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Jo Gay Buddy - Is This Cheating?

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by Rafaa, Aug 27, 2019.

  1. Rafaa

    Rafaa Experimental Member

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    Me and my gay best friend quite often jerk off with each other (no touching, just watching porn and each one is jerking only his dick). Our dicks are out and sometimes we are looking at each other cumming.

    The problem is that we both have boyfriends who don't know what we are doing.

    I like doing this with him and I don't consider this as a cheating (and he doesn't as well). I think jerking off together make our friendship closer. We are commenting porn, sharing exprience and talking about techniques. We both have always huuge loads doing this together, because of waiting to not come too fast, to enjoy the moment with my buddy.

    Do you think it is okay? Is that cheating? We both don't feel attracted to each other. Maybe you guys have similar expirence with your gay buds?
     
    Rafy13 likes this.
  2. Eastsport

    Eastsport Expert Member

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    If your bfs don't know about it and you fail to tell them, it's a sign that you feel your actions are wrong and telling may jeopardize what you have.

    Just a thought
     
  3. 328982

    328982 Guest

    It's a kind of cheating in my book because your partners don’t know about it. But not for me to say if it's okay or wrong, that's your and your partners' call.

    ETA: I do have a really good old friend from school who I share stuff with, like who we fancy or maybe a porn link or pic occasionally, but I wouldn’t be embarrassed if my bf or his husband overheard us or whatever. It feels innocent. No jerk offs or anything like it. But I'm quite prudish. I can see that a j/o session with some would be nothing, like sharing a box of chocolates. So again, your call.
     
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  4. Tbprivate

    Tbprivate Admired Member

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    You evidently think it’s wrong to do this without your BF’s knowledge and you’re keeping it from him as he’ll probably not be happy about it.

    Would you be upset if you learnt that your BF had been doing similar things with one of his friends?

    Conversely when I was in a long-term relationship and my BF was at work I’d sometimes exchange dick pics with guys online and I considered this harmless as we made no bodily contact, my BF wouldn’t have been happy if he’d know.
     
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  5. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Superior Member

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    If it's not cheating, why keep it a secret?

    You are both deluding yourselves.
     
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  6. cedarizzo

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    This is cheating. You are sharing a very emotional sexual experience with somebody who isn't your partner. And you know it is cheating by the fact that you don't share this with your partner and you have to keep it a secret.

    When I was in a relationship with my ex, both of us would talk to many different guys on the internet. Usually it was just normal chat, but sometimes it would turn to sex and exchanging pics. Even though we never planned on having sex with the other guys, my ex would get mad that I had been talking to the other guys and showing my dick. (We never talked about how he had been doing the same thing because it didn't bother me.) This became a problem for us because he still considered it cheating and I realized how much it upset him. I stopped the talking and sharing because I didn't want to hurt him. Unfortunately the damage was done and he never forgave me for it. That was the beginning of the end of our relationship.
     
  7. Bull9in

    Bull9in Loved Member

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    If you didn't think it was cheating, you wouldn't be asking us here.
     
  8. Drew yebs

    Drew yebs Expert Member

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    It’s not cheating...it’s just you looking for a way out of your current relationship.
     
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  9. Brian S

    Brian S Worshipped Member

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    "Hey, our boyfriends don't know this but we secretly get together behind their backs to get off together. Is this cheating?"

    Come on, dude.
     
  10. Rafaa

    Rafaa Experimental Member

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    Ok guys, thanks for answers. Maybe it will change a little bit the fact that we are living in 2 different countries and meeting every 2 months for couple days.
    Moreover I had similar jo buddies when I was teenager and my friends were straight and I was just looking at this like this innocent behaviour to just enjoy "adult" stuff with your best buddy, without desire to do anything else with him. So it's just looking like in porn but without touching
     
  11. Brian S

    Brian S Worshipped Member

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    No, the frequency of the event has nothing to do with it. Having a JO buddy is fantastic; I've had a few myself! But being in that situation without your partners knowing is not a good idea.
     
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  12. WebMale80

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    Genital caressing to orgasm is cheating. Period
     
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  13. cedarizzo

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    I have no idea about where you live compared to them or how often you get together would change the fact that it is still cheating. If you seriously believe that you are not cheating, then you should tell your boyfriend. Maybe you can work out an open relationship deal with your boyfriend and then you can j/o all you want with your friend. Otherwise, you know you are cheating and just looking for somebody to tell you it is okay (which it isn't!)
     
  14. ofpuredesire

    ofpuredesire Admired Member

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    As all the others have said, I find this sketchy and would definitely be alarmed to find out my partner was doing this without telling me. If a partner asked, I'd be fine with this, though. Maybe you should have a conversation with your partner! Not sure how long you've been together, but you should be able to talk openly and honestly with someone you're you're dating.....

    Oh, and if your partner approves, make sure your friend's partner approves too, or you're just helping him cheat! :yum
     
  15. SkiCop

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    if i was your BF i would be ok with this but, i'd want to know......
     
  16. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Superior Member

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    If it is so innocent, why haven't you told your partner?
     
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  17. Infernal

    Gold Member Platinum Gold

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    It seems like innocent fun, but it’s also shady and shows a lack of communication with your partners.
     
  18. 822034

    822034 Guest

    It's cheating...plain and simple!
     
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  19. blknudist

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    I don't think it's cheating but I also don't think u should be hiding it from ur bf..
     
  20. 822034

    822034 Guest

    If you have to hide it from your partner, then it is cheating.
     
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