Just Learning Gay Guys Are Attracted To Str8 Guys

jharts

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I'm such a dope. Why didn't I know that gay guys are attracted to straights the same way we're attracted to women.

I decided to tune in recently when guys started stopping me in stores and gyms to tell me how healthy I look, etc. I've been exercising to drop the covid stay at home weight gain and lost about 20 lbs.

I'm a straight, muscular 6'2, 230lbs black guy - with typical black guy stuff - round butt, broad shoulders and chest, big fat dick, etc..I take all that for granted. Recently I've been experimenting with bi-stuff... I'm way too straight to let very much go on at all, but it is sorta fun being desired with absolutely no intention of doing anything about it.

Here's the thing -- it seems amazing to me that another guy could find me sexually attractive and want to act on it. So different from the way I view guys - I can tell when a guy is good looking, muscular, etc.. but it doesn't inspire me to do anything other than note it and move on. Lately, I've been paying more attention...

mod translation: What does an average gay guy look for in another man?
 
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jaybee0560

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Dunno if gay guys are specifically attracted to straight guys (Guess some are - but gay guys are not a monolith) - as opposed to gay guys being attracted to men who they find attractive and, given most guys are straight - there's just a good chance that if you're attractive, then some gay guys will find you attractive. Guess the deal here is, if a gay guy finds you attractive, I wouldn't assume its just cos your straight, I wouldn't even assume that being straight is even in the mix. For sure, there may be the thrill of hunting for what you can't have.. maybe you're just their type tho? ..
Its odd that you specifically mention that you're surprised that other guys find you attractive and want to act on it ..cos that's kinda gay/bi 101 - why would gay/bi guys only find other gay/bi guys attractive ?
 

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I'm such a dope. Why didn't I know that gay guys are attracted to straights the same way we're attracted to women.

I decided to tune in recently when guys started stopping me in stores and gyms to tell me how healthy I look, etc. I've been exercising to drop the covid stay at home weight gain and lost about 20 lbs.

I'm a straight, muscular 6'2, 230lbs black guy - with typical black guy stuff - round butt, broad shoulders and chest, big fat dick, etc..I take all that for granted. Recently I've been experimenting with bi-stuff... I'm way too straight to let very much go on at all, but it is sorta fun being desired with absolutely no intention of doing anything about it.

Here's the thing -- it seems amazing to me that another guy could find me sexually attractive and want to act on it. So different from the way I view guys - I can tell when a guy is good looking, muscular, etc.. but it doesn't inspire me to do anything other than note it and move on. Lately, I've been paying more attention...
It's the same if you were to find a lesbian attractive. Being gay just means you have same sex attraction, regardless of how the other person identifies.

Also, I give you my respect for understanding that and not seeing it as some sort of offense to your masculinity. A lot of straight (or bicurious) guys see it as an offense to their manhood if a gay guy dares find them attractive, which often ends in an aggressive confrontation. Like I said, it'd be the same as if you found a lesbian sexually attractive. It just happens, even if the other person doesn't share the same sexual attraction to your gender as you do to theirs.
 

jharts

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Dunno if gay guys are specifically attracted to straight guys (Guess some are - but gay guys are not a monolith) - as opposed to gay guys being attracted to men who they find attractive and, given most guys are straight - there's just a good chance that if you're attractive, then some gay guys will find you attractive. Guess the deal here is, if a gay guy finds you attractive, I wouldn't assume its just cos your straight, I wouldn't even assume that being straight is even in the mix. For sure, there may be the thrill of hunting for what you can't have.. maybe you're just their type tho? ..
Its odd that you specifically mention that you're surprised that other guys find you attractive and want to act on it ..cos that's kinda gay/bi 101 - why would gay/bi guys only find other gay/bi guys attractive ?

Yep, i can see your point. Gay guys are not just attracted to straights. They find all types of guys attractive regardless of the sexual orientation.

I could just be someone's type - probably true. I'm older/mature and have been told I have that "muscle daddy" vibe going -- which is kinda funny to me that someone could focus on your age and parental status... but whatever.

It is odd to me that some guys want to act on their attraction - cause it's not something I'd ever think of doing with a guy...If think a guy is cool, our personalities clicked, I might hang out for a while at a bar or whatever. Or if he were into sports, like basketball or tennis or martial arts, I'd want to compete to see who was better. But that's about it.

That seems pretty different than what gay guys experience and want. From my limited experience, they seem to be open to a lot closer and more intimate experiences and bonding.
 

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It's the same if you were to find a lesbian attractive. Being gay just means you have same sex attraction, regardless of how the other person identifies.

Also, I give you my respect for understanding that and not seeing it as some sort of offense to your masculinity. A lot of straight (or bicurious) guys see it as an offense to their manhood if a gay guy dares find them attractive, which often ends in an aggressive confrontation. Like I said, it'd be the same as if you found a lesbian sexually attractive. It just happens, even if the other person doesn't share the same sexual attraction to your gender as you do to theirs.

Yeah, I'm not into making people feel bad for who they love and how they want to express it. It takes all kinds of people to make a world - that's what I believe. Masculinity isn't defined by who likes you - it's defined by how you act when people depend on you, and whether you can depend on yourself to stand up for your ideals.
 
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As a 1000% Gay guy here, I can tell you, we are NOT attracted to straight men per se.. we are attracted to MEN in general... has nothing to do with them being straight or otherwise.... and I know for me, when I find out a man is straight, I have to tell you it is a turn off if I am being totally honest... and I am no longer attracted.
 

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Yeah, I'm not into making people feel bad for who they love and how they want to express it. It takes all kinds of people to make a world - that's what I believe. Masculinity isn't defined by who likes you - it's defined by how you act when people depend on you, and whether you can depend on yourself to stand up for your ideals.
I applaud you for that because there's plenty of guys out there that think otherwise and 100% agree with your views on masculinity
 

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It is odd to me that some guys want to act on their attraction - cause it's not something I'd ever think of doing with a guy...If think a guy is cool, our personalities clicked, I might hang out for a while at a bar or whatever. Or if he were into sports, like basketball or tennis or martial arts, I'd want to compete to see who was better. But that's about it.

That seems pretty different than what gay guys experience and want. From my limited experience, they seem to be open to a lot closer and more intimate experiences and bonding.

Dude - I'm trying to work out where you are at with all this, not being a dick or anything but .. you seem to be saying that your confused or intrigued that a gay man would want to do more with a man than you would right? .. that's kinda what I mean by that being gay/bi 101 - some guys your just wanna fuck and some guys you may develop feelings for that go beyond bonding over football - I'm at a loss as to why this would be a point that needs elaboration.
 

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Dude - I'm trying to work out where you are at with all this, not being a dick or anything but .. you seem to be saying that your confused or intrigued that a gay man would want to do more with a man than you would right? .. that's kinda what I mean by that being gay/bi 101 - some guys your just wanna fuck and some guys you may develop feelings for that go beyond bonding over football - I'm at a loss as to why this would be a point that needs elaboration.

You're not being a dick, no worries.
Both confused and intrigued - I'm not part of this world of bi/gay stuff so it's all quite new and interesting to me. Think of it like making an unscheduled exit off the highway and finding a neighborhood you didn't know existed, full of people doing interesting things that you never considered...that's why it need elaboration. My questions might seem obvious to you, but to me it's more like trying to get a base level understanding of the way things work.
 
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You're not being a dick, no worries.
Both confused and intrigued - I'm not part of this world of bi/gay stuff so it's all quite new and interesting to me. Think of it like making an unscheduled exit off the highway and finding a neighborhood you didn't know existed, full of people doing interesting things that you never considered...that's why it need elaboration. My questions might seem obvious to you, but to me it's more like trying to get a base level understanding of the way things work.
It's kinda funny. It's almost like you are just realizing gay men exist and have complex emotions too. Like you never realized gay men do things other than just be the butt of a joke or situation in a tv show lol

It also sounds like more that you are realizing men can have sex appeal. Usually straight men only think about women having sex appeal. Obviously they see things that women have are sexy. Some straight men don't realize that obviously they have things that are seen as sexy too. So anyone attracted to men will see these attributes you carry. Congrats on seeing how men can have sexually appealing attributes and that you yourself have them too and can attract other men who like male sex appeal. =)

Edit: I am curious, you say you just realized gay men are attracted to men like straight men are to women. But what did you think happened before? Like you knew gay men love men but is this like an empathy moment and realizing gay men are regular/human like you? Like you never understood this different point of view before? If that is the truth I am actually a bit happy you took it well and was able to understand and have this empathetic moment. Keep looking out for more in other people of differing traits and connect with the world! =)
 
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jharts

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It's kinda funny. It's almost like you are just realizing gay men exist and have complex emotions too. Like you never realized gay men do things other than just be the butt of a joke or situation in a tv show lol

It also sounds like more that you are realizing men can have sex appeal. Usually straight men only think about women having sex appeal. Obviously they see things that women have are sexy. Some straight men don't realize that obviously they have things that are seen as sexy too. So anyone attracted to men will see these attributes you carry. Congrats on seeing how men can have sexually appealing attributes and that you yourself have them too and can attract other men who like male sex appeal. =)

Edit: I am curious, you say you just realized gay men are attracted to men like straight men are to women. But what did you think happened before? Like you knew gay men love men but is this like an empathy moment and realizing gay men are regular/human like you? Like you never understood this different point of view before? If that is the truth I am actually a bit happy you took it well and was able to understand and have this empathetic moment. Keep looking out for more in other people of differing traits and connect with the world! =)


I never really considered that gay men didn't have complex emotions - everyone has those, so that's not it. Just realized they exist - probably true since most of my friends are straight and the ones who are gay dont really talk to me about sex stuff. Gay people are human - yes, of course I knew that - but just didn't consider the emotions and mechanism around human attraction as it relates to gays - or anyone else for that matter - except for women..Or to put it more clearly, my thoughts kinda revolved around - what can I do to get that sexy woman in bed with me, and what are the chances of getting a blow job.

I'm probably sexy but I never considered that from a male's point of view - I guess I kinda blocked that out because I got a lot of unwanted sexual attention from gay guys when I was younger -- and interestingly enough, from old white women. Go figure. So I kinda blocked that avenue of thought out entirely. But it's interesting to know that what other men think is sexy and attractive.