This morning on I-75, > > I looked over to my > left and there was a > > woman > > > in a brand new > > > Cadillac > > > doing 65 mph > > > with her > face up next to her > > > rear view mirror > > > putting on her eyeliner. > > > > > I looked away > > > for a couple seconds > > and when I looked back she was > > halfway over in my lane, > > still working on that makeup. > > > > As a man, > > > I don't scare easily. > > > > But she scared me so much; > > I dropped > my electric shaver, > > which knocked > > the donut > > out of my other hand. > > > > In all > the confusion of trying > > to straighten out the car > > using my knees against > the steering wheel, > > it knocked > > my cell phone > > away from my ear > > which fell > > into the coffee > > between my legs, > > splashed, > > and burned > > Big Jim and the Twins, > > ruined the damn phone, > > soaked my trousers, > > and disconnected an > important call. > > > Idiot Women Drivers