Jealousy from other women?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by D_Fluoridia Bidet, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    I do not know how to deal with this. I don't know why I am so hated and envied by so many women. It's happened all my life growing up. Compared to other women in this world that are beautiful I am nothing, I have nothing like them yet most of them hate me? Even dudes that liked me were jealous and always abused me. They weren't boyfriends they were just boys at school and they treated other women so well I got treated like shit apparently because I was walking around thinking I was all that?

    It's usually a racial thing as well black women hate me. Either they adored me alot and not because of my personality but because I was mixed? But mostly black women hate me even more. I am so hurt by this, they hate me because I am a hybrid/mixed race. They always told me "oh you think you're the shit because of your hair?" It's fucking hair!! >_> They hated me because my nose is thinner and my skin is lighter (almost white) and I don't talk uneducated with broken english. It goes even more deeper than that it's like if I don't listen to Pdiddy or Rhianna that I am an outcast. For crying outloud it's just music!

    They always called me little white girl I catch hell from the black side of my family. I am just skin and bones like anybody else? I mean shit I am not Halle Berry she should be envied by many, compared to me I am just a mere girl that has nothing. I don't know how to do deal with the bullshit.

    Does any other girl here feel the same way?
     
  2. hypoc8

    hypoc8 Member

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    I know I'll probably catch all kind of hell for this but this is exactly why I believe that people should stay in their own race. The children catch hell for it, neither the black's nor the whites want anything to do with them on count of them being mixed. I have heard and seen this first hand, I have two cousins that have bi-racial children. I don't really have an answer for you other than grow some thick skin and become a strong and productive person in spite of what others may say and think.
     
  3. Gillette

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    I'm mixed stock as well. The only problem I've ever had from it was a girl who wanted to beat me up because I was too white. WTF? This was at a dance club, does this mean I don't dance as well as I think I do?
     
  4. Not_Punny

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    Well, it sounds to me like you have beautifully mixed some of the nice features of both races. :wink:

    I could be wrong on this, but it seems to me that the biggest divide isn't color anymore, it's socioeconomics. If you act and talk like an educated person (especially in Texas and other Southern states), that means you have higher income earning potential, and that is probably a major part of jealously from ANY side of the color divide.

    You're already planning on moving -- if I were you I'd take some road trips and visit some areas of higher socioeconomics, and find some social scenes that work better for you.

    PS: As far as jealousy goes, YES. It does exist among women. I compensate by being nicer than they expect, and it wins people over in time.
     
  5. SpoiledPrincess

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    I hate to be negative crissy but having seen how you carry on in the chat room I feel that the 'hatred' you feel might be a simple case of you pissing people off.
     
  6. TheRob

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    I'm not a girl but are you hot or something
    I find generally hot women get these vibes from other women
     
  7. TheRob

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    nobody dances as well as they think they do hun
    except this girl I work with
    whew...
    she has got IT
     
  8. frizzle

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    Stop being such a pussy and get over it. Everyone gets bullied and from my own experience being on both sides of the fence, it's usually a power thing. Life goes on.
     
  9. B_Edward Yawn

    B_Edward Yawn New Member

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    No.
     
  10. vibratingfinger

    vibratingfinger New Member

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    I don't know but maybe they hate you because you assume anyone who speaks in Ebonics is uneducated. I love how you phrased that by the way. "I don't talk uneducated. " You should frame it.
     
  11. Osiris

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    On this one Frizzle, you are way out of line. You can't understand the stigma that some are burdened with being of mixed racial heritage. On this one I have to say you missed the point altogether.

    Gillette and I have had this discussion and my daughter will grow up mixed heritage and I worry about a lot of what you just talked about Crissy. Because we were raised in the predominantly white, affluent neighborhoods, we were reviled by blacks who thought we were trying to be white (I even got accused of being an Oreo because I had a white stepdad). Then we were hated by some whites who thought we should "know our place" and move back to the ghetto.

    I know where you are coming from Crissy and sometimes, it really sucks.
     
  12. AlteredEgo

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    I think there are a combination of factors for you, Crissy. I have seen you to be deliberately antagonistic with women. I don't know if it's a pre-emptive strike kind of defense mechanism, or if you're just someone who enjoys getting a reaction, but people don't respond well. I've seen it in the chat room. I've also seen that you have a hard time making yourself fit into an established group. Again, I don't know if it's a defense mechanism, but the behavior seems quite deliberate. It seems to me that instead of going slowly and finding out where you can fit into the group, you deliberately make waves, demand attention, and throw a fit when people don't like it. That's just my observation. And that's just one factor. It's the one for which you must accept responsibility.

    Next. I remember your gallery. You're a pretty woman. You have excellent bone structure, shiny, wavy hair, and an even complexion with no blemishes visible in the photos. Beautiful. You also have a nice figure. There are women who are very threatened by other women who they may even perceive as prettier than themselves. If you remain pretty, you'll keep running into these women. This is THEIR problem. Please don't make it yours, Crissy. Take Usher's advice: "Pop ya collar don't let it sweat ya!"

    I think others have already covered the racial and racist problems a woman like you will encounter.

    What I suggest to you, Crissy, is that you do not go into situations expecting to be mistreated. I suspect that you do go into situations with that expectation, and then either act up, or misinterpret other's actions and words, and become beligerent. Try to avoid this pattern. Things will improve, I'm sure. Good luck.
     
  13. SassySpy

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    I have no response to the OP as alas, I havent this problem.

    But AlteredEgo, EXCELLENT post. I salute you.:smile:
     
  14. AlteredEgo

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    Meh. Just tring to help. I love your signature.
     
  15. Not_Punny

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    Flowers to AlteredEgo!! Good one! I see shadows of myself in there... (I mean that it probably applies to me too)
     
  16. AlteredEgo

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    Really?


    In real life I tend to distance myself from women. Many women I encounter jsut rub me the wrong way. I'm not sure why that is. Most places on the net it's the same. But here, on this site, I really enjoy most of the women. I wonder if any of what I wrote to Crissy has anything to do with any of that.
     
  17. D_Fluoridia Bidet

    D_Fluoridia Bidet New Member

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    Thanks for the advice. Oh yeah about the chat you cannot take me seriously there I never act like an attention whore but if I do you can't take me seriously. The only times I throw a fit is when someone insults me. The usual insult is that I don't have pics in my gallery so automatically I am labeled as a dude posing as a girl. I take my pics down because I am being cautious sometimes I am paranoid that a friend or even family would discover me here yeah it's a small world. Or most think I am dumb so when I come in there it's like "omg someone dumb just came in the room." But I don't care that's just my personality I am silly I can't help it.

    And most of the women I do not have a problem with I talk to plenty of women in chat. If does seem like I am annoying them it's all me being silly.
     
  18. frizzle

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    Look, I grew up in a rough area and was constantly "bullied", but practically everyone, it was a violent enviroment and even your best freinds would smash you in the face with a bottle if they were a little drunk or pissed off.

    Infact I had my nose broken when someone headbutted me for no reason. Seriously, me and a friend got of the bus and this stranger ran up to us and headbutted me. I saw him around and everytime I saw him we'd have a fight (I say fight, he'd have a knuckle duster on most times so I lost all the time.)

    Yet, I never complained, I never bitched, I just got on with it, it's life, it gets better it gets worse boo hoo. Sorry if I don't agree with your sentiments on racial attacks, there is no such thing in my eyes when dealing with emotions, black or white it still hurts whether it's racial or not.
     
  19. Principessa

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    I thought the same thing SP; until I read her entire post.
    Being bi-racial in Texas or any southern state has gotta be hard. Heck, just being black in America is hard.
     
  20. titan1968

    titan1968 Active Member

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    All I can say to Chrissy, Osiris or Gillette is be yourselves. Yes, we are black, white, red or mixed, but deep down we are human beings with dreams and passions. No one has the right to tell you how you should behave. Is there really a ''white'' or ''black'' way to behave?

    Although I am white, I can identify with you. My parents are from two different cultural backgrounds and there used to be this pressure from friends and family to conform. I felt that I was never accepted; I even felt ashamed of who I was. One day I was sick of this act-- of trying to be these two different people, so I stopped playing their game. I started making myself heard.

    Be proud of who you are.
     
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