Just Can't Like Anal

D

deleted518773

Guest
It's very frustrating. I'm way more submissive in personality and definitely not a top. I get that some guys just don't like anal and that's okay. I just find it so frustrating since when it comes to porn I find it hot and Im so interested in it but the act itself just isnt that great. Its sinful at worst but even at best its like... "Ok it's something" wouldn't say it hurts but it's not something Id say is pleasurable. I mostly am just open to doing it for my partner.
 
5

5307911

Guest
It's very frustrating. I'm way more submissive in personality and definitely not a top. I get that some guys just don't like anal and that's okay. I just find it so frustrating since when it comes to porn I find it hot and Im so interested in it but the act itself just isnt that great. Its sinful at worst but even at best its like... "Ok it's something" wouldn't say it hurts but it's not something Id say is pleasurable. I mostly am just open to doing it for my partner.
I would get a smallish dildo and practice with that. Use lots of lube, and masturbate while it is inside you. Try different angles and positions, and try to find your prostate. If you get pleasure out of that, try a medium sized, and go from there. If that all works out for you, then revisit anal sex with a partner. If not, then you've done your personal research on your own time, at your pace and comfort levels, and found out your answer.
 

Beanie

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Jan 27, 2007
Posts
4,465
Media
18
Likes
9,819
Points
493
Location
Cardiff (Wales)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
It's very frustrating. I'm way more submissive in personality and definitely not a top. I get that some guys just don't like anal and that's okay. I just find it so frustrating since when it comes to porn I find it hot and Im so interested in it but the act itself just isnt that great. Its sinful at worst but even at best its like... "Ok it's something" wouldn't say it hurts but it's not something Id say is pleasurable. I mostly am just open to doing it for my partner.
I’m triggered by the ‘sinful’ comment? So are we looking at a religion issue or what?

If it doesn’t feel good don’t do it. We all do things we don’t want to for our long term partners just have to ride that line so to speak.
 

Brodie888

Worshipped Member
Joined
Dec 10, 2015
Posts
3,056
Media
0
Likes
12,702
Points
233
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Women often have the same issue with penetrative sex. Many never orgasm from vaginal sex in their lifetime.

I think it's a combination of needing to spend the time to experiment and learn what works for your body and then being able to communicate that to your partner.

For some it's just not something their body isn't wired for and that's fine. There are plenty of other things to do that don't require anal stimulation.
 

malakos

Superior Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Posts
8,358
Media
30
Likes
6,518
Points
223
Location
Cumming, GA, USA
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
You are not alone. Many gay and bisexual guys aren't interested in anal sex. Many feel that they must choose to be top, bottom or verse to participate in mm sex. It doesn't have to be that way.

You need to find a guy who has the same feelings as you. A healthy mm sexual relationship does not require anal sex. Many men find it much more pleasurable to cum together in a 69, a stroking frott, or by rubbing cocks.

Anal sex is not for everyone. As you have tried it and don't find it pleasurable, then don't do it. Being more submissive, doesn't mean you have to submit to something you truly don't enjoy.

Sadly, porn portrays that anal is a necessary part of mm sex. Remember, porn is not real life. What you enjoy is up to you and up to you to find someone with similar desires.

Though I am mainly straight, I have had my bi experiences along the way. I know that receiving is not for me. It is uncomfortable at best and tends to be down right painful. If you try it several times, with care, to the same result, then it isn't for you. I say "anal training" is bullshit. It just trains you to tolerate something you don't like. I don't find giving to a man pleasurable either. It just doesn't feel right. With a guy, I'd much rather cum from oral or cock to cock. I don't mind giving to a woman. They are anatomically different there and it can be pleasurable to me. It's not something I ask for. Being on the large side, I'd usually get refused. Women who like it, ask for it. But, I'd much rather cum in a hot mouth, or wet pussy.

If you have tried anal and don't want to do it, chances are, your body is trying to tell you that it's not for you. Don't feel you you have to do it because you choose a gay/bi lifestyle. Your limits are your own choice. If someone doesn't respect your limits, then you shouldn't be with them.

xx

Since you're new here, I'll explain the situation to you.

The forum you're posting in is titled "Ask a Gay Man". That means that those who respond are supposed to be men who are strictly or mostly homosexual. Responding in the wrong forum can and does sometimes result in one's post being reported.

You, for example, since you identify as a mainly straight man, shouldn't respond in "Ask a Woman", "Ask a Gay Man", and probably not in "Ask a Bisexual Man". Whereas "Ask a Man" and "Ask a Straight Man" would be fair game.

As OKCLane pointed out, this is because there is an interest in having forums where we can ask questions specifically of those who have experience living with specific conditions/identities.

If someone wants to have a discussion where peripheral or comparable experiences qualify, and are therefore open to any sort of person, there are a number of other, non-demographic specific forums where they could ask those questions.
 

OKCLane

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
1,922
Media
307
Likes
6,655
Points
383
Location
Oklahoma City (Oklahoma, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
Since you're new here, I'll explain the situation to you.

The forum you're posting in is titled "Ask a Gay Man". That means that those who respond are supposed to be men who are strictly or mostly homosexual. Responding in the wrong forum can and does sometimes result in one's post being reported.

You, for example, since you identify as a mainly straight man, shouldn't respond in "Ask a Woman", "Ask a Gay Man", and probably not in "Ask a Bisexual Man". Whereas "Ask a Man" and "Ask a Straight Man" would be fair game.

As OKCLane pointed out, this is because there is an interest in having forums where we can ask questions specifically of those who have experience living with specific conditions/identities.

If someone wants to have a discussion where peripheral or comparable experiences qualify, and are therefore open to any sort of person, there are a number of other, non-demographic specific forums where they could ask those questions.
Well and wonderfully said @malakos
It was at the end of a long and exhausting day when I made my terse and unhelpful comment. Kudos to you for making lemonade from my lemons.
Apologies to all for a snarky comment.
 

chrisrobin

Mythical Member
Joined
Sep 1, 2016
Posts
10,112
Media
0
Likes
25,902
Points
183
Location
Bournemouth (England)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
To much porn is portrayed as being totally submissive and isn't like real sex. For starters there isn't a guarantee that the action is one session, the action is edited, choreographed and staged, the guys are usually on "highs" and they get paid to get laid.
So you get a young kid being hammered by some hung muscular stud hung like a stallion.
Back to the question. I had an amazing teacher, opened me up and deflowered me with fun and gentleness, introduced me to his bigger built buddy to enjoy me having longer thicker penetration. I enjoyed it all, begged for more almost and never turned down the chance of sex with them. One casual pickup tried to fuck me standing up. It was painful and he ripped me and put me off anal sex for a long time. The thing is you have to want to have it, you have to be able to relax and accommodate a pulsing cock opening you up. You know quickly if its going to be good, there comes a point where you say no.
Top and bottom in a relationship define roles, but being versatile helps understand the needs of the other when the roles are reversed.
In any case, as has been said, frotting is entirely enjoyable, humping through closed legs fun and 69 always a blast, so, lots of ways to get your rocks off without doing something you find painful - even for as man you love, and if he knew and loved you then he wouldn't force himself into you.
 

Cappy_Dick

Loved Member
Joined
May 4, 2020
Posts
252
Media
0
Likes
635
Points
138
Location
Buffalo (New York, United States)
Gender
Male
FYI, I am bisexual. I had tried top and bottom several times, before I came to the conclusion that neither is for me. Had you actually read and understood my post, my opinion was derived from personal experience. I have known many bisexual and gay men that weren't into it either. It's a personal choice as to whether or not you like it, or you don't. The snarky comments were pretty shitty, acting like it was some sort of heterosexual essay about not having gay anal. Obviously, you read what you want to and pass judgement. Not all men that like cock like anal sex.

xx
 

zaynmlk1626

Worshipped Member
Joined
Jul 31, 2017
Posts
2,667
Media
0
Likes
17,680
Points
333
Location
Thessaloniki (Central Macedonia, Greece)
Gender
Male
i am very confused on this issue too. i have always considered myself as a bottom and i love sucking a guy i can do it for hours but i also love it when someone sucks me. i was never that much into anal sex, i have tried it with different guys over the years and i can not say i find it that enjoyable. especially when the guy is quite big, i feel 90% pain and 10% pleasure and i don't think it worths the fuss. i also had trouble having sex with 3 guys i dated with in my life cause their dicks were too big to achieve a penetration. i did like anal sex with some guys who had medium to small sized dicks but nevertheless anal sex was not the first thing i would like to do with a partner. i find it kinda messy and too much fuss for not so much pleasure. there has been times that i actually liked it i can't deny it and i mostly did it cause i was in love with the guy and i wanted to pleasure him. the majority of the times i tried anal i did not like it that much though. i like it when i watch porn and i am surprised on how good the porn actors do it, how fast they can get fucked and enjoy it and i was always wondering how they do it. i also thought that my asshole was created too tight for anal sex cause it hurt like hell every time i tried it and i couldn't see why people like it and how they find pleasure with it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cappy_Dick

chrisrobin

Mythical Member
Joined
Sep 1, 2016
Posts
10,112
Media
0
Likes
25,902
Points
183
Location
Bournemouth (England)
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
i am very confused on this issue too. i have always considered myself as a bottom and i love sucking a guy i can do it for hours but i also love it when someone sucks me. i was never that much into anal sex, i have tried it with different guys over the years and i can not say i find it that enjoyable. especially when the guy is quite big, i feel 90% pain and 10% pleasure and i don't think it worths the fuss. i also had trouble having sex with 3 guys i dated with in my life cause their dicks were too big to achieve a penetration. i did like anal sex with some guys who had medium to small sized dicks but nevertheless anal sex was not the first thing i would like to do with a partner. i find it kinda messy and too much fuss for not so much pleasure. there has been times that i actually liked it i can't deny it and i mostly did it cause i was in love with the guy and i wanted to pleasure him. the majority of the times i tried anal i did not like it that much though. i like it when i watch porn and i am surprised on how good the porn actors do it, how fast they can get fucked and enjoy it and i was always wondering how they do it. i also thought that my asshole was created too tight for anal sex cause it hurt like hell every time i tried it and i couldn't see why people like it and how they find pleasure with it.
wells aid.Like some cocks are to big to enjoy - true. But don't be put of because one cock failed, after all when you go to a restaurant the menu has many different items for eating - and there are many different cocks.
When you see a horse cock penetrate a tine asshole and stretch it wide and then pound away don't you ask yourself what the guys have taken to relax the anal muscles that much - and is he really feeling the fuck?
 

SouthHarrow

Loved Member
Joined
Apr 5, 2020
Posts
271
Media
0
Likes
508
Points
83
Location
London (Greater London, England)
Sexuality
90% Gay, 10% Straight
Gender
Male
It's very frustrating. I'm way more submissive in personality and definitely not a top. I get that some guys just don't like anal and that's okay. I just find it so frustrating since when it comes to porn I find it hot and Im so interested in it but the act itself just isnt that great. Its sinful at worst but even at best its like... "Ok it's something" wouldn't say it hurts but it's not something Id say is pleasurable. I mostly am just open to doing it for my partner.
Well if you dont like it dont do it...would leave more tops for me lol Love to fuck and be fucked. Everyone to their own:)
 
  • Like
Reactions: JackM

OKCLane

Superior Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Sep 27, 2012
Posts
1,922
Media
307
Likes
6,655
Points
383
Location
Oklahoma City (Oklahoma, United States)
Verification
View
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
FYI, I am bisexual. I had tried top and bottom several times, before I came to the conclusion that neither is for me. Had you actually read and understood my post, my opinion was derived from personal experience. I have known many bisexual and gay men that weren't into it either. It's a personal choice as to whether or not you like it, or you don't. The snarky comments were pretty shitty, acting like it was some sort of heterosexual essay about not having gay anal. Obviously, you read what you want to and pass judgement. Not all men that like cock like anal sex.

xx
Those of us who are gay do not “choose” a gay lifestyle. Camping is a lifestyle. Gay is who we are.
I read your post. It appeared to be gleaned from the web, not personal experience.
You provided no helpful information and perpetuated stereotypes.
 
  • Like
Reactions: satopper

malakos

Superior Member
Joined
Oct 29, 2012
Posts
8,358
Media
30
Likes
6,518
Points
223
Location
Cumming, GA, USA
Sexuality
No Response
Gender
Male
FYI, I am bisexual. I had tried top and bottom several times, before I came to the conclusion that neither is for me. Had you actually read and understood my post, my opinion was derived from personal experience.

Nonetheless, for future reference, even as bisexual you should not be responding to threads in this forum.
 
  • Like
Reactions: OKCLane
2

2934161

Guest
It was the same for me. I've always been a Top, but I always wanted to try anal. The first time I didn't like it at all. But the more I did it, the more I liked it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sanzzzz
D

deleted1074483

Guest
a. there has been times that i actually liked it i can't deny it and i mostly did it cause i was in love with the guy and i wanted to pleasure him. .

so if there have been times you enjoyed it then 1) you're hole isn't too tight, 2) it can be 90% pleasure and 10% pain - so its not that you can't do it, it seems its more about who you do it with and the situation at the time. To enjoy sex, you need to trust the guy who's gonna fuck you, to relax you, take time to open you up and to be gentle if you've communicated with him that its hurt in the past. A good top should take the effort to do that with you and to help you explore your sexuality and what you like, as much as his just wanting to.

I think some of us are just more wired to have that empathy with a person and its that which triggers our brains to be more open and to enjoy whats going on.

so find the guy who is right for you mate;-)
 
  • Like
Reactions: zaynmlk1626

JackM

Legendary Member
Verified
Gold
Joined
Apr 2, 2007
Posts
438
Media
0
Likes
1,513
Points
598
Location
Newcastle upon Tyne (England)
Verification
View
Sexuality
99% Gay, 1% Straight
Gender
Male
You don't have to like it! I know some people will think you're insane and act as if it's a compulsory part of being gay to either fuck men or be fucked by them. I don't think that's true and know I'm not alone in that. Yes, maybe we're a minority within a minority but I would guess that 15% or more of gay men are not into anal.
 

Trekrider

Loved Member
Joined
May 21, 2006
Posts
193
Media
4
Likes
527
Points
348
Location
Australia
Sexuality
100% Gay, 0% Straight
Gender
Male
You don't have to like it! I know some people will think you're insane and act as if it's a compulsory part of being gay to either fuck men or be fucked by them. I don't think that's true and know I'm not alone in that. Yes, maybe we're a minority within a minority but I would guess that 15% or more of gay men are not into anal.
So true! It's a stereotype that, unfortunately, will forever be part of identifying as gay. In fact, I no longer think 'gay' is the right label for me, since it's automatically assumed anal sex is part of it. The stunned look on a guy's face when he asks if I am top or bottom and say 'neither' just shows how much of an expectation it is. Then I see his mind working overtime trying to work out what I could possibly be into instead, that gives complete sexual satisfaction. Of course, by then, he's totally lost interest LOL.
 
  • Like
Reactions: malakos