Jehova's Witness This!

[Ed69]

Being nipped by lobsters can be fun!If it's done at the right moment.

 

[LeeEJ]

Mormon missionaries will deny this, but they mark homes (the curb, window sill, top of your font door frame, whatever) with a recognizable sign regarding who lives in your home. The Elders representing the local ward and "Bishopbric" do this same thing. It lets them know if you're friendly, Republican, worship Satan, a Baptist, gay, etc. Next time any of you LSPG-ers scare them off with a shot gun, check the next day to see if there's anything "different" about the front of your house or front yard, sidewalk and curb.

Details, man, details -- if I ever move out of my condo, I want to pre-mark my place so I'm never tempted to beat the shit out of them. I can pretend to be a Satan-worshipping gay Baptist Republican "friend of Dorothy" with a concealed carry permit. :biggrin1:

 

[Water dragon]

My sister and I share a deep distorted mind which gets us great marks in drama and a lot of weird face on the street when we are together…

My sister and I had the house to our selves once and we saw the Jehovah Witnesses door knockers gathering at the stop of our street so we both picked a window one each side of the door and pressed our buts to the window mooned them as they walked to the door. We were 10 years old. They did come back for 5 years.

When we were 15, they approached our house again; my sister went to the window near the door and screamed in some alien tong from another planet (to be specific "bahlalalaala!") and disappeared waving her hands down the hallway a second later; I opened the door and said "I'm sorry, my sister gets excited when company comes around" in a low tone and glazed face. They were like 'ah ok'. I said "do come in" and making a large gesture inside then started making arm moments towards them like a wizard trying to command them by making weird noises and fingers waving about. They started to retreat and my sister fuzzed up her hair and ran to the door screaming in her animal Muppet voice yelling "bub Bye!"

It has been more than 5 years since then so maybe they will come back...

I suggest if you don't want to be as strange as me and my sister, just flash them your blood donor card and show them your two fingers and blow a raspberry and shut the door.

I don’t like the idea someone need to go to your house questioning your beliefs when you can obviously make an educated decision by yourself what to believe in.
What happened to a friend, she had a door knocker and they had a child with them and it was obvious to her that they used the kid as a device to try to sell the idea to people, and the poor kid himself was board so what she did was said to the kid to go play with the toys in the front yard while the older people talked. There was no talking and they left….

 

[LeeEJ]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hfFyGtbXwM&NR=1

I wonder if they plan ahead enough to defend against stuff like this...

 

[DirtyAngel]

I'm actually impressed that so many people are fed up with this like I am. Just never understood why some people just push religion on you.

"I like lobster, but do i go around pushing Lobster on people?" Larry David

I was raised as a JW, it's nothing to do with caring about you or whether you get to live after Armageddon, it's because it is a requirement of the church to do your hours, they have time sheets to fill in! And are reprimanded if they fail their hours without good reason (and good reason to them is different to what good reason would be to you or I), if they continued to fail their hours, they'd eventually be disfellowshipped.

Bare in mind that as JW's you are not allowed any worldly associations (anyone not a JW is worldly!), so that means on being disfellowshipped you are then left out alone in the world and know no one, as well as having a fear of ever associating with the worldly people you have now been thrown out in to (like being thrown to the wolves), because all you've ever been taught is how you will face eternal death if you become worldly or associate with worldly people.

Someone said this was the worst trait for the organisation, I personally believe allowing children to die because the parents must refuse a blood transfusion for their child based on the dictates of men that claim to be the direct word of God despite numerously changing their doctrines or beliefs because they got it wrong (didn't think God was capable of getting it wrong) is one of the more appalling reasons for not joining the organisation.

And the other reason being the rule to instruct the congregation that in the event of crime being committed against them by another member of the organisation they should keep it within the congregation and report it to an elder and not to the police. In many cases of child abuse this has resulted in a meeting between elders and victim and abuser. The elders have no professional training to deal with child abuse cases, yet assume the responsibility. The child must produce 2 witnesses of the accused crime (which normally is impossible for abuse) or they are called liars and disciplined themselves. The abuser even if proven guilty is requested to pray for his sins with the elders and the victim to pray for forgiveness for the abuser. Then the victim is sent back home to carry on as before even if the abuser lives in the same home as them.

As for a beaten or abused wife, she is not allowed to separate or divorce from her husband no matter what he has done to her, even when evidence is provided.

And these are just a few examples of why I don't like the JW's - though I don't like referring to them as a religion because according to the definition of a cult they tick all the boxes, and are widely recognised as such by many secular organisations that deal with cults. The JW's will argue that they are not a cult as they are a registered religion, but it is very common for cults to register as religions so they can practice freedom of their beliefs in situations where the law or courts would often stop someone having such actions or decisions (such as JW's refusing blood transfusions)

 

[FRE]

I don't have a problem with anyone who wants to share his or her faith. However, I DO have a problem with people who are overly aggressive and insist that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong and is going to hell.

Some people insist that what they are saying is not their idea, but rather, that God said it and that they are simply repeating it. Some of them insist that every word in the Bible is directly from God and that anyone who disagrees is rejecting God's very word. Obviously they are picking and choosing while denying that they are doing so and while denying the right of others to pick and choose.

It's especially bizarre that sometimes two groups of Christians will mutually anathematize each other and each insist that the other is going straight to hell.

 

[D_Navengil Nutroll]

closest story i have to this was having chinese food delivered once, and i answered the door in tight boxer briefs. the delivery boy def noticed what i had downstairs. it was fun.

 

[B_dxjnorto]

closest story i have to this was having chinese food delivered once, and i answered the door in tight boxer briefs. the delivery boy def noticed what i had downstairs. it was fun.

I like your story much better than the others.

 

[wellhung9]

I wish I was a Jehovah's witness for Halloween when I was younger. That would of been pretty funny going door to door "trick or treating."

 

[SirConcis]

Did you know that Mormons have special underwear designed to prevent any VPL ? They are supposed to wear that.

 

[maxcok]

Did you know that Mormons have special underwear designed to prevent any VPL ? They are supposed to wear that.

They wear Holy underwear that prevents spewing.*

> Mormon Underwear <​

* Not to be confused with holey underwear.​

.

 

[arched]

I don't have a problem with anyone who wants to share his or her faith. However, I DO have a problem with people who are overly aggressive and insist that anyone who disagrees with them is wrong and is going to hell.

Some people insist that what they are saying is not their idea, but rather, that God said it and that they are simply repeating it. Some of them insist that every word in the Bible is directly from God and that anyone who disagrees is rejecting God's very word. Obviously they are picking and choosing while denying that they are doing so and while denying the right of others to pick and choose.

I especially know this all too well. I attended Church & School at an Assemblies of God, Pentecostal. They are particularly strict about their beliefs. I was told on more than one occasion that I was going to hell. Guess how that affected a child in elementary.

Anway, I went to a graduation party with some of those that judged me to be defective. There was marijuana smoking and underaged drinking taking place.
I PROMTLY reminded them of their folly, and invited those who were uncomfortale for a ride home. It felt good to put them back in their place.

 

[570828]

I answered naked and it only took a couple times before there whole church knew to not knock on my door! It was fun actually!

 

[invisibleman]

Did you know that Mormons have special underwear designed to prevent any VPL? They are supposed to wear that.

You didn't see any VPL? I saw plenty in the Mormons that visited me. Those beyotches must've went commando. I learned more about johnson...than Joseph Smith and Jesus on the elders' visits.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Ugh the same elderly JW's keep stopping by. They are definitely filling up their time sheets and God is really going to want them in heaven now.

I think it's hell on earth to be spending your retirement years walking door to door waking up young people who are trying to sleep in.

 

[invisibleman]

I think it's hell on earth to be spending your retirement years walking door to door waking up young people who are trying to sleep in.

Heaven help us if they start selling TUPPERWARE, AVON and AMWAY...then, segue into *BAM!* "Wouldja like a WATCHTOWER and an AWAKE pamphlet?"

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

Oh and selling juices of unknown fruits.....

And God forbid---- Kirby Vacuums

 

[jackhappy]

In my apartment complex I am constantly hassled by religious door to door people who always want to talk to me about God. It's usually either two girls or 2 guys and I always tell them I am uninterested, but sure enough in a couple of days a new set of 2 will come back.

Sometimes I just really feel like messing with them. Answering the door naked, in a towel, boxer briefs, short bball shorts, etc.. I know this will probably be offensive but instead of being constantly hassled by these people maybe I should have some fun with them. What do you guys think? Anyone ever done this?

Be careful of the amount of clothing you have on. Could be considered as "indecent exposure" to police if the JWs choose to report you. Why not just don't answer the door???

 

[oralfixation58]

I had them cum by everyday around 1pm. I had just gotten to sleep as I was on night shift. It got rather annoying so as I sleep naked I got up went to the door holding a hard on and said sorry I `m not intersted so please don`t come back. They were 2 ladies always one older one and the younger one was eyeing my cock but they never came back.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

If someone had a naked cock in your face you'd be looking too. It is sort of shocking since most of us never see one from strangers in public like that. Especially the Witnesses and the Morons.