Jesus returns in a few days

[ColoradoGuy]

Anyone who is interested can get the calculations of the Reverend Harold Camping (yes, that is his name: he is Camping) straight from the horse's, um, mouth right here. Here are some extracts. (CAUTION: INTENSE STUPIDITY FOLLOWS. Paying attention to it may cause your brain to burst into flame!) First, here is the scheme of history:

Some of his calculations:

Thanks for posting, Calboner. I always find it interesting when Christian preachers employ essentially numerology to resolve what is meant by certain passages in the Bible. Especially since numerology is defined in the Free Dictionary as:

nu·mer·ol·o·gy -n. The study of the occult meanings of numbers and their supposed influence on human life.

Perhaps this quote from Isiah 47:10-14 would be of interest to Rev. Camping:

"…For you have trusted in your wickedness… Therefore evil shall come upon you… trouble shall fall upon you… Let now the astrologers, the stargazers, And the monthly prognosticators stand up and save you from what shall come upon you. Behold, they shall be as stubble, The fire shall burn them; They shall not deliver themselves from the power of the flame…"

God pretty much rebukes Israel for thinking they can outguess Him. Even the New Testament (Galatians 5:20-21 and Acts 13:9-11) is pretty explicit about those that practice the deception of witchcraft and sorcery.

And then, there's the one quote -- again from the Bible -- that pretty much guarantees that Rev. Camping is full of er... speculation and false knowledge (that is, if you subscribe to literalism -- which I think most of these apocalyptic Christians do). From Matthew 24:36:

"But of that day and hour knoweth no one, not even the angels of heaven, neither the Son, but the Father only."

So, unless Rev. Camping is saying HE is God...

 

[parr]

Thanks for posting, Calboner. I always find it interesting when Christian preachers employ essentially numerology to resolve what is meant by certain passages in the Bible. Especially since numerology is defined in the Free Dictionary as:
Perhaps this quote from Isiah 47:10-14 would be of interest to Rev. Camping:

God pretty much rebukes Israel for thinking they can outguess Him. Even the New Testament (Galatians 5:20-21 and Acts 13:9-11) is pretty explicit about those that practice the deception of witchcraft and sorcery.

And then, there's the one quote -- again from the Bible -- that pretty much guarantees that Rev. Camping is full of er... speculation and false knowledge (that is, if you subscribe to literalism -- which I think most of these apocalyptic Christians do). From Matthew 24:36:

So, unless Rev. Camping is saying HE is God...

Good job ColoradoGuy.

 

[hot-rod]

The Bible says that not even the Angels or the Son of Man know the day and the time of the Second Coming, so how can this preacher be so preposterous as to claim that he knows the date....?

because he is just like Moses was; a real nut case. Moses was definitely smokin' the good stuff. lol Remember all those good poppys that have been growing there for thousands of year? They were smokin' 'em!

 

[parr]

because he is just like Moses was; a real nut case. Moses was definitely smokin' the good stuff. lol Remember all those good poppys that have been growing there for thousands of year? They were smokin' 'em!

Moses, one of the greats over stepped his authority by touching
the ground to bring water for the multitude with his staff when he
should of asked first. but God honored that anyway, but costed
him from ever seeing the promised land. Joshua led them the rest
of the way.:smile:

 

[B_Hickboy]

because he is just like Moses was; a real nut case. Moses was definitely smokin' the good stuff. lol Remember all those good poppys that have been growing there for thousands of year? They were smokin' 'em!

No place else but TEXAS!!!

 

[B_Nick8]

The Moderators do not play favorites.

How long have you been here?

 

[798686]

Anyone who is interested can get the calculations of the Reverend Harold Camping (yes, that is his name: he is Camping) straight from the horse's, um, mouth right here. Here are some extracts. (CAUTION: INTENSE STUPIDITY FOLLOWS. Paying attention to it may cause your brain to burst into flame!) First, here is the scheme of history:

Some of his calculations:

Nooo! I just can't. :redface:

 

[Calboner]

American Jesus interviews Gunther von Harringa, Sr., president of Bible Ministries International, which seems to be affiliated with or part of or the parent of Harold Camping's Family Radio:

Interviewer: Just for the sake of argument, if God does indeed choose to change his mind and delay Judgment Day, how would your group proceed? Is the Mayan date of December 21, 2012 a possible backup date in case May 21st doesn’t turn out to be the end of all things?

Harringa: No, the Mayan calendar has nothing to do with the Bible. God will not change His mind because He has given us the accurate date in order for genuine believers to warn their families, friends, and the world at large, as He commands in Eze. 33:7, So thou, O son of man, I have set thee a watchman unto the house of Israel; therefore thou shalt hear the word at my mouth, and warn them from me. There are also no other “back-up dates” because the Bible guarantees this with many proofs and much evidence…it WILL happen, and NOTHING can prevent it.

Interviewer: Once again, just for the sake of argument, if God does change His mind and delay His plans, then would you be willing to conduct a follow up interview with us, or if they do turn out as you have told everyone they will, could we go ahead and set up an interview in heaven?

Harringa: Because of the utter devastation that will engulf the entire world an interview would be virtually impossible; moreover, by God’s mercy, I don’t plan on being here.

I can't help being curious to know what bilge this moron will be spewing on May 22.

 

[nudeyorker]

Thanks for posting that Cal, I shall wait to see what he has to say also. But I'm going to go have my hair highlighted and trimmed; just in case.

 

[Intrigue]

Thank God

Don't ya mean thank...Satan? Lol

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

Hmmm...should I wear my red dress..... or my black dress??? Decisions, decisions....

 

[nudeyorker]

Hmmm...should I wear my red dress..... or my black dress??? Decisions, decisions....

Well if you need any fashion advice let me know, I'm wearing my white starched Hermes shirt, and my (good) navy blazer and blue jeans and my crocodile loafers and dark glasses.

 

[MASSIVEPKGO_CHUCK]

Nah, ain't nothing happening- a few showers and somev heat, according to the weather channel, but other than that, same day as ever.

 

[Intrigue]

American Jesus interviews Gunther von Harringa, Sr., president of Bible Ministries International, which seems to be affiliated with or part of or the parent of Harold Camping's Family Radio:



I can't help being curious to know what bilge this moron will be spewing on May 22.

Lol who knows, except that it will be filled with utter ridiculousness. I'm more concerned about a fucking meteor hitting the planet then I am about this idiot. I'm mire interested to see what will happen on the planetary alignment that takes place on that Mayan date. I think something may be observable or even measurable but who knows.

 

[willow78]

I won't bother dressing up - I've been told He loves me the way I am.

Plus with the time-difference, I might still be asleep in my PJs. If he's going to wake me up, he better make me breakfast in bed first.

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

Well if you need any fashion advice let me know, I'm wearing my white starched Hermes shirt, and my (good) navy blazer and blue jeans and my crocodile loafers and dark glasses.

:arms: We should walk in together.... both dresses are identical with one exception... The red dress has a high round neck collar; the black dress is V-neck to the bra-line..... what do you suggest fitting to meet the King??:240:

 

[PhoenixInvictus]

It's not just 1 preacher It's a lot of people. And I've been hearing the world is going to end, nothing about jesus coming back. It's all so stupid. I see the idiots in the subway in NYC walking around and telling everyone we have a few weeks until it all ends. And when they finally have to shut the fuck up... which is on the 22nd, they'll pick the entire year of 2012... CONVENIENT!

 

[PhoenixInvictus]

On second thought tho... it would make a hell of a theme party to "CUM TO MY END OF THE WORLD PARTY"!!! . WHOA there might be a lot of parties that I can go to on that day.

 

[nudeyorker]

:arms: We should walk in together.... both dresses are identical with one exception... The red dress has a high round neck collar; the black dress is V-neck to the bra-line..... what do you suggest fitting to meet the King??:240:

Show some skin. You really can't go wrong with black... although red has it's merits. Ummmmmm Black... definitely the black, but make sure to wear pumps that show toe cleavage.

 

[D_Kitten_Kaboodle]

It's not just 1 preacher It's a lot of people. And I've been hearing the world is going to end, nothing about jesus coming back. It's all so stupid. I see the idiots in the subway in NYC walking around and telling everyone we have a few weeks until it all ends. And when they finally have to shut the fuck up... which is on the 22nd, they'll pick the entire year of 2012... CONVENIENT!

Some people just gotta have SOMETHING to get them through the day............................

Show some skin. You really can't go wrong with black... although red has it's merits. Ummmmmm Black... definitely the black, but make sure to wear pumps that show toe cleavage.

I got the heels... check out my Indoor Fun pic....will those heels do, hon?
and... dear me... I almost forgot... jewelry... let's see (heart shaped toe ring..that outta be good; diamond or pearl necklace?? and earrings?? should I really go with the hoochy hoops or classic small loops??)

I'm so glad you are helping me get dressed.... for the King!! (not Elvis, either) :biggrin1: