Judgmental People Make Me Sick

[Lex]

I got this lovely PM today:

Title: Moral Cowardice

I meant no harm with my title but since you and think kink to offense I tried to edit it but can't seem to. Can you?

You asked me once before about my kids. I have a lesbian daughter who is my best friend in the world. I count gay men as my very dear friends.

I find it quite offensive to see numerous posts directed to gay men only thru out this site and you blast me for pointing a finger at the dopes who are my own sexual orientation.

I do find it scary that you absolved ClaireTalon of what was clearly a grievous fault by sleeping with a man in a commited relationship. You shoud have spanked her like you did me or maybe its ok in your world to cheat, I don't know. To me thats unhealthy and you seem to be unhealthy if you agree with her. Read Sassyspy to see what YOU should have said.

Finally since you judge me, let me judge you. You want to be a gay man and live as a gay man? OK. But your first and quite frankly only responsibilty is to the children you brought on the earth. If your being gay does not affect them, great. But if you detect one shred of difficulty in your kids adapting to your new lifestyle, your allegiance must be to their happiness and not yours. They didn't ask to be born, you concieved them. Hopefully they can understand but if they can't you are stuck, IMO. You owe them to provide what THEY need, not you. When they can deal with it in an understadning way then you can be Lex, IMO, but not sooner.

A few key points:

1. PMs are the property of the owner. They are like letters--once you sedn them, you lose control of them. You should act accordingly. I never say anything in private that I don't want to say in person. Knowing thatg and knowing me, the people that PM me tell me when they want what thay say to remain private. Abashed criticism is never protected.

2. I posted my opinion on the thread title. You don't have to change it just because I think it is stupid. I still believe that you can challenge straight men and women (or anyone) without devisive thread titles. I (and others) challenge each other all the time in posts. You run whenever someone says something you don't like.

3. I don't judge Claire (or anyone) on who she fucks (they fuck). Not judging is the first lesson people learn in Sunday School and the first one they forget. I said exactly what I should have and wanted to say. If I fuck your wife, get mad at her not me. I can't fuck her if she does not let me. Good thing I'm gay, huh? Maybe I'll fuck you. Nah.

4. If you knew anything about me and my wife, you would know that we have and always will put the children first. And frankly, it's none of your fucking business what we do or when we tell them. FWIW--research says that parents who are gay should tell their kids before or after adolescence but not DURING. My kids know what gay is, my daughter has a classmate/friend with 2 mommies and a daddy. I have taught her that all families are different and that what is MOST important is that people have family members that care for and take care of them. I'm sad that your definition of a healthy family is so limited.

5. I am not living a lifestyle. I am embracing my orientation. I am loving myself instead of repressing and hating myself and being self-destructive. I am choosing to love myself and live my life in a full and positive way. Fuck you for suggesting (with the words "want," "live" and "lifestyle") that being gay is a choice. Fuck you again for suggesting that being gay somehow compromises my ability to parent.

Read up on me and my journey before you open your fat mouth and try to blast me via PM. If you've got something to say to me or anyone-either have the balls to say it out loud in the appropriate threads or stay quiet. I speak about my life, my world, and more all over this place. Don't save up all your issues and try to attack me at once. It's bad karma.

 

[Industrialsize]

Now I not only have fun with you in the chat room Lex, but have a new found repsect for you as a person. Well Said!

 

[D_N Flay Table]

I am not touching this one w/ a 10 foot or 10 inch pole
however.
I have love and respect for everyone, no matter what they do, or who they do it with, (as long as they dont harm anyone in the process)

 

[DaveyR]

Great reply Lex.

One point I would like to add. Surely it is in the kids best interests to see their parents fulfilled and happy. Kids pick up on everything and parents living a lie can have a big effect on them. In addition living a lie is not exactly a good example to set kids. What does it tell them about life?

I have read most of what you have written about your "journey" Lex and I think you are being true to yourself as well as to your immediate and extended family. Although you don't need anyone to tell you that.

Keep up the good work - I'm sure your kids won't turn out intolerant. Pity there were not more parents like you.

PS The person who send you the PM ( I do not even want to type the name) is Cuntfaced Fucktard. Now go on attack me - like I give a flying fuck what you think. Moralistic Twat.

 

[madame_zora]

Lex, you know how I feel about this- nothing growns in the dark but mushrooms, and they grow out of bullshit.

In many ways, this can be seen as the crux of the left/right problem in America. Some believe in maintaining the status quo at all costs- without regard to the realistic damage that has been done to US as a result. If we don't accept that WE ourselves have been damaged by repressive thinking, then we see no reason to change it.

You don't need my advice Lex, you are on your own path to self-accualisation and you're doing fine. The words of the lesser evolved serve only as a reminder of where you've been, and it wasn't pretty, was it? We all grew up with stilted perceptions, and all of us who chose to become parents have known the weighty responsibility of deciding what to keep and what to throw away from our own upbringing.

Honesty is FAR more important than "being nice". A member here said something that chilled me to the bone (Ledroit, I think it was), "Nothing can be sacred that isn't real". People who prefer appearances to reality creep me the fuck out. They inhibit the progress of Man and make mockery of our human intellect. Choosing the path of honesty IS holy, and one worthy of reverence. To do this balls out, in front of your peers, is a sacred enterprise. Thank you.




OH, anyone who hasn't known me long may as well know- I also publish rude or stupid PMs. Don't think for a minute I consider your ignorant thoughts "private". Write me accordingly.

 

[madame_zora]

Great reply Lex.

One point I would like to add. Surely it is in the kids best interests to see their parents fulfilled and happy. Kids pick up on everything and parents living a lie can have a big effect on them. In addition living a lie is not exactly a good example to set kids. What does it tell them about life?

I have read most of what you have written about your "journey" Lex and I think you are being true to yourself as well as to your immediate and extended family. Although you don't need anyone to tell you that.

Keep up the good work - I'm sure your kids won't turn out intolerant. Pity there were not more parents like you.

PS The person who send you the PM ( I do not even want to type the name) is Cuntfaced Fucktard. Now go on attack me - like I give a flying fuck what you think. Moralistic Twat.

I think I'm in love- I want your 1%!

 

[DaveyR]

I think I'm in love- I want your 1%!

You got it baby :smile:

 

[fortiesfun]

Lex is, and remains, my hero.

 

[Lex]

The words of the lesser evolved serve only as a reminder of where you've been, and it wasn't pretty, was it?

No it wasn't and I'm never going or looking back.

Over the weekend, I was sharing my life update with a friend who I had not seen since last January. Obviously many of the dynamics in my house have changed and evolved since then. When I told him where Me and Mrs. Lex were within our relationship, he shared something his therapist told him when he came out at 37, divorced his wife and was outcast by his family:

"Two men, two women, and man and a woman: Whatever. In the end, it's just two people making a go at it."

 

[snoozan]

I've read this a couple times trying to tease out what I'm thinking about this and it really all boils down to mutual respect.

I posted in the thread in question that I don't agree that Claire Talon was completely guilt free-- so obviously Lex and I disagree. Since we are different people from different backgrounds with different experiences, this shouldn't be a surprise. Part of being on a forum like this is being exposed to ideas that we don't agree with, and hopefully coming away with something positive. We don't all have to agree. We do, however, have to treat each other with respect, or keep our keyboards... silent.

So, where it is perfectly fine to disagree with Lex's opionions, it's not okay to attack the way he lives his life without even knowing his family and children. And, even if you did know Lex and his family, it's still not your place to tell him what he should do where his kids are concerned. I've been on the receiving end of this by a "friend" who felt that because I am bipolar I am an unfit parent. It sucks. None of us know what life is like for Lex's children, and I can't see how the choices he's made with them automatically make them disadvantaged or hurt. As far as I can tell, Lex is doing the best he can as a parent and a person and that's all you can ask from anyone.

With all that said, I'm not going to call Whatshisname a fucktard or a cuntface or whatever. It doesn't help the situation to deteriorate it into namecalling and raging, even if you feel that way. I don't think it's going to have any effect on Whatshisnuts except maybe prove his point.

Still, I fundamentally don't see what disagreeing with Lex in threads has to do with what he does in his private life and why the two were conflated in that PM.

 

[B_Think_Kink]

Originally Posted by Wyldgusechaz
I meant no harm with my title but since you and think kink to offense I tried to edit it but can't seem to. Can you?

Why should he, your the idiot who didn't think before you posted..

You asked me once before about my kids. I have a lesbian daughter who is my best friend in the world. I count gay men as my very dear friends.

Then directing your post to your "own orientation" was called for, and acceptable.. right-o

I find it quite offensive to see numerous posts directed to gay men only thru out this site and you blast me for pointing a finger at the dopes who are my own sexual orientation.

Blah blah blah, this site has a minority of straight people (thanks for that piece of info Mme. Zora) so that usually means that there is going to be a fair number of posts directed at the majority.

I do find it scary that you absolved ClaireTalon of what was clearly a grievous fault by sleeping with a man in a committed relationship. You should have spanked her like you did me or maybe its OK in your world to cheat, I don't know. To me thats unhealthy and you seem to be unhealthy if you agree with her. Read Sassyspy to see what YOU should have said.

How dare you assume something like that about someone, if you knew anything about Lex, then you'd know better.

Finally since you judge me, let me judge you. You want to be a gay man and live as a gay man? OK. But your first and quite frankly only responsibility is to the children you brought on the earth. If your being gay does not affect them, great. But if you detect one shred of difficulty in your kids adapting to your new lifestyle, your allegiance must be to their happiness and not yours. They didn't ask to be born, you conceived them. Hopefully they can understand but if they can't you are stuck, IMO. You owe them to provide what THEY need, not you. When they can deal with it in an understanding way then you can be Lex, IMO, but not sooner.

I guess saying that children learn acceptance from their parents means little to you, and today it is not acceptable to criticize someone for their orientation, and Lex isn't asking for anything from his kids, he is providing just like any parent should be, and no one cares about your opinion.

....stops before I get really angry....

 

[Matthew]

As we take time to reflect on the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. today, I am so touched to learn that some are using the day to celebrate their freedom to be COMPLETE ASSHOLES.

 

[snoozan]

As we take time to reflect on the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. today, I am so touched to learn that some are using the day to celebrate their freedom to be COMPLETE ASSHOLES.

That's really funny.

*looks at self*

uh oh.

 

[Matthew]

That's really funny.

*looks at self*

uh oh.

LOL!!

Though of course I wasn't talking about you snoozan, I honestly think there's no greater virtue than the ability to be honestly self-critical.

 

[naughty]

A guilty conscience needs no accusing....

 

[Lex]

That's really funny.

*looks at self*

uh oh.

Snoozan-- me, Daverock and Matthew LIKE assholes. They're hot.


WAIT...

 

[DaveyR]

Snoozan-- me and Matthew LIKE assholes. They're hot.


WAIT...

Wrong answer Lex. Read Naughty's response to see what YOU should have said.

 

[naughty]

Snoozan-- me and Matthew LIKE assholes. They're hot.


WAIT...

LOL! You know you are not right! LMAHO!

 

[FLbjbud]

5. I am not living a lifestyle. I am embracing my orientation. I am loving myself instead of repressing and hating myself and being self-destructive. I am choosing to love myself and live my life in a full and positive way. Fuck you for suggesting (with the words "want," "live" and "lifestyle") that being gay is a choice. Fuck you again for suggesting that being gay somehow compromises my ability to parent.

Well said, Lex...

 

[madame_zora]

A guilty conscience needs no accusing....

Word to yo mutha- it's the ones without that conscience that worry me.