jerkoff by older man

[SomeGuyOverThere]

I agree with the comments already on - don't let what some sick bastard did to you years ago control who you are now.

The past has happened, it's over and done with and the seconds that are right now are ticking away to join them. The future is yours, the past is finished, and the present is all you can change.

 

[Snozzle]

A lot of good advice here, I don't know if this is more.

You've set down "99% straight" which is probably truthful (I'm always suspicious of "100%" here.). So here was a man who succeeded in making you cum, right at the beginning of your sexual life. That would tend to throw your self-image as straight into doubt. It needn't, because at 12 a guy is new to being horny and anything will set you off.

But my telling you won't be enough to reassure you of that; I agree with those who say you should get professional help.