Just can't seem to "finish"

[bgkyguy]

So i've been messing around with this guy i've been friends with for a while. And it seems that no matter how hard we try, i just can't seem to get off. I get really close, and then it's like it's just gone, without orgasm or ejaculation. It's really discouraging.

 

[B_Nick8]

If you can get off on your own, I don't know why you can't with him. Are you saying you can't even finish yourself off when you're together?

If so, maybe you're feeling somehow conflicted about what you're doing. If that's true, you need to try to relax and enjoy it.

 

[bgkyguy]

If you can get off on your own, I don't know why you can't with him. Are you saying you can't even finish yourself off when you're together?

Yeah, I can't even finish myself off. A friend has suggested it may be stage fright, seeing as I've only been with one other guy, but last night will have made the 4th time with him that I couldn't.

 

[crescendo69]

It took me awhile, too. My first three guys - zilch. The fourth stuck with me and after a few times I got comfortable and beat off - great orgasm up to the bed board. Later he learn how to suck me to orgasm by emulating my hand movements with his mouth. Some of us guys just need a little more time and understanding. Good luck!

 

[Stephenmass]

The more aware you become that you won't, chances are that will continue. You have to "go in" thinking it doesn't matter if I cum or not. Take away the anxiety. Take away your own thinking of how well you need to "perform". Just go at it and have fun. I once had a b/f that I found incredibly hot, super hot if you will, and I had a hard time when I was with him, similar to what you describe. It was him that kept telling me not to worry, you are a great guy, you time will happen. Relax he said, and referred to himself as just another guy and never feel you have to measure up because you may think I'm hot, etc. He broke down my inhibitions one by one, never got frustrated with me, and before long we were cumming all over the place. Not cumming is usually in your own head, once it gets stuck there it's hard to break but not impossible. You'll be fine. Just take away the "I have to cum" mentality.

 

[biguy2738]

The more aware you become that you won't, chances are that will continue. You have to "go in" thinking it doesn't matter if I cum or not. Take away the anxiety. Take away your own thinking of how well you need to "perform". Just go at it and have fun. I once had a b/f that I found incredibly hot, super hot if you will, and I had a hard time when I was with him, similar to what you describe. It was him that kept telling me not to worry, you are a great guy, you time will happen. Relax he said, and referred to himself as just another guy and never feel you have to measure up because you may think I'm hot, etc. He broke down my inhibitions one by one, never got frustrated with me, and before long we were cumming all over the place. Not cumming is usually in your own head, once it gets stuck there it's hard to break but not impossible. You'll be fine. Just take away the "I have to cum" mentality.

I couldn't agree with Stephenmass more.

My ex used to have difficulty cumming, but in his case, it was biological. He had varicose veins in his scrotum that were removed but it buggered things up for him.

He used to be very self conscious about it. The intimacy for me was more important than the orgasm, so on my part, I didn't mind if he was able to cum or not (he managed to from time to time). I eventually made it a habit of telling him that I appreciated things because it meant that he could make love to me over and over and over again. :biggrin1: The irony is that much as he'd always suffered with this problem, as soon as he changed his mindset, he was able to cum whenever we made love. At times he came quicker than I did.

I do however empathize with the frustration that you must be experiencing. In his case, he'd get close to the point of no return and just as he'd get ready to orgasm, everything subsided.

I hope that things improve. :smile:

 

[bigbrick]

Remember some medications will do that. If you are on any, ask your doctor. Anti-depressants can have that effect in some guys.

 

[bgr_thn_avrg]

That sounds like a chemical thing or mental

 

[B_jeepguy2]

What are you doing wih this guy? I can't get off from getting sucked no matter how hard the dude (or chick) tries...I have never been able to. I get close but just can't manage to bust a nut. Being jacked by another person usually doesn't work either.

Usually for another guy to make me cum, his penis needs to be up my ass. LOL

 

[Florida Boy]

Whatever you do: Do not try to force or rush it. Relax, even think about something else.

 

[deleted509196]

I can find it hard to cum or it takes awhile. I guess it doesn't help that I'm a girl, as usually girls take longer than guys anyway. It can be annoying, but I guess if I cum in the end it's enjoyable and it's enjoyable to do stuff anyway. Also I guess... yeah relax and not worry 'it's not going to happen'.