Jealous Softball Team Discrimination

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by Imported, Dec 2, 2002.

  1. Imported

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    JJ_Flash_x: My name is JJ Flash x and I'm a dedicated member of a softball team that made the county rec. league semi-finals last season.  To some this may sound like a good season. Not so for JJ Flash. What you have to understand about me, is that I'm an intense competitor: I'll slide into every base, even if it's just a routine single. I go all out on every play - I treat each inning as if it were my last. Softball is very important to me on a number of levels. I spend a lot of money on my own titanium bat and Nike endorsed uniforms with Dri-Fit technology, plus my sneakers are also very expensive (120 dollars).

    We are in the middle of a current season and I will not be satisfied with the semi-finals. I knew I had to find a way to propel our team to the championship game.

    In batting practice one day, I was hitting bombs. My swing was really hot - during one stretch I hit three home-runs in a row. This bastard from my team, Pete, said it wasn't my powerful swing that was responsible for the bombs - it was my expensive titanium bat. I explained to him that it damn sure was my powerful swing, but he insisted on being a bastard. So, to validate my natural softball talent, I let him use my bat for reasons of comparison. He hit a couple of loopy fly balls which we all laughed at, calling him a sissy. I went to take my bat back, but he wouldn't let me have it - he persisted that the bat was foreign to him and that once he warmed up with it, once he developed a kind of repore, he would be hitting awesome bombs just like me.

    So there I was, left to complete batting practice without a softball bat. What am I supposed  to hit bombs with now? This put me in a difficult situation. Without a bat, I could only watch helplessly as balls pitched for my batting improvement flew past me and rolled uselessly to the backstop.

    I looked around for a stick or something, but I couldn't find anything that would substitute for a bat. Here I was left in a position where I was not improving myself as a softball player. What I was doing was indirectly compromising my team's performance and our chances to reach the championship game. I couldn't let it happen.

    Frustrated, I took matters into my own hands in terms of using my huge monster of a penis in a way that some may feel unconventional.

    I got rock-hard just thinking about hitting a softball with my 11+ inch monster. I had never tried this before and it excited me. Unzipping my pants, I hefted my unit and let the pitcher know to come at me with his best fastball. Although I trusted my huge cock, I was skeptical as to how far I could hit a softball with it.

    I fouled off the first pitch into the bleachers. Not very impressive. Despair settled in and I stuffed my huge penis back in my pants, embarrassed at such a meager foul-off. I almost gave up for good right there, but my big dick throbbed for a second chance. I figured a cock like this (11+) deserved that second chance. With nothing to lose, I gripped my 11+ inches and stepped back into the box.

    The pitcher came at me with a wicked curve and I caught it right on the sweet spot of my cock. Talk about an awesome bomb! Talk about never hitting a baseball this far in my life!

    Now I hit homeruns via my penis almost every plate appearance and have become something of a media darling. I am going to win league MVP this year. If I don't the only explanation is collusion or an even more devious type of foul play.

    My teammates congratulated me on my discovery, but they would soon grow jealous and begin to discriminate against me.  Of course they all attempted to hit awesome bombs like me with their mediocre penises. What a comic sight that was to see these small-penises flapping around uselessly - most of the guys weren't even confident enough in their endowment to get a proper erection.

    I told them it was unrealistic trying to replicate my batting prowess with dicks that were anything less than monstrous - for emphasis, I pulled out my 11+ monster and invited them to compare my girth and stature to their own diminutive penises. I told them to just look at how bold my erections were. They got my point, but resented it.  They even call me names now like "Huge Cock!" and make snide remarks such as asking me if my large penis fits in regular sized girls, or only in the fatties. It fits in both just fine. Though I would never touch a fatty, much less consider spending time naked around one. Stupid fatties.

    Once when I asked for a ride to the game, Pete said, "Why don't you just ride your 11+?". Then he sped out of the parking lot in his Mustang, leaving me behind in a cloud of dust. And can you guess who was lent somebody's expensive titanium softball bat as a form of goodwill? The ungrateful bastard.

    But I would get to the game. And I would hit three home-runs and knock in seven RBIs and wave to the adoring crowd as I rounded the bases. Once after a particularly awesome home-run I blew kisses to this young beauty who fell instantly in love with me. Still, there is a lingering sadness that stems from my teammates' jealousies and tendency to discriminate. They make me feel insecure, even as I know my huge penis makes me far better than them.  

    I would appreciate support in the form of helpful advice. If anyone has ever been in a similar situation, please let me know.

    JJ Flash x
     
  2. Imported

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    brad2002: Damn. I hate it when that happens.
     
  3. Imported

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    Finedessert: I think it's your secret weapon that you should have let " Pete" play with. ::)

    "If anyone has ever been in a similar situation, please let me know." You gotta be kidding!

    Grandpa
     
  4. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Some of the members who have been around since the days of LPSG on EZ board ( http://pub136.ezboard.com/flargepenissupportgroupfrm10 ) might recognise the screen name JJ_Flash_x. He posted a strange group of anecdotes in the Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy forum there as well. It's listed as Parents jealous of 11+ inches. (This is the loser who claims that his other's sarcastic remark to his asking quetions was, "Why don't you ask your huge cock?") If you have some free time, check out the thread ... it's currently on page 2 of the topic. You'll get an idea of just what a pathetic moron this guy is. (BTW, he particularly stands out in my mind because he claimed that I was in love with him. I don't even know the guy!)  
     
  5. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Charlie Hustle was an exceptional, egotistic ballplayer who made a lot of enemies, too.

    But the difference here is that he was a team player.

    Maybe that's the root of your problems?

    Pecker
     
  6. Imported

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    mindseye: [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=relationships;num=1038846187;start=0#3 date=12/02/02 at 11:07:29]Some of the members who have been around since the days of LPSG on EZ board ( http://pub136.ezboard.com/flargepenissupportgroupfrm10 ) might recognise the screen name JJ_Flash_x.[/quote]

    In fact, I was surprised that he chose the same screen name here. I would have mentioned it if you hadn't.

    I think we should all be flattered that several months later, he *still* finds us interesting enough to mock.
     
  7. D_Martin van Burden

    D_Martin van Burden Account Disabled

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    I don't know what you guys don't understand concerning this simple but effective maxim: "Take it with a grain of salt." So the kid's starting shenanigans again. No big deal. Don't you know that people start stuff like this only to get a reaction out of others, and that if we do respond, it's a provocation?

    Besides... what idiot with try to hit a softball with an erection? Despite the insinuation from the name, they're far from being soft objects. I'd personally start with a golf ball and work my way up.
     
  8. Imported

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    Finedessert: DEE: I'm ROTFLMAO, wouldn't Ping Pong Balls be softer?


    Grandpa
     
  9. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Actually, batting around Nerf balls with a hardon can be done. My bros and I used to do it for shits and giggles! ;)
     
  10. Zot57

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    [quote author=DoubleMeatWhopper link=board=relationships;num=1038846187;start=0#8 date=12/02/02 at 18:21:58]Actually, batting around Nerf balls with a hardon can be done. My bros and I used to do it for shits and giggles! ;)[/quote]

    Hmm ... that would make an unusual porn film ... I don't think it's ever been done. I can see it now ... Nerf baseball, Gunner vs. Joe Young!

    I bet some people would buy it ...

    -- Erik
     
  11. B_DoubleMeatWhopper

    B_DoubleMeatWhopper New Member

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    Hey, yeah! I'll have to mention it to Gunner and see if he and his buds want to try catching a few innings on videotape! (Gives a whole new meaning to the phrase 'using a cocked bat'!) ;D
     
  12. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    Yeah - and chocking the chicken instead of the bat.

    Pecker
     
  13. Imported

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    Donk: I am shocked by the lack of support shown for JJ's predicament! I know where he is coming from as I have had a similar situation with my golf foursome. You see, we play (or used to at least) with this rule that if your tee shot does not go past the ladies' tee you have to unzip and play the rest of the hole with your manhood hanging out. Well, you can guess the rest.

    One day, I screwed up my drive on the third hole and had to follow "the Rule". Of course, there were lots of "holy shits" when I whipped it out. The other guys immediately declared that this rule would no longer be enforced (obviously because they did not appreciate the comparison). Well, in the spirit of fair play, I insisted on finishing out the hole with my dick out since that was the rule in place at the time.

    Of course, I was concerned that it would get in the way of my swing and then there was the obvious problem that I might trip over it. But I turned it to my advantage--and played out the hole using only my dick as a club. I got a birdie and, naturally, decided to play out the rest of the round with my dick instead of my clubs. I am now a scratch golfer and use only my penis to hit most shots. An added bonus is that I no longer have to lug a golf bag around, just a wedge or two for short shots. The downside is that my friends invite me to play less and less. And last time I played I forgot to take my wedge. I needed to make a chip shot. One of my friends was like, "Why don't you just use your dick!" I was like, "yeah, right. For a chip!?"
     
  14. Imported

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    MichaelWith11: I've saved a fortune on store-bought equipment by using my cock instead. It's been a huge help using it instead of rope while mountain-climbing (except that my fellow climbers would prefer something they can get their hands completely around), and I'm far and away the most popular member of my gondola team. And modesty forbids my talking about how many pole-vaults championships I've won.

    Finally, the secret is out in the open.

    Michael
     
  15. Pecker

    Pecker Retired Moderator
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    How do you get at those high fast balls?

    Jump?

    :-/

    Pecker
     
  16. Imported

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    KevK: Now let me tell you about my experience bungee-jumping...!
     
  17. Imported

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    Icarus213: This is hilarious 8)
     
  18. Imported

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    JJ_Flash_x: First off, I want to thank those members that have come forward with their stories of using large penises as sporting good equipment. It will show those that are less supportive that this is not an isolated issue.
     
  19. Imported

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    littlbigguy: I'm not quite the athletic type that Michaelwith11 is,  nor do I bungee jump or play golf, so i've not had the occasion to use my dick to the specific sports advantages that have just been so helpfully  described.  I do however teach a college course.  On the first day of class I entered the room and could not find an old fashioned  wooden yardstick pointer of the type that I was looking for.   All I found was this little pencil, barely the size of my forefinger, which I was too dumb at first to realize was a laser designed to achieve the effect of pointing with a narrow stream of light.  I somewhat nervously began my lecture and when it came to the moment where an item on my overhead transparency needed to be graphically pointed to and emphasized, and my arms were not long enough to reach, I utilized the only other appendage of mine that was capable of doing the trick.  To my great relief it did reach, and it seemed that my point of emphasis had in fact made a great impression on my students. (I later quizzed them on it in the midterm exam, so I can tell you this for sure.)  Very surprisingly, by the second day of lecture class registration had sextupled and the course needed to be moved to the largest lecture hall on campus.  Once in that room, it instantly clicked to me how the pencil sized laser pointer was to be used -- which to my mind was fortunate, since the pointing distance from lectern to the screen was greater in that particular room and  possibly even  exceeded the length of the personal pointing implement I had been using previously.  With a feeling of relief in mind, I confidently embarked upon the second lecture and all went smoothly from that point on, from my point of view.   However, attendance began to drop off after that, and I never could understand why.   Maybe it's like in the athletic experiences after all, there are both upsides and downsides.

    P.S.  I'd never claim that having a big member is correlated in any way with intelligence or dumbness, but it makes some sense for it to be correlated with having a great sense of humor about itself, as happily is the case with a number of us members here.
     
  20. Imported

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    brad2002: Someday when we are old, we'll have to all meet for a good old fashioned game of shuffleboard.
     
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