Just a quick quiz...

IntoxicatingToxin

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I thought this was interesting. It's in this months "O" Magazine.
Schema Therapy: Abandonment

It's basically a test to see what "schema" in your childhood has helped to create your personal relationships and what your "schema" may be. I'm not going to give you scores on everything because the whole thing isn't necessarily relevent. But... my two most likely "schema" are abandonement and entitlement.

Abandonement - People who cling to others because they're afraid of being left and don't feel important relationships will last. They're usually attracted to partners who cannot be there in a committed way.

Entitlement - Those who hate to be constrained or kept from doing what they want or feel that they shouldn't have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.

So... how did you score??
 

BigDuder

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Emotional Deprivation
Most of the time, these patients haven't had someone to nurture them, to care deeply about everything that happens to them or someone who was tuned in to their true feelings and needs.

Entitlement
Those who hate to be constrained or kept from doing what they want or feel that they shouldn't have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.


this quiz has saddened me
 

SpoiledPrincess

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I got eight things that apply to me, but I don't believe the quiz has any true value because there weren't any positive models as the end results,

Emotional Deprivation: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Entitlement: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Abandonment: 8
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Defectiveness: 4
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Subjugation: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Unrelenting Standards: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Self-Sacrifice: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
 

simcha

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Mistrust/Abuse: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you
Mistrust/Abuse
Those who feel that they cannot let their guard down in the presence of other people, or else that person will intentionally hurt them. If someone acts nicely toward them, they assume that he/she must be after something.

Entitlement: 12
High; this schema is probably very significant to you
Entitlement
Those who hate to be constrained or kept from doing what they want or feel that they shouldn't have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.

Unrelenting Standards: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
Unrelenting Standards
An individual who must be the best at most of what they do and feel there is constant pressure to achieve and get things done. Their relationships suffer because they push themselves so hard.

Emotional Deprivation: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
Emotional Deprivation
Most of the time, these patients haven't had someone to nurture them, to care deeply about everything that happens to them or someone who was tuned in to their true feelings and needs.

Look, most of us have received some damage along the way. We all have things from which we need to heal. It's all about how we carry what we have learned from our past forward, and what we can do to repair and learn from our past.

I'm not shocked that Mistrust/Abuse and Entitlement both came up high for me. I'm quite aware of my own history and how it affects me in my relationships today. What's most important about this is what I'm doing about it to change how I react to others with whom I am in relationship. To a certain extent, because of my experiences, I'll always approach others with a bit of suspicion as to their intentions. And I'll always have some sort of anti-authoritarian bent. Will I always let it get in the way of being able to have a fulfilling life and intimate relationships? I'm constantly working on myself so that I won't.
 

ManlyBanisters

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A few lows - and 2 mediums that look, to me, a little contradictory. No 'high' scores - does this mean that I'm well adjusted - I doubt it.
I agree with Princess - no positive models suggests a bad evaluation method to me too.

Entitlement: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
Entitlement
Those who hate to be constrained or kept from doing what they want or feel that they shouldn't have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.

Self-Sacrifice: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
Self Sacrifice
Someone who puts others' needs before their own, or else they feel guilty, and usually end up taking care of the people they're close to
 

Principessa

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I only read half the article in "O" before falling asleep last night. Glad the online quiz was so quick and easy. For me I think it's pretty much spot on; but then again I know my diagnosis.

Emotional Deprivation: 14
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Entitlement: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
They don't call me Princess IRL for nothing! :tongue: :biggrin1:

Abandonment: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you
This one should be higher. After my half-sister died my mom went through a phase where she couldn't care for me and her mother came to live with us . . . for 3.5 years! My abandonment issues go back to my 1st birthday which is the day my half sister died.:frown1:

Defectiveness: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
You'd feel defective too if all your relatives made you feel like the good sister died. . . :mad:

Subjugation: 18
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
Is this why I like to be submissive sexually?:flirt:

Unrelenting Standards: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
Daddy was a drill seargeant during Korea & mom has OCD. If it had been possible I probably would have scored 25 on this one.

Mistrust/Abuse: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
When the people who are supposed to protect you from abuse don't or fail miserably in their attempt one learns to be mistrustful.

Self-Sacrifice: 16
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas
 

Belly_Dancer

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Very interesting...these were my results:

Emotional Deprivation: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Entitlement: 10
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you

Abandonment: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Defectiveness: 10
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you

Subjugation: 14
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Unrelenting Standards: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you

Mistrust/Abuse: 10
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you

Self-Sacrifice: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you
 

wispandex_bulge

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What's Your Schema?
head_line.gif



Emotional Deprivation: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Entitlement: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Abandonment: 5
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Defectiveness: 8
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Subjugation: 16
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Unrelenting Standards: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Self-Sacrifice: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

You know...this tells me that I like to please others and do well but am not relaly bothered by much else...kinda makes me the perfect mate don you think? Calling all eligible gay men!
 

LongTimeComing

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Nice to see that I truly am as f'd up as I thought. Validation is always good.


Emotional Deprivation: 18
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Entitlement: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you

Abandonment: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Defectiveness: 14
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Subjugation: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Unrelenting Standards: 12
High; this schema is probably very significant to you

Mistrust/Abuse: 5
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Self-Sacrifice: 8
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you
 

Not_Punny

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Let ME tell you about abandonment.... my parents wrapped me up in a blanket and dropped me off at an orphanage on my 32nd birthday...

* sob *


(just kidding) :biggrin1:
 

D_Egloshayle Churchkey

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Emotional Deprivation: 14
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Entitlement: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Abandonment: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you

Defectiveness: 16
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Subjugation: 14
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Unrelenting Standards: 8
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Mistrust/Abuse: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Self-Sacrifice: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

In schema therapy, some combinations feed into each other, constantly triggering tensions within the relationship. Young calls these the worst matches:

It is true I`m often depressed, god damnit :(
 

B_Think_Kink

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Emotional Deprivation: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Entitlement: 18
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Abandonment: 18
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Defectiveness: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Subjugation: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you


Unrelenting Standards: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 17
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


Self-Sacrifice: 18
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas


In schema therapy, some combinations feed into each other, constantly triggering tensions within the relationship. Young calls these the worst matches:


  • <LI class=issueli>Abandonment and Subjugation <LI class=issueli>Unrelenting Standards and Approval Seeking <LI class=issueli>Self-Sacrifice and Entitlement <LI class=issueli>Defectiveness and Punitiveness <LI class=issueli>Subjugation and Enmeshment
  • Emotional Deprivation and Emotional Inhibition
I'm not surprised in the least.
 

viking1

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This is fascinating. I can't believe that so many here got results similar to mine. I scored pretty high on most, and very high on some.

It looks like a lot of us here could relate to each other a lot more that what we do. Maybe we just don't want to...
 

OmahaBeef

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Emotional Deprivation: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you

Entitlement: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Abandonment: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Defectiveness: 4
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Subjugation: 8
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you

Unrelenting Standards: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Mistrust/Abuse: 15
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

Self-Sacrifice: 16
Very high; this is likely one of your core schemas

In schema therapy, some combinations feed into each other, constantly triggering tensions within the relationship. Young calls these the worst matches:

  • Abandonment and Subjugation
  • Unrelenting Standards and Approval Seeking
  • Self-Sacrifice and Entitlement
  • Defectiveness and Punitiveness
  • Subjugation and Enmeshment
  • Emotional Deprivation and Emotional Inhibition
...I have no idea what this means...but thats what I scored...

...OB
 

arliss

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Emotional Deprivation: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Entitlement: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Abandonment: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Defectiveness: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Subjugation: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Unrelenting Standards: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Self-Sacrifice: 4
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you
 

Principessa

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*snip* ...I have no idea what this means...but thats what I scored......OB
It means of the people who posted scores you and SpoiledPrincess are the most balanced and least in need of therapy.

This is fascinating. I can't believe that so many here got results similar to mine. I scored pretty high on most, and very high on some. Same here.

It looks like a lot of us here could relate to each other a lot more than what we do. I would say that I have felt a bit like a kindred spirit with some here; but others not so much. Maybe we just don't want to...
Or maybe some of us relate and converse as best we can at a given time. Sometimes verbal comunication is too much for me and I retreat into the world of chat, IM; e-mail.
 

B_josiah852

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Emotional Deprivation: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Entitlement: 13
High; this schema is probably very significant to you


Abandonment: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Defectiveness: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Subjugation: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Unrelenting Standards: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 10
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Self-Sacrifice: 12
High; this schema is probably very significant to you
 

Act2_Begins_Now

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Emotional Deprivation: 11
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Entitlement: 6
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Abandonment: 5
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Defectiveness: 3
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Subjugation: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Unrelenting Standards: 9
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


Mistrust/Abuse: 7
Low; this schema probably does not apply to you


Self-Sacrifice: 10
Medium; this schema may have some relevance to you


In schema therapy, some combinations feed into each other, constantly triggering tensions within the relationship. Young calls these the worst matches:

Abandonment and Subjugation
Unrelenting Standards and Approval Seeking
Self-Sacrifice and Entitlement
Defectiveness and Punitiveness
Subjugation and Enmeshment
Emotional Deprivation and Emotional Inhibition

Abandonment
People who cling to others because they're afraid of being left and don't feel important relationships will last. They're usually attracted to partners who cannot be there in a committed way.

Emotional Deprivation
Most of the time, these patients haven't had someone to nurture them, to care deeply about everything that happens to them or someone who was tuned in to their true feelings and needs.

Entitlement
Those who hate to be constrained or kept from doing what they want or feel that they shouldn't have to follow the normal rules and conventions other people do.

Subjugation
In relationships, these people let the other person have the upper hand and worry a lot about pleasing other people so they won't be rejected.

Unrelenting Standards
An individual who must be the best at most of what they do and feel there is constant pressure to achieve and get things done. Their relationships suffer because they push themselves so hard.

Mistrust/Abuse
Those who feel that they cannot let their guard down in the presence of other people, or else that person will intentionally hurt them. If someone acts nicely toward them, they assume that he/she must be after something.

Self Sacrifice
Someone who puts others' needs before their own, or else they feel guilty, and usually end up taking care of the people they're close to.

Social Isolation
Individuals who don't think that they relate well to other people and/or feel that they don't fit in with any sort of group.

Dependence
People who often feel helpless or aren't capable of making a decision without the aid of another person.

Vulnerability to Harm or Illness
Hypochondriacs and/or those who consistently fear that they will be involved in a catastrophe like an airplane crash or hurricane.

Enmeshment
Young's patients who have a weak sense of personal identity and habitually cling to or "mesh" with other people do so in order to feel like a complete person.

Failure
Someone who believes they will never succeed or that they're not as bright or talented as the people around them

Insufficient Self-Control

Those who lack self-discipline and want to quit a task at the first sign of frustration or failure. (People with milder forms of this schema will give up personal satisfaction or fulfillment in order to avoid conflict or confrontation; could be described as a slacker.)

Approval Seeking
Individuals can place an extreme importance on other people's opinions and sometimes put a high level of significance on appearance and social status as a means to get attention.

Negativity
Someone who focuses on the worst parts of life (disappointments, missteps, and embarrassing moments) and might have inflated fears that they will make a mistake that will result in a personal crisis, like financial ruin.

Inhibition
People who are afraid to show emotion or, for that matter, initiate conversation&#8212;might be described as a wallflower.

Punitiveness
Those that believe even the smallest mistake deserves punishment. Usually hold themselves&#8212;and others&#8212;to very high expectations; find it hard to empathize or forgive mistakes, their own and those of others.