Job applications - need advice

[D_Bubba_Butter]

So, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Chief Rabbi are both retiring...

Do you think it would be acceptable for me to apply for both vacancies?
And will growing a beard improve my chances?

Bless you all. Shalom Aleichem.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

I would say your chances are excellent, Zyz.
And sure ... the beard can only help.
You demonstrate a sense of strategy that should make both teams want to bring you on board.

 

[erratic]

Growing a beard could only improve your chances. Magnificent, flowing beards are reminiscent of Moses, and the Moses look has ever been en vogue for religious leaders. With the exception of popes, who seem to be hewing to the Emperor Palpatine look these days.

And hey, if you grow the beard and don't get the job you could still start a tribute band. ZyZ Top. I can see it now.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

And hey, if you grow the beard and don't get the job you could still start a tribute band. ZyZ Top. I can see it now.

For a statue, you sure do have a great sense of humour.:tongue:

 

[erratic]

For a statue, you sure do have a great sense of humour.:tongue:

It's all the black lotus I've been doing. Stygian! The best!

(No one would sell Haga to a slayer like me...)

 

[Hoss]

So, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Chief Rabbi are both retiring...

Do you think it would be acceptable for me to apply for both vacancies?
And will growing a beard improve my chances?

Bless you all. Shalom Aleichem.

First you must be suitably circumcised, no Chief Rabbi has been able to hold this position without having been circumcised. If you have been circumcised then you must grow a new foreskin and then have it removed. The beard is optional except on high holy days and the Sabbath when you aren't allowed to shave as it is considered work.
You must also know how to read backwards.


The archbishop of Canterbury must look as much like Salman Rushdie as possible (it's scary how similar that Rowan Williams and Sal Rushdie are in looks)

 

[ConanTheBarber]

It's all the black lotus I've been doing. Stygian! The best!

(No one would sell Haga to a slayer like me...)

Careful.
Day of Doom is here. All that is evil, all their allies; your parents, your leaders, those who would call themselves your judges; those who have lied and corrupted the Earth, they shall all be cleansed.

 

[erratic]

Careful.
Day of Doom is here. All that is evil, all their allies; your parents, your leaders, those who would call themselves your judges; those who have lied and corrupted the Earth, they shall all be cleansed.

Careful?

My child, you have come to me my son. For who now is your father if it is not me? I am the well spring from which you flow. When I am gone, you will have never been; what would your world be without me?

My son.

 

[LaFemme]

And hey, if you grow the beard and don't get the job you could still start a tribute band. ZyZ Top. I can see it now.

OMG! You're on fire this morning! :rofl:

 

[erratic]

OMG! You're on fire this morning! :rofl:

Nothing brings out the laffs like a little religious humour! ;D

Well, Zyz can have the Anglicanism and Judaism. In fact, I think he would do great things in his role.

Me? I'm aiming to be pontifex maximus (megas hiereus?) of the Olympian religion. You guys can have your cathedrals and shit. They're gorgeous and all, but Imma get methusos with Dionysos and fuck my brains out up in the hills with all the other bacchantes.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

Careful?

My child, you have come to me my son. For who now is your father if it is not me? I am the well spring from which you flow. When I am gone, you will have never been; what would your world be without me?

My son.

To the hell fires with erratic. He's evil; a sorcerer who can summon demons. His followers' only purpose is to die in his service. Thousands of them.

 

[erratic]

To the hell fires with erratic. He's evil; a sorcerer who can summon demons. His followers' only purpose is to die in his service. Thousands of them.

There comes a time, ConanTheBarber, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a man's love for his large penis.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

There comes a time, ConanTheBarber, when the jewels cease to sparkle, when the gold loses its luster, when the throne room becomes a prison, and all that is left is a man's love for his large penis.

They blow [wahoo!!!] where I live too. In the north of every man's heart.

 

[rayray]

I have nothing to add except your humor and the comments have added a smile and some laughs for the day, thank you all...

 

[Hand_Solo]

If you're gonna apply for the Archbishop of Canterbury, you'd better bone up on those little creme eggs they make; I hear there's a pretty brutal multiple-choice test.

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

If you're gonna apply for the Archbishop of Canterbury, you'd better bone up on those little creme eggs they make; I hear there's a pretty brutal multiple-choice test.

I also have to cover the miracle of the little speckled mini eggs and the resurrection of the Wispa bar.

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

Careful.
Day of Doom is here. All that is evil, all their allies; your parents, your leaders, those who would call themselves your judges; those who have lied and corrupted the Earth, they shall all be cleansed.

I thought this was a bid for ayatollah. Though, sadly, no vacancy at present...

 

[D_Bubba_Butter]

To the hell fires with erratic. He's evil; a sorcerer who can summon demons. His followers' only purpose is to die in his service. Thousands of them.

Clearly all his followers will sacrifice themselves by falling upon his sword...

At least it's not something clandestine & sinister that erratic's got himself mixed up in.

Speaking of which, it would have been useful if the See of Rome had been vacant too. Of course, this is all related to my plans for world domination, so all help most welcome.

 

[ConanTheBarber]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
There is a vacancy for U.S. president in November.
Most of the applicants are appallingly weak.

 

[CUBE]

So, the Archbishop of Canterbury and Chief Rabbi are both retiring...

Do you think it would be acceptable for me to apply for both vacancies?
And will growing a beard improve my chances?

Bless you all. Shalom Aleichem.

I see you more as the Robin Hood type myself