Jealousy-- I has it

_LUX_

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I'm very envious and lately I decided to just do something about some of these issues.
-I'm really skinny and I envy tall, muscular guys; so I started a routine of bodybuilding exercises and diet. It won't solve the problem cause there are incredible guys out there and I'll still be a dork, but I can see results and this keeps some of the hate at bay.
-I hate my frieds who have success in their field because I'm stuck with a work I don't really like and I don't have any real talent or skill. But I really like to draw, so I started to draw a lot. I'm not Romita but I'm improving and who knows? maybe I'll reach some results, but the little appreciation I receive about my work helps a lot.

But then... I love a blonde tall muscular guy who's hetero and I envy his bitches... And I love a blonde incredible girl who was in my class but won't even accept me on facebook... and I envy the guy who's touching her tits... and about this, all I can do is to masturbate a lot :\
 

Belly_Dancer

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First of all, I’ll say that it never feels good to be jealous, and as a Buddhist, I think that jealousy is a delusion that needs to be abandoned. So, I am working on learning to rejoice in others’ good fortune, which is a good antidote to jealousy.

However, in the spirit of sharing, I admit:

1) I get jealous of petite women. At 5’ 9”, I will never be petite. I will also never have a small ass. Some men prefer petite women and this makes me feel insecure. However, my ego has had a boost lately because the founder of the belly dance studio I attend is a very tall woman, but is still a graceful, sexy, and beautiful dancer. It gives me hope that just because I am tall and not super-thin, I don’t have to feel unfeminine or ungraceful.

2) I sometimes get jealous of people with kids, because my life took a different path and is still on a path that won’t include having children. If I think it all the way through, I don’t really regret not having kids -- I think I have made the right choices in my circumstances, but I do get a pang sometimes when I see a family having fun together, and realize I will never have quite what they have.

As I said, though, I am working on this. When I see a cute, petite woman, I try to be happy for her. And when I see families I try to be happy for them too, and wish them happiness.
 

helgaleena

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LUX-- keep drawing! I have used art all my life to keep sane and it really helps! In fact I do quite a few artworks of things I cannot have but still admire :tongue:

BellyDancer, my sister does your art. It is very good for the health.
 

D_Gunther Snotpole

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Helgaleena, have you ever heard of a therapy/practice called Constructive Living?

It was created by an American named David Reynolds, who brought together two Japanese approaches ... Morita therapy, which focuses on action, and Naikan therapy, which focuses on a kind of introspection that helps you step beyond your ego and apprehend how much you have received and how little you have given back (but in a releasing way in which you realize you're really receiving an amazing amount from the universe all the time).

This is a youtube video in which Constructive Living is explained pretty well. I think you would enjoy what he says about the Naikan element, beginning around 4:10.

But Morita therapy is also fascinating.

This is a pretty good discussion of the principles of Constructive Living.

After a bit of Naikan practice, I don't think one could feel jealousy with any force. Of course, that fades over time, and you need to do it again.