and it didn't go so good. So I meet this guy on craigslist because I don't know any other way to meet guys. He looks good and all. He's older but has a nice body. He takes me to his place and I get naked and get on his bed and he gives me a massage. He asked me if he could fuck me and I said yes even though I've never been fucked before. As he's massaging me he starts fingering my ass and it feels good. I liked that part. Then he takes out some toys. The first was anal beads. They felt good in the beginning. But the more they're going up the more it's starting to feel uncomfortable. Then he takes out a butt plug and starts putting that in my ass. Again, it feels good in the beginning but once it's all the way inside it did NOT feel good. I was instantly soft and it was making me feel like I needed to shit really bad. Like, I was seriously afraid that I was about to shit all over this guy's bed at any moment. So I ask him to take it out and he doesn't really want to. I ask him again and he does, thankfully. But then he goes to put it back in and I had to cover my ass and say no. And the thought of "please don't rape me" is going through my head. so then I turn over and he's sucking my dick. And my ass is still hurting and it's hard for me to get hard. Then he's like "I wanna fuck you." And I go "Maybe next time." He goes "I wanna fuck you now" and I tell him that my ass is still hurting. So then he wants me to fuck him and I say ok. But it's still really hard for me to get hard. So I put a condom on and I try to get inside him and my dick is bending all over the place and it's just not going in. And then he grabs my dick and starts stroking it and FUCK I cum. I wasn't even fully hard when I came. But I couldn't stop it. So he's disappointed and so am I and then he cums on my chest and it's over. It really could have gone better. But here's the thing I think I discovered about myself, I don't think I'm a bottom. I mean, little stuff feels good. Big stuff, NOT good. Does anybody else get the feeling like they need to shit when something is up there? I thought I was gonna blow poop all over this guy's bed.