JL King downlow bisexuality

[Principessa]

Here is a site run by one of our own members biguy2738 who happens to be bisexual,married
and is my best friend!
Anyway he has written some amazing blogs telling about his journey on the road to being bisexual.
Everyone should read these blogs!
THANKS SHYBI-GUYS - Bisexual / Bicurious Men Forums, Chat and Advice

Blogs from biguy2738 Start at the beginning!
http://www.lpsg.org/blogs/biguy2738/the-bottomless-pit-called-depression-374/
http://www.lpsg.org/blogs/biguy2738/does-freedom-come-price-part-379/

C.B.:saevil:

Thank you for posting that site! I wondered where biguy2738 had gone, as I had been missing him for a while.

 

[B_BadBoyBilly]

blkbro-Down low does not mean that someone is bisexual. There are lots of brothas who are down low or on the DL and they are gay. It is obvious that you are one of them.

 

[B_BadBoyBilly]

My two cents for what it's worth.

"And in all actuality downlow is the informal word for bisexuality so it does include anyone and everyone from any and every race and gender. "

I don't think so. On the DL to me means noone can find out. Keep it on the DL. A married man who is actually gay who has discreet affairs with men can be having them on the DL regardless of color.

Or a guy that isn't married but is known to the outside world generally as straight. He fucks around with other guys "on the DL" meaning he wants noone to find out. He enjoys maintaining the straight label.

The one who is married and on the DL is the worst because generally their spouses do not know and if they do know I have no problem with it. But the spouses that do not know, DL is the same as having affairs she does not know about.

As far as the single guy that does it on the DL, personal choice I guess. But it is still being deceitful to the women he sleeps with, especially since if they knew they may not sleep with him again.

I have no problem with bisexuals whatsoever. I do have problems with people on the DL.

Flip the sexes for women. Same thing.

Very well said. Downlow is a secret thing. It has nothing to do with being bisexual or gay. Straight women and men who have flings/affairs can be on the DL too. ALso that guy who was on Oprah needs to realize that black heterosexuals do a fine job of spreading HIV/AIDS among themselves since they do not use condoms.

 

[Principessa]

blkbro-Down low does not mean that someone is bisexual. There are lots of brothas who are down low or on the DL and they are gay. It is obvious that you are one of them.

Oh thank God! :redface: I didn't want to be the one to say it. People get mad and accuse me of being homophobic when I point out the obvious. The OP's %'s are definetely way off. :smile:

 

[Bbucko]

DL is another way of saying "closet case". As such, there is nothing specifically Black about it, as closet cases are lying pieces of shit irrespective of their race, ethnicity or gender. Are there added pressures to conform to a mythic standard of masculinity on the part of men of color? Of course! But it's internally driven in part because being gay or bisexual is seen as a white thing, somehow, within communities of color. There's little if anything I as a middle-aged white guy can do to change that.

What I can do is encourage anyone who wants to broaden his/her sexual horizons to actually do so, openly and with pride not only in one's self but with confidence that the acts themselves are healthy and positive expressions of his/her innate sexuality; anything less just pushes folks back into the immoral, self-loathing closet of fear and regret.

FWIW, the rise in HIV infections within the African American community is actually rather complicated. Although the majority of new infections occur through unprotected bisexual contact, there is a large percentage (upwards of 30%) that occur through IV drug use and the sharing of works (needles, etc) and involve no homo/bisexual sexual contact whatsoever. There are many issues involved here and cannot be ascribed entirely to risky sex.

 

[B_BadBoyBilly]

DL is another way of saying "closet case". As such, there is nothing specifically Black about it, as closet cases are lying pieces of shit irrespective of their race, ethnicity or gender. Are there added pressures to conform to a mythic standard of masculinity on the part of men of color? Of course! But it's internally driven in part because being gay or bisexual is seen as a white thing, somehow, within communities of color. There's little if anything I as a middle-aged white guy can do to change that.

What I can do is encourage anyone who wants to broaden his/her sexual horizons to actually do so, openly and with pride not only in one's self but with confidence that the acts themselves are healthy and positive expressions of his/her innate sexuality; anything less just pushes folks back into the immoral, self-loathing closet of fear and regret.

FWIW, the rise in HIV infections within the African American community is actually rather complicated. Although the majority of new infections occur through unprotected bisexual contact, there is a large percentage (upwards of 30%) that occur through IV drug use and the sharing of works (needles, etc) and involve no homo/bisexual sexual contact whatsoever. There are many issues involved here and cannot be ascribed entirely to risky sex.

This is total bullshit. Bisexuals do not spread HIV/AIDS. You are living in the stone age of the 1980s if you actually foolishly believe this. Straight people in North America do a fine job of spreading HIV to each other and let's not get started on how lots of Poz gay men are completely ignorant and have a death wish and think that you can't get other strains of HIV or get cross-infected or reinfected and that everything's fine and dandy when you're Poz and you can stop having safer sex and using condoms. Keep in mind that most people who have HIV in the world are heterosexual, it's a heterosexual disease, and it can just as easily be spread by heterosexual sex as it can by gay/bisexual sex. You're a barebacker and clearly have a death wish and you should not be so ignorant or hypocritical to suggest that safer sex is something that others must do but that you should not. Since you bareback you have knowingly spread and gotten other strains of HIV and other STDs to people. Good job you piece of shit. Men like you are the reasons why heterosexuals and society at large hates homosexuality and still sees HIV/AIDS as a "gay" disease. You could help down low black men or get involved in safer sex campaigns among blacks but this would be actually doing something useful, encouraging people to use condoms and practice safer sex when you yourself do not, and it's so much easier claiming that you can't really do anything or can't change anything and blaming bisexuals for spreading HIV/AIDS when you know damn well that this is biphobia. Go ahead judge all you want. We're all going to die someday and some of us who are Poz will go quicker than the rest.

 

[D_Polidore Pudpounder]

thanks for the blog links man, very interesting reading.

I think the lack of acceptance of bi/gay in the black community maybe comes from the fact that it appears to threaten the family unit (ie. its not about procreation but indulgence?). Its yet another thing that if accepted would harm whatever cohesion we have left.

Also gay 'culture' is very white and a lot of brothers who arent demonstratively 'gay' don't identify with it or want to be a part of it, staying DL keeps it at arms length.

Oh and I think people are getting the term confused. DL = down low = in the closet.
Being bi, in a relationship and seeing someone of the opposite sex as well is called one thing in all cultures : A cheat.

 

[swimmersox]

Thanks ukthomas. Interesting and spot on comments about parsing the terminology here.

Just a small add-note to that: I've noticed recently that here in the US (East Coast urban, at least), the term 'down low'/'DL' seems to be increasingly used among whites as well, referring to themselves, and is ever-lessening as a distinctly Afro-American/Black term. That is probably an unfortunate thing, in the sense that the term may eventually lose its distinctive cultural aspect, if not its sexual one.

 

[D_Polidore Pudpounder]

'there is nothing specifically Black about it' - downlow was a term used by the black community to describe anything covert/private. The fact other races have picked up on it and used it...see Elvis etc. lol.

Agree with your other positive comments though.

DL is another way of saying "closet case". As such, there is nothing specifically Black about it, as closet cases are lying pieces of shit irrespective of their race, ethnicity or gender. Are there added pressures to conform to a mythic standard of masculinity on the part of men of color? Of course! But it's internally driven in part because being gay or bisexual is seen as a white thing, somehow, within communities of color. There's little if anything I as a middle-aged white guy can do to change that.

What I can do is encourage anyone who wants to broaden his/her sexual horizons to actually do so, openly and with pride not only in one's self but with confidence that the acts themselves are healthy and positive expressions of his/her innate sexuality; anything less just pushes folks back into the immoral, self-loathing closet of fear and regret.

FWIW, the rise in HIV infections within the African American community is actually rather complicated. Although the majority of new infections occur through unprotected bisexual contact, there is a large percentage (upwards of 30%) that occur through IV drug use and the sharing of works (needles, etc) and involve no homo/bisexual sexual contact whatsoever. There are many issues involved here and cannot be ascribed entirely to risky sex.

 

[ardus]

Wow
First let me admit I skipped over some of the responses. But this issue is so close to home that I have to respond.


I'm a BI man.

Some women care about it, some don't.

Some Men care about it, some don't.

WE as BI men have to decide, do we want to be hoonest with our partners, or do we want to sleep around on them.


I'm on the side of being honest

if you are not, then hey so be it, but in my 31 years I have not found a situation where honest truth did not work out for me.

Richard

 

[GeniusOfLove]

Why all of the ignorance and biphobia on this site? Bisexual men and women do not spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals or gay men. Lots of bisexuals have open relationships and this is not cheating. Open relationships and having more than one partner or even the Don't ask, Don't Tell type of open relationships are more common in people of all orientations than people want to admit. As far as cheating goes someone's sexuality does not mean that they are going to cheat and gay men and heterosexuals do a damn good job of cheating already.

 

[GeniusOfLove]

Being bi, in a relationship and seeing someone of the opposite sex as well is called one thing in all cultures : A cheat.

Why all of the ignorance and biphobia on this site? Bisexual men and women do not spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals or gay men. Lots of bisexuals have open relationships and this is not cheating. Open relationships and having more than one partner or even the Don't ask, Don't Tell type of open relationships are more common in people of all orientations than people want to admit. As far as cheating goes someone's sexuality does not mean that they are going to cheat and gay men and heterosexuals do a damn good job of cheating already.

 

[GeniusOfLove]

Guys who are closeted and who call themselves "straight" when they are really bisexual or even gay do have major issues and I'm sure this website is crawling with them and they'll post tons of excuses and denial about it.

 

[blkbro510]

I'm so proud of you guys for keeping this running without me. Good work, keep on going. Because this guy is coming out with possiblely more products and TOUR!

Have you guys did the search on youtube and see all the "signs" of catching a bi-guy?

I'm glad that you guys like the blogs I searched, I've submited these blogs to other bloggers so hopefully things will pick up for these writers.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Why all of the ignorance and biphobia on this site? Bisexual men and women do not spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals or gay men. Lots of bisexuals have open relationships and this is not cheating. Open relationships and having more than one partner or even the Don't ask, Don't Tell type of open relationships are more common in people of all orientations than people want to admit. As far as cheating goes someone's sexuality does not mean that they are going to cheat and gay men and heterosexuals do a damn good job of cheating already.

I do think that since feminism has become the dominate relationship POV, women define how men and women should relate. To women, being on the DL is "cheating". The reality is though that bisexual men are not able to pursue relationships with other men. It's against how women feel relationships should be. Most women will not accept open relationships, so if a guy wants to be married and have kids and wants to explore his bisexual side, then he's screwed. In our culture, bisexuality is not an appropriate way to live.

 

[blkbro510]

Hung Jon, great point and here's something I'll add to this. It's amazing that some women would rather not have a kids with a bisexual men, but lately, some women, would want to have babies with gay men.

that's interesting to me? Just can't put my finger on way though (I've been reading since 7:20am this morning)

I do think that since feminism has become the dominate relationship POV, women define how men and women should relate. To women, being on the DL is "cheating". The reality is though that bisexual men are not able to pursue relationships with other men. It's against how women feel relationships should be. Most women will not accept open relationships, so if a guy wants to be married and have kids and wants to explore his bisexual side, then he's screwed. In our culture, bisexuality is not an appropriate way to live.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

Hung Jon, great point and here's something I'll add to this. It's amazing that some women would rather not have a kids with a bisexual men, but lately, some women, would want to have babies with gay men.

that's interesting to me? Just can't put my finger on way though (I've been reading since 7:20am this morning)

I think it's because some women see gay guys as being honest and forthright about what their responsibilities would be in terms of being a father, or even how they would handle that arrangement. I think there's a basic distrust of bisexual men in many cultures because they (we) are more ambiguous about where we stand sexually and emotionally. If a bisexual male can love either a woman or a man, then how can he be relied upon to have a preference? He can't. No preference, no emotional clarity or stability in terms of commitment.

 

[Principessa]

I think it's because some women see gay guys as being honest and forthright about what their responsibilities would be in terms of being a father, or even how they would handle that arrangement. I think there's a basic distrust of bisexual men in many cultures because they (we) are more ambiguous about where we stand sexually and emotionally. If a bisexual male can love either a woman or a man, then how can he be relied upon to have a preference? He can't. No preference, no emotional clarity or stability in terms of commitment.

BINGO! I think you may have just hit the nail on the head. Plus, for every monogamous bisexual man or woman there are probably 5 more who arenot monogamous, yet tell their partner they are. :frown1: It's those people who lie and cheat who make it hard for honest bisexuals.

As a straight woman I have to admit I would find it at best disconcerting, to know that my man craved cock as much as I did. Notice I did not say repugnant or repulsive. I enjoy gay porn and years ago even had a 3some with 2 bi-guys which I enjoyed immensely. But I don't think I would want to date a bi-guy. I think it has to do with competition and my monogamous nature, I can compete with another woman. I can't compete with a man.

 

[D_Polidore Pudpounder]

You're confusing the term 'DL' for 'Open Relationship', two different things my friend.

Why all of the ignorance and biphobia on this site? Bisexual men and women do not spread HIV/AIDS to heterosexuals or gay men. Lots of bisexuals have open relationships and this is not cheating. Open relationships and having more than one partner or even the Don't ask, Don't Tell type of open relationships are more common in people of all orientations than people want to admit. As far as cheating goes someone's sexuality does not mean that they are going to cheat and gay men and heterosexuals do a damn good job of cheating already.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

The terms people are interchanging here really don't have anything to do with being bisexual or homosexual. DL simply refers to an act being covert or secreted away.
NJ I did notice that you didn't use the word repugnant wich you have used to characterize men who are bisexual in the past. I honestly don't see what the big frigging deal is with people perceiving that bisexuals are somehow less capable of being in a stable relationship with another man,woman or indeed with one of each all living in the same house! Ian the Tall is one of those men who is involved {or was} with a person of each sex and according to what I read from his blogging he didn't seem to have any more problems with his lovers than most couples do.
I do find that what Bad billy said to Uncle Bucky was and is total hogwash.
Such fear and hate mongering shouldn't be allowed here.
Ooh he was banned! How about that!
C.B.:saevil: