Just broke up with my girlfriend.

[D_Andreas Sukov]

not even that, it just reminded me of the sex with the ex, not having anyone to be close to in the morning, cos the girl had gone etc.

 

[uboat]

i went out to a bar and kissed two girls... but i still feel numb. I forced myself to do that thinking i would feel better but i didn't... so i then tried to pick a fight with two random guys... they were scared. i fear im heading for self destruction.

I don't understand why i feel like this... i didn't even like her. Im an emotional wreck and don't know how to handle my feeling/emotions right now. How long is this supposed to last?

 

[eyescream]

Many of us have been there at some point. Rely on your friends, and try to enjoy the things you used to before you met her. I know that it might not seem like you'll ever get over it but it's just about the attachment. Appreciate the people around you who are still there for you. In time, you will learn to live without her and you'll meet someone who you'll get along better with.

 

[helgaleena]

A bar is not a good place to heal. Try someplace a little more homey like a coffeeshop or cafe if you haven't got your house cleaned out yet.

 

[Stephenmass]

From what I am reading above, the hardest part for you seems to be you used to identify as "two" and now you are identifying as "one" and because you were "two" for two years you kind of forget how to be "one". It will come back to you. Don't try to "rush it" out of your system; your mind will always remember. But your mind will also remember what made it not work and it's reasons. Expect a tough time for a bit not being partnered. It's a bit lonely at first until you get back into things identifying as "one". Sometimes you may find things that you didn't even know existed about yourself too!

 

[hud01]

i went out to a bar and kissed two girls... but i still feel numb. I forced myself to do that thinking i would feel better but i didn't... so i then tried to pick a fight with two random guys... they were scared. i fear im heading for self destruction.

I don't understand why i feel like this... i didn't even like her. Im an emotional wreck and don't know how to handle my feeling/emotions right now. How long is this supposed to last?

My 9 year marriage ended last year, so I know in spades how you feel when you say numb. Don't rush things, when you are ready you will know it. With me it was about 6 months before I was ready to try again.

Go to a gym and hit the bag instead of picking fights, you might find someone who is willing and able to deal with you if you keep it up. Talk to a counselor about it.

I have to ask, is it missing her, or the fact that you failed that has you so mad? You talk about the fact that you weren't meant for each other, but you tried to make it work. Sounds like the fear of failure, or the fear of being alone was driving your actions.

 

[uboat]

It is def hard being "one" right now. For the lngest time I have seen her as my better half. I can get girls and stuff but being single is very new to me.


@hud
I'm not sure if I really miss her but I do know that I am very upset bc it didn't work! It really is eating me up bc I feel that things take work and a relationship is no different! I've come from a "if it's not easy it's not worth having mindset". And bc of that I felt like i should stay with her and dig through our issues. I hate too loose and to me it feels like I have lost BIG! she is such a nice girl! To me, she is one of those girls who has not lost her innocence. I just pray that this cold life takes it ez on her.

 

[Sammy_Day]

After my worst heart breaking breakups - I learned that taking care of myself became the best thing I could - take care of yourself, and others will see your self respect and be more attracted to you..

 

[helgaleena]

Dear uboat, you saw her as your 'better half'? That is obviously not the case. If you had a better half it would be part of you already. And if she were better than you then she could not balance you. So firstly half of you was not missing before you became a couple, and secondly there is no equality possible if one person is continually 'better ' than the other one.

Be glad you can quit believing in this false concept and try for balance next time. Take care of both halves of yourself too!

 

[offline]

Time to heal mentally - a few weeks to a few months

Things that help healing - no contact with her, hanging out with friends, exercising, random girls

Things that don't help healing - getting drunk, creeping on her facebook, random girls, getting into new relationships

Indications that you are really over her - you get rid of everything(every little thing) that you have that belonged to her

Friends - If you were friends to begin with maybe you can be friends again

 

[uboat]

well, its been about a month. still not 100% over my ex. Ive been focusing on getting a good job. However, i met this 22 yr old tall blond girl that is uber sexy. but i know im not ready for her b.c she wasnt a relationship and i just kinda want a fuck buddy right now. I do fell alot better about my whole situation though.

 

[rbkwp]

I think we nearly all experience similar at least once in Life matey
Sure hope things have improved .. a month
well it usually improves in time .. then you ZOOM ahead
without a doubt
Keep yourself occupied with heaps of other things'
Sex and Human Companionship is really only one component of life
ALL the BEST
enz

 

[uboat]

What i can't figure out is why i keep having communication fantasies. Ive been catching myself daydreaming about calling her or going over to her apartment or writing a letter to her. Its been happening more and more recently and its starting to freak me out. Its kinda making me want to call her.

 

[B_jdrudy3]

can i fuck her? Ive got a nice big long dick for her.

 

[uboat]

lol

 

[italbijock]

Because you love her dude, you have an emotional connection to this woman. Stop being a fuck up, man up and get her back, everybody is giving you shitty advice on here. Its obvious she loves you and believe me when I tell you that you dont get people to fall in love with you that much in a lifetime. Its easy to just cut and run when it attraction or something fades, but real men overcome that and get the attraction back.

Relationships take work...period. The next one will be the same way. You gotta work on it bro!

Good Luck

 

[D_Jurgen Klitgaard]

Because you love her dude, you have an emotional connection to this woman. Stop being a fuck up, man up and get her back, everybody is giving you shitty advice on here. Its obvious she loves you and believe me when I tell you that you dont get people to fall in love with you that much in a lifetime. Its easy to just cut and run when it attraction or something fades, but real men overcome that and get the attraction back.

Relationships take work...period. The next one will be the same way. You gotta work on it bro!

Good Luck

Amen!

 

[incubus08]

Amen!

I agree. If you're having feelings like this and you can't stop thinking about her, then at least give her a ring and see what's up. She may feel the same way about the break up and you two could work something out. If you love her then do what you can to keep her.

 

[wellhung9]

Just dump yourself into meaningless, unprotected sex, with lots of strangers. made me feel better :frown1:

 

[builder10]

Girls will do what you want and be what you want them to be. You just have to be a man and take initiative. I see too many guys bein softcocks these days and playin mr nice guy... If you want a relationship, then you can have it... and if you want 10 diff chicks a week to spin on your cock, then you can have that too... I have both!