her relationship with her boyfriend is bereft of emotional intimacy which is why she hires a sex worker in the first place. It's a major reason I was hired.

Fantasy? Marrying and living happily ever after is a fantasy. Finding the perfect mate is a fantasy--Prince Charming and Cinderella fairy tales. The most unhappy people I know are all married or in LTRs or divorced and still traumatized by it.

I don't think sex for money is wrong at all. I've hired prostitutes in the past. I don't do so anymore because my sex drive isn't as high as it used to be, but I used to do it quite frequently. Your insistence that I have some moral issue with prostitution is totally incorrect.

I have a firm belief that you can't buy emotional intimacy. You can buy physical intimacy or sex, but emotional intimacy can't be bought. You can buy something like it, but you can't buy the real thing. That's why I find this situation sad.

The woman interviewed in the video, was definitely in love with her prostitute. That wasn't just a simple sexual thing. She was legit in love. Do you really think he cared about her to that level?
 
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wallyj84

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If I pay for a sandwich at a restaurant and eat the sandwich, it's a real sandwich. It isn't any less real because it isn't eternal. It isn't any less real because I don't have that same sandwich at home.

I've had plenty of awesome sex without loving or being attached/invested in the person I was fucking. I've had great sex with people I love, too. Both kinds of sex are equally real. Both kinds can be pleasurable and fulfilling.

Semi-related, I'm not that into foreplay. Also, I know many men who have zero problem finding casual sex partners. And money never changes hands. That includes heterosexual men, too.

I think you're missing the point. I never said that you couldn't have sex without love.
 

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Probably different for everyone. To me sex is like food, a basic need. Could be masturbation, could be a simple encounter and of course could be a wonderful very intimate and emotional thing with a loving partner. You can have sex, you can have love and you can have sex and love. But that’s just me. I’m really old-fashioned that way. Like Roman times old-fashioned
Yes, it's different for everyone, and that's why I worded my opinion as I did...my opinion. I don't expect my opinion to mesh with anyone, nor would I be concerned if it failed to mesh with anyone's. While I don't want sex without a connection, I know that's not remotely a concern for many men and women. Hence why there is demand for sex workers.
 

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I don't think sex for money is wrong at all. I've hired prostitutes in the past. I don't do so anymore because my sex drive isn't as high as it used to be, but I used to do it quite frequently. Your insistence that I have some moral issue with prostitution is totally incorrect.

Fair enough.

I have a firm belief that you can't buy emotional intimacy. You can buy physical intimacy or sex, but emotional intimacy can't be bought. You can buy something like it, but you can't buy the real thing. That's why I find this situation sad.

Is this from your experience as a john? Did it leave you feeling sad, empty or unfulfilled emotionally compared to sex with someone you loved? Is that the "real thing" you cannot buy?

The woman interviewed in the video, was definitely in love with her prostitute. That wasn't just a simple sexual thing. She was legit in love. Do you really think he cared about her to that level?

It may be lost in translation but she didn't say she was "in love" she said she "loved" him. What she meant by that wasn't explored to any deeper meaning, for example would she date or marry him he wasn't a sex worker.

Yes I think he cared for her to the same level. Here's why. If you go to a restaurant and pay for food is the experience of eating really good food any less because you don't have emotional intimacy with the restaurateur who made the food for you? The food is so good you go back again and again paying for the same experience. You become a regular. You sample the menu but settle on a favorite dish and have "the usual" each time you go there. The owner knows you. The wait staff all know you. They love that you love their food, pay for it on a regular basis and tip well. It makes them happy. It makes you happy. Yet you never leave the place feeling sad because you "can't buy the real thing."

You have a different expectation when it comes to sex-for-pay than food-for-pay. Why?
 

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Fair enough.



Is this from your experience as a john? Did it leave you feeling sad, empty or unfulfilled emotionally compared to sex with someone you loved? Is that the "real thing" you cannot buy?



It may be lost in translation but she didn't say she was "in love" she said she "loved" him. What she meant by that wasn't explored to any deeper meaning, for example would she date or marry him he wasn't a sex worker.

Yes I think he cared for her to the same level. Here's why. If you go to a restaurant and pay for food is the experience of eating really good food any less because you don't have emotional intimacy with the restaurateur who made the food for you? The food is so good you go back again and again paying for the same experience. You become a regular. You sample the menu but settle on a favorite dish and have "the usual" each time you go there. The owner knows you. The wait staff all know you. They love that you love their food, pay for it on a regular basis and tip well. It makes them happy. It makes you happy. Yet you never leave the place feeling sad because you "can't buy the real thing."

You have a different expectation when it comes to sex-for-pay than food-for-pay. Why?

I felt very physically fulfilled from my time with prostitutes. Actually more so than when I was with my girlfriends. It was lacking in emotional intimacy, but I never wanted that with the prostitutes I was with.

I think if you say that you love someone and then in another sentence talk about how when your time with them ends you feel sad and that you wouldn't stop seeing them if your boyfriend asked, that means you're in love. Maybe not with that person, but you are definitely in love with something.

Eating and emotional intimacy are two completely different things. The experience and what you get out of it are totally different. You really can't compare the two.

Once again, my concern with this isn't really about the sex. It's about the emotional intimacy. Sex and true emotional intimacy are two different things. I am very emotionally intimate with my best friend and we've never had sex, but it is the most emotionally intimate relationship I've ever had.