I've received quite a lot of private messages already with inquiries about the size of my humongous penis. I would put it into numbers for you, but such numbers defy our ability to comprehend them, such as a light year or the amount of years that have passed since the dinosaurs. I think explaining my size is best done using terminology from gnostic literature. If you "know" the size of my penis then you have measured it, but you can't actually measure it without "knowing" it. I'll have to do this in a roundabout way, but it's the only way to enlightenment regarding the size of my illustrious and magnificent penis. My penis can't be contained. My penis has an event horizon, much like a super massive stellar object. My penis can defeat Chuck Norris in unarmed combat. My penis is so gigantic and wonderful that I don't consider it strictly "mine," for to possess it is to have dominion over it, and to have dominion over such a thing would defy elementary logic. My penis is the light, yet it casts perhaps the largest shadow in the known universe. My penis, if truly comprehended, is a powerful insight into the Truth of the Word. My penis can wear the rings of Saturn as a cock ring, provided the rings of Saturn are stretched to the appropriate circumference, at which point the rings cease to exist. Truly, to contemplate my penis is to be one of the three blind men touching and describing the elephant.