Jehova's Witness This!

[DaveyR]

Also, anyone who leaves their church is shunned and is even supposed to be disowned by his family.

Sadly this is very true.

Many years ago a close member of my family cut me off completely when I "came out" because he is a JW. Recently we have become close again and I questioned him about his faith and associating with me. He told me he holds himself to the JW standards and way of life but is no longer prepared to hold non JW's to it. He's in his 80's now and because of his strict adherence to JW beliefs has missed out a lot on family gatherings. I suspect he is starting to realise what he has missed out on and is making up for lost time.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

Oh you also tell them you've been banned by the church.
Disfellowshipped for the witnesses
excommunicated for the mormons

 

[HiddenLacey]

Lol they come by my house like once every two weeks. I just take their pamplets and say thank you for stopping by. My boyfriend told them not to come back... so they come only when I'm alone now.

 

[FRE]

In about 1995, when I lived in Fiji, two female Mormon missionaries moved into an adjacent flat. They talked to me about Mormonism and presented me with the Book of Mormon, which I read. When they asked me about it, I was quite direct, although courteous, in telling them the problems I found in it. Later, I wrote an essay about the problems with the Book of Mormon and presented it to the priest of the Anglican Church of which I was a member.

When I was briefly visiting Sydney, I asked a couple Mormon missionaries where the horses came from. They said that they believed the Book of Mormon and asked me whether I had asked God whether it was true. Unfortunately, I thought too slowly; I should have asked them if they always asked God whether the traffic light was red or green.

The shunning practiced by JWs is unChristian and so far as I am concerned, it is the most important single thing wrong with that church.

One reason I continue to be a member of the Episcopal Church is that its official position is that it does not have a monopoly on truth and is not always right. In fact, it encompasses a wide range of opinions and we respect differences in opinion.

Incidentally, his grace, the right reverend V. Gene Robinson, the partnered gay bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of New Hampshire, will be delivering the sermon at all three services at St. Michael and All Angels Episcopal Church here in Albuquerque on Sunday, 27 June. His consecration led to considerable tension in the church and several national churches in the Anglican Communion, especially in Africa, have threatened to leave the Anglican Communion because of it. More recently, a lesbian priest became a bishop in the Diocese of Los Angeles, leading to more outcries from Africa. It's unfortunate that the African churches are not more concerned about the horrible and wide-spread corruption which is locking people in many African countries into abject poverty.

 

[arched]

One Saturday morning, I was in my "AC/DC" pajama pants and a t-shirt that read "Legalize Gay" when a patron of the LARGEST Baptist church in town came to my open door. She saw me working on my stereo system, so I had to greet her. She simply asked me to join her on Sunday Morning. I told her no, because I belong to the small liberal Unitarian Universalist Church just aronud the corner (the Baptist Church's nemisis). She then smiled, and asked me if I had any prayer request. I said "Yes, you can ask for a blessing for my husband and I". She asked for my name and left.

I wonder if I got my blessing...

 

[FRE]

One Saturday morning, I was in my "AC/DC" pajama pants and a t-shirt that read "Legalize Gay" when a patron of the LARGEST Baptist church in town came to my open door. She saw me working on my stereo system, so I had to greet her. She simply asked me to join her on Sunday Morning. I told her no, because I belong to the small liberal Unitarian Universalist Church just aronud the corner (the Baptist Church's nemisis). She then smiled, and asked me if I had any prayer request. I said "Yes, you can ask for a blessing for my husband and I". She asked for my name and left.

I wonder if I got my blessing...

I like that.

Once, when I lived in San Diego and was running for exercise, someone yelled, "Jesus loves you." I yelled back, "Krishna loves you."

 

[DaveyR]

I wonder if I got my blessing...

What odds would you give on that?

 

[midlifebear]

I've posted this before (a long time ago), but it's relevant.

I grew up in a large mormon family (is there any other kind? LO!), and was summarily kicked out of my parent's home when, at 16, I announced I was gay.

Anyway, I had the same problem as most LPSG-ers have posted, but mostly with mormon missionaries knocking on my door at 8:00 AM on Saturdays. For years I just slammed the door in their faces, but they are trained to expect that as part of their "missionary experience" and I'm sure I was on the local missionary center's list for "Go here to have door slammed in face."

One afternoon two perky, clean cut young mormon men showed up. They introduced themselves and asked their standard "golden questions." I told them to go away. But they persisted. They even pulled the old, "But it's so hot out today, couldn't you offer us a quick glass of water?"

I was wearing just my boxers and thought for a moment. "OK, why not." I said. There was already a VHS tape of seriously pig filthy pre condom gay sex tape in my VCR. As I led them into the "family room", I clicked on the VCR/TV and went into the kitchen. When I came back with glasses of water they were no where to be seen. And they were rude enough to have left my front door open.

They never came back or bothered me again after that visit.

Mormon missionaries will deny this, but they mark homes (the curb, window sill, top of your font door frame, whatever) with a recognizable sign regarding who lives in your home. The Elders representing the local ward and "Bishopbric" do this same thing. It lets them know if you're friendly, Republican, worship Satan, a Baptist, gay, etc. Next time any of you LSPG-ers scare them off with a shot gun, check the next day to see if there's anything "different" about the front of your house or front yard, sidewalk and curb.

 

[nudepierced]

I went to the door naked, the J/W use to stop early afternoon on Sundays, two weeks in a row, the third week my five y/o son was sick on the couch with penomia, should have been in the hospital but the Dr said being there were two Rns in the family he thought he would be ok at home he was finally resting , well here they came the third week the dog started barking and woke him up, underware came off I went on the front porch told them to get the fuck away and stay away or else. They never came back but the old guy across the street said do you know you were naked...lol

 

[freyasworld]

I normally tell all devil dodgers I'm a witch and a lesbian, they run and fast!

 

[arched]

@ Cunning Stunt: none at all, but I liked my facebook replies after I posted.

On another occasion, my partner and I were preparing to work in the yard when a pair of JW little old ladies walked up to witness. My partner is a bit older than I, and he started his reply "well, my husband andI...". Their mouths dropped open, and they walked away agast. We haven't seen the JW's since.

 

[Pye]

Go for it I have done it. I've answered the door in my speedo and told them that them trying to convert me upset the flying bowl of spagetti and they should leave. They never came back hahaha

Don't blaspheme the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

 

[SR_Thistlewoode Thrilldrille]

In my apartment complex I am constantly hassled by religious door to door people who always want to talk to me about God. It's usually either two girls or 2 guys and I always tell them I am uninterested, but sure enough in a couple of days a new set of 2 will come back.

Sometimes I just really feel like messing with them. Answering the door naked, in a towel, boxer briefs, short bball shorts, etc.. I know this will probably be offensive but instead of being constantly hassled by these people maybe I should have some fun with them. What do you guys think? Anyone ever done this?

it might just make them want to save you even more, i suggest posting a note on your door for no soliciting.

 

[rogue_mj]

i once invited them in, and as they gleefully sat on my couch, I went and grabbed my bible, and a paper and pen, and sat down. I waited for the first guy to start talking about, "Do I know Jesus", I then asked " Do YOU know Jesus?" He smiled and reached into a satchel and started hauling out a bunch of paper flyer literature.

As he reached out to hand me the flyers, I smiled back, and said
" I am soooooo glad you have come. It provides me an opportunnity to explain being born again in the holy spirit, I am convinced that within just a FEW HOURS, I will have you praising the lord and speaking in tongues, that the spirit will move within them and direct them to part from their sinning ways....."

They both coughed, stood, and began edging out the lounge, toward the door, saying perhaps today was not a good day, and perhaps could they return some other time when they had a bit more time.......

Never heard from then again, nor have I ever had a JW come back to my door.....

 

[SpeedoMike]

just tell them that would you like for them to NEVER come back to your home! tell them to that you don't want anymore witnesses to return! that should be enough to get them to stop coming...that is what my aunt did and they stopped!

they were visiting my neighbor on Sunday mornings and didn't get the hint to stop. so he answered the door half asleep and full nakey. THAT finally stopped them.

 

[FRE]

i once invited them in, and as they gleefully sat on my couch, I went and grabbed my bible, and a paper and pen, and sat down. I waited for the first guy to start talking about, "Do I know Jesus", I then asked " Do YOU know Jesus?" He smiled and reached into a satchel and started hauling out a bunch of paper flyer literature.

As he reached out to hand me the flyers, I smiled back, and said
" I am soooooo glad you have come. It provides me an opportunnity to explain being born again in the holy spirit, I am convinced that within just a FEW HOURS, I will have you praising the lord and speaking in tongues, that the spirit will move within them and direct them to part from their sinning ways....."

They both coughed, stood, and began edging out the lounge, toward the door, saying perhaps today was not a good day, and perhaps could they return some other time when they had a bit more time.......

Never heard from then again, nor have I ever had a JW come back to my door.....

Very good.

Once, when a couple of them came to the house, my late mother stated that we were quite satisfied with our own church. One of them said, "Don't you think you should keep an open mind?" Mum replied, "Yes, I think that we should all keep an open mind. Let me get some literature about the Episcopal church." It turned out that they were not interested in keeping an open mind and left.

 

[FRE]

just tell them that would you like for them to NEVER come back to your home! tell them to that you don't want anymore witnesses to return! that should be enough to get them to stop coming...that is what my aunt did and they stopped!

Although they can be annoying and heavy-handed, I do believe in being courteous. One can discourage them without being rude; I have found ways to do so.

 

[NCbear]

A friend and her husband once invited a couple of JWs to take a bath with them. Big, sincere, open, warmhearted invitation. They wondered for a while after that why the JWs left so soon. :biggrin1:

NCbear (who wants to know why, if there's a gay agenda of some sort, pairs of drag queens don't undulate across America's heartland prosleytizing among the non-gay )

 

[invisibleman]

There was a Mormon scientist who did genealogical and forensics research on the link in between Mormons and Native Americans. That fact was a cornerstone of the Latter Day Saints.

It was found out that there weren't any DNA linkages to Native Americans and Mormons. That researcher was soo disappointed in his findings that he basically left the church.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV1C6UdOUbc&feature=related

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tl6OoeJ8nM&feature=related

 

[Sergeant_Torpedo]

A Jehova's Witness called last week during a torrential downpour. He was drenched, so I invited him in, gave him a towel and put the kettle on. Handing him his coffee I asked what did he want to discuss with me. He answered, "I don't know I've never gotten this far before!" :smile: