- Joined
- Sep 8, 2006
- Posts
- 5,475
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- Location
- Wisconsin USA
- Sexuality
- 50% Straight, 50% Gay
- Gender
- Female
Perhaps it is a symptom of my overall inhibited emotional nature, but I like to think I am above such petty things as begrudging others their happiness together.
However I am not. I have envy of those who have gotten their chance to die already, who have gotten their fifteen minutes of fame already, who are in stable and permanent partnerships already, whose gardens do not have Japanese beetles, whose children have given them grandchildren to amuse them already, whose bones do not ache, who can stomach their average human neighbors and enjoy saying hello to one another without faking it. I am jealous and I feel inferior, stupid, and a waste of genetic potential.
And kvetching to you all I realize that my relative wealth and comfort in comparison to the majority of homo sapiens do not erase this when I have to share MINE, to which I in fact have no entitlement.
I would love to bloom where I am planted, if only my roots were a little less nibbled...
What solutions do you have to envy, jealousy, coveting? How do you excise it?
However I am not. I have envy of those who have gotten their chance to die already, who have gotten their fifteen minutes of fame already, who are in stable and permanent partnerships already, whose gardens do not have Japanese beetles, whose children have given them grandchildren to amuse them already, whose bones do not ache, who can stomach their average human neighbors and enjoy saying hello to one another without faking it. I am jealous and I feel inferior, stupid, and a waste of genetic potential.
And kvetching to you all I realize that my relative wealth and comfort in comparison to the majority of homo sapiens do not erase this when I have to share MINE, to which I in fact have no entitlement.
I would love to bloom where I am planted, if only my roots were a little less nibbled...
What solutions do you have to envy, jealousy, coveting? How do you excise it?