Jealousy or curiousity ?

[13788]

lucy_daviesuk: Hi,

I have always know my best friends husband was hung but on a recent skiing holiday to Norway, where a lot of the leisure facilities are mixed I saw him naked and it was such a turn on. He was at least 8" limp, and thick. My boyfriend obviously noticed too and felt quite inadequate (bless him he is quite small). I know they have great sex (girls talk you know&#33 and have had a couple of threesomes. I now feel totally jealous of my friend and want to try her husbands large penis. Do I go for the foursome, making my bf feel even more inadequate or spend the rest of my days wondering ?

Lucy

 

[Altairion]

If you want to try for it, maybe see if your best friend would be up to asking your boyfriend about it. That way he won't feel as...diminished, and instead more accepted into the group when he's being asked by the person that is likely to notice the most.

 

[mindseye]

Originally posted by lucy_daviesuk@Feb 24 2005, 07:32 PM
Do I go for the foursome, making my bf feel even more inadequate or spend the rest of my days wondering ?

[post=286121]Quoted post[/post]​

Do you want to keep your boyfriend? If so, then keep on wondering. (The fantasy may well be better than the reality anyway.)

If your boyfriend's feelings of inadequacy are strong enough, he may resent you for initiating the fourgy and putting him in a situation where he felt vulnerable. That resentment may fester in several ways -- he may become jealous and suspicious and accuse you of continuing to see your best friend's husband, for example.

If your boyfriend gets to the point where he's okay with this, he'll find a way to let you know.

 

[Knight]

Originally posted by Altairion@Feb 25 2005, 12:41 AM
If you want to try for it, maybe see if your best friend would be up to asking your boyfriend about it. That way he won't feel as...diminished, and instead more accepted into the group when he's being asked by the person that is likely to notice the most.

[post=286127]Quoted post[/post]​

Yeah I think you should get your friend to ask him, maybe even make it sound like she really wants your bf (even more than she already does) then he'd be turned on. Still, seeing a huge penis might be a huge turn off for him, despite how hot and sexy your friend is being.

Dildos are cheap and fantasies don't cost a thing. There are lots of ways in which a hookup, foursome, twosome or whatever can go bad for all of you. So even though there is the option of enthusing your bf, I'd say if you value your bf, your relationship with your friend and her husband then don't do it. Fantasy is better than reality anyway.

 

[jay_too]

Perhaps, you need to decide whether or not sex with a big dick is more important than a realtionship based on love and respect. If you choose the big'un, I think it is time for you to break off the relationship.

jay

 

[BobLeeSwagger]

I agree with mindseye. To even suggest it to your boyfriend would be a slap in the face and he'd be justified in dumping you right then and there. If it's just a fantasy, that's one thing. But if you really feel that strongly about it, then it's completely unfair for you to be dating a "smaller guy" at the same time, unfair for both you and him. Either keep it a fantasy, or break up with him first before trying it.

 

[FrankPipeliner]

lucy, first, i concur with the other guys that its bad form to attempt to drag your bf into a situation where he'd feel emasculted. The options of dump him or forget it are satisfactory depending on your frame of mind. btw, you didn't tell how the two men get along with one another.

if you want to keep your bf and have your gf's husband then you have work to do:
option 1
you say your bf feels inadequate but you didn't mention your response. if you want your bf to be comfortable in this 4-some you need to bolster his self confidence. make sure he knows that he is more than adequate and can stand up to any guy regardless of size or prowess. also, make sure your bf is going to get equal time in the encounter. 4-somes are different than 3-somes and you two girls can't be standing in line for the gf's husband. someone and preferably both of you need to service your bf with gusto.
option 2
find 4-some relationships where your bf will feel comfortable and not intimidated. use these situations to build his confidence before suggesting the hook up with your gf and her husband.
good luck

 

[13788]

the_force: Speaking from a guy that's been asked to come into relationships to fuck women that have boyfriends or even husbands with small dicks, i can tell you that it isn't a good idea to push this subject onto your boyfriend. If you're curious, as it's been mentioned, buy a large toy and use that. Your boyfriend i can almost gurantee will feel inadequate. Now, obviously their are excepts to the rule. However, every reltionship i've seen and been partially involved with regarding this, has always ended. Your best friends husband sounds a lot like me in terms of size and honestly...you do have to determine if you are with your boyfriend because you love him or not. That should be the determining factor. Fantasies are healthy, but not at the expense of others. Also you have to consider, if you see your friend in a foresome with your boyfriend and her husband, that eventually, it's gonna get mentioned about you fucking your friends husband (sorry if you actually DID mention you wanted him to fuck you, i dont' recall you saying that or not) If your boyfriend watchs this and see's you really enjoying it, he'll question his own worth to you and his inability to pleasure you. If you don't actually fuck the husband, but see him fucking your best friend...that'll just draw you in more....seeing the potential power of getting fucked by a large dick. It's obviously all on you....i really wouldn't recommend it. But i've always said, when you're in a relationship with someone....no matter what or why....they should be the only person you can see in a crowded room. The second you start thinking about someone else being with you, is the second you should consider getting out of the current relationship you're in...it's how people get bitter

 

[jonb]

Yeah, it might seem fun, but trust me, it isn't worth risking your relationship.

 

[13788]

lucy_daviesuk: Thanks for all the cool advice,

You are all right - its a fantasy / tempoary obsession that I'd should'nt risk my relationship for. However could I have my cake and eat it ? The other couple are used to having extra people in the bedroom so I'm sure it won't hurt their relationship. My bf, although quite small is brilliant in bed. Could it boost his confidence by pleasing a women who is used to a large guy ? I could also get my big dick and everyone is happy!

Now tell me to come back down to planet earth,

Lucy x

 

[natureisreal]

Lucy did you think about the difference of growers and showers. Maybe the difference between the two men is smaller then you think
Back on earth?

 

[13788]

the_force:

Originally posted by jonb@Feb 26 2005, 09:31 PM
Yeah, it might seem fun, but trust me, it isn't worth risking your relationship.

[post=286692]Quoted post[/post]​

from a purely psychological point of view (and for the record, all i need is 6 more credits to be a clinical psychologist lol) relationships involving people that share their bed, don't last, typically. Eventually, things will happen and the relationship will fail. And while your intentions are just to fill that missing gap...regardless, your boyfriend will probably feel inadequate once he see's a bigger dick than his satisfying you more then he can. And can tell by the way you talk, that you believe a bigger cock would satisfy you more, and he will pick up on that too. A big dick isn't all it's cracked up to be. For me, i hate it when people say that it's something i should be proud of. I don't take pride in such things....only things i've worked hard for to achieve. A big dick isn't an achievement. You have to determine if you're happy with who your boyfriend is...satisfied with what he offers both in the bedroom and outside. If you aren't satisfied, then you should leave. Dont stay in a relationship if you aren't getting what you want out of it. I think you need to do some searching..maybe take some time away from your boyfriend to date other men. I really think this is a matter of you not really knowing what you want. Try dating other men, experiencing other things...then make your decision

 

[Knight]

Yeah I agree you need some clarity here. Decide if you really want to stay with your boyfriend. Also have you ever had a large dick before? Your friend's husband sounds large. If you haven't then I dunno if it would be much fun if you just jumped in bed together, there are limits remember. But hey I dunno, maybe it'll slide right in.

Maybe date other men, definitely make some decisions.

 

[big_peter]

several things I think are worth considering:

1- fantasies make good material.
2- 2 couples sharing a room can turn each other on- no trading required.
3- if you can be discrete, 3-ways are fun

4- HIS GF can invite your BF
5- sometimes the question is better than the answer
6- fantasies make good material

NO- I don't intend to steer you - I've experience with only most of the above--- and I hope you choose well.

 

[13788]

the_force: the inherent problem withi sharing a bedroom is rather simple. Generally speaking, if you and your partner share sexual relations with another couple...and set a rule, that you'll only do that type of thing as a couple. The problem with this is that, that rule eventually gets stretched. For example...say you and your partner decide to just fuck while another couple is in the room fucking. Eventually, curiosity about the other person, man or woman, will get to you. And you'll then approach your partner and want to have sex with the couple. You'll probably make the rule that you only do this as a couple at that point. And typically, this will work and last for a while. But more times than not...one person will say to themselves "well, whats one time without them being around." And that is cheating to be honest. Because chances are you will not share that experience with your partner, because you broke the rule and don't want to upset them. When you start lying to hide something, you're cheating on your partner. Now, everyone pay attention before you all jump down my throat....THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS TO EVERY RULE. Some relationships can and have worked out by sharing sexual partners. It can happen. However, the majority of the time they do not. If you're not in that serious of a relationship, or you're just dating, no feelings attached...i say go for a 3some. AS long as their are no strings attached...but if you're in a relationship...i'd seriously consider your actions first.

 

[FrankPipeliner]

as to the previous comment by 'the force': 1. there is no point to having sex in the same room as another couple unless your going to share partners. 2. too many rules, dude. and 3. i agree that it's curtains for many couples....but it sure is fun!

 

[Blood rose]

Is it really worth going into debt for a dress your only going to wear once?

Now, I know that's a metaphor, but come on here. If you aren't very committed, then hell, go for it. But if you really love your boyfriend, stay away from it. One way to arouse an attraction of a 4-some is to ask your boyfriend if he finds the guys wife attractive. Start him off and say that you find him liking that women hot. Then slip in smoothly and start talking about the guy. Don't talk about his penis, or your boyfriend right off the bat will probaly feel lesser. Hopefully you'll get to the point of agreement, or whatever. Meh, I don't know.