''just pumping away''

[BigDallasDick8x6]

I agree if it's done right there is a time and place for the jackhammer.

Me too. Some women are into it.

 

[Tattooed Goddess]

He knows when im ready for that, its something you build up to in the moment. Although i have to admit he tends to jack hammer right off the bat if we are standing up fucking in the shower because when we are facing each other we cant get it deep enough.

 

[B_crackoff]

I'm surprised by most women's (& men's) posts on this.

There are 3 reasons guys "Jackhammer" with apparent disregard to their partner.

1/ They don't know any better - Easily fixed by their partner actually communicating with them - I mean it's not difficult is it. "hey, why don 't we break up the sex a bit, I like it varied, it really turns me on when you do....". It really is that simple.
2/ They've drunk so much that absolutely nothing is going to get them off.
3/ And most important - you aren't doing anything yourself to get them off, & the only way that they can retain "wood" & get some sensation is to crack it home like a bull in rutting season.

What are you actually doing to get your partner off? Just lying there- have you developed your PC muscles enough to wank him off inside, why not give him some dirty talk(most men have trigger words that make them come - mainly beginning with don't!), suck him off, suggest a 69, slap his arse,bite him, become a wanton animalistic slut - whatever! Add up how much time you've spent giving him head compared to vice-versa (for me it's probably 100-1 in the woman's favour), get some lube & give him the head of his life!

Most women aren't technically that good in bed in my experience (but of course make up for half of that by wearing sexy gear etc)-they really enjoy receiving pleasure - but just don't have the confidence (or don't care!)to ask a man what he likes, or how it is for him! So it's communication on both sides that's required.

Men do forget that most of a woman's body is an erogenous zone, mainly because men erogenous zones are around the crotch - but most men get turned on simply by their partner being turned on, & kissing, stroking etc comes from having greater intimacy - which also comes from greater communication. If you want more of this, just as he's getting ready to throw you on the bed, tell him you feek kinky & want to stand in front of the mirror while he oils you up & kiss your neck & ears while he does it. ALL MEN would like this, more foreplay for you, & a total turn on for him!

I've been appalled @ some of the statements complaining about being used like a wank machine, then giving advice on how to train your man to be your wank machine.

I've learned good sex isn't about desperately trying to have an orgasm, but enjoying the ride together, & 2 or 3 hours of doing different things,creating the intimacy with intense sexual feelings & emotions is far better - though I will say when a women is that turned on they really do appreciate & demand the old jackhammer!

Ask not what your partner can do for you, but what you can do for your partner - if you can both do this & be honest - & the female ego is as fragile as a man's - the sex will be good.

 

[dolfette]

i find it amusing when people assume that, because they would respond in what they consider to be a reasonable manner, everybody will respond in a reasonable manner.

 

[Enid]

...why not give him some dirty talk(most men have trigger words that make them come - mainly beginning with don't!)...

Are you saying that a common trigger word for men (to make them cum) is "don't"?

 

[B_crackoff]

Yeah! Don't is a word that is followed by a command - the brain processes the command - so "don't come in me" translates as "come in me" which can obviously hurry things along! You can put a lot of ideas into peoples heads with "Don't"!

As for the comment about reasonable people - why would you even want to sleep with someone who you felt was unreasonable to you in bed? It's give & take, & if they won't give - you take it away!:biggrin1:

 

[dolfette]

good grief *sigh*

 

[Enid]

...so "don't come in me" translates as "come in me"...

I'm trying to understand, but I'm really confused by this statement. Why would the statement "don't cum in me" -- which she/he would ostensibly be saying for a reason -- translate to the total opposite?

 

[Pendlum]

I'm trying to understand, but I'm really confused by this statement. Why would the statement "don't cum in me" -- which she/he would ostensibly be saying for a reason -- translate to the total opposite?

I don't get it either, unless it is a split second thing where he comes right as he hears that (doubtful), he'll have enough time to process the don't. Especially since it came before the command! You know since saying don't before a command tells you to make the command 'negative' essentially.

It's not like if I'm at subway and I say "Don't put onions on that", they slap the onions on and suddenly go "Oh, I'm sorry the don't was before the command so it translated to me as put onions on it."

 

[Cougar]

That's why I tell a guy to "hurry up and cum" so he won't cum.

 

[Pendlum]

That's why I tell a guy to "hurry up and cum" so he won't cum.

It's perfect logic. Wait, I better say It is NOT perfect logic, so that you know that I mean It is perfect logic, right?

 

[shoxx]

i get bored.
bores, bored, bored!

i'm not a vag holder, i'm a whole person.
touch my skin! no, not just in the naughty places. all over. my neck and back, if stroked gently, will fill me with tingles. i like feeling fingers in my hair and teeth nibbling my neck. i want to feel like you're moving with me, not moving in time to the clock.

it sucks.

{and exhale...}

i aggree, rubbing the back of the knee and grabbing the neck hair slightly just commanding not brutal, some kisses on the stomach and some teasing nibbles along the way to the desired area. Its all fun to get close but not go for the clit all at once, so i know exactly what your saying and know that you dont wanna just feel like a garage for the car. You have feelings a heart and a brain, us men dont give women enough credit for how smart you truly are. Its a shame the guys like that give us a bad name which leads to stereotypical opinions. But either way its about working on one's self that improves any relationship, gay, straighy, family, or friend. I guess what your saying is you want the actions to take place without giving instructions.

 

[B_crackoff]

Because you've just put an idea into someone's head. They weren't thinking about it till you said it. Think about being a kid & bringing a bottle of milk to the table & your Mom says "Don't spill that milk" - now you're thinking about it whereas before you weren't & now have a certain amount of anxiety related to it.

Now imagine you're having sex bareback with a guy - he feels in control - he's having a good time, bringing up the speed - you panic & say "Don't come in me!" - he now has all that in his head, & your apparent anxiety - & all that primal early man fear stuff about getting it over & done with before you're attacked - & he'll feel like coming! It's not a pleasurable orgasm, but before "Good Grief" woman starts up again - I can tell you it is the worst thing during sex a woman can say to a man if she doesn't want him to come! I've laughed with mates about this before.

If I said "don't think about me F**king your sister" while having sex- it would be straight on your mind.

Its the power of suggestion - & the mind is riddled with anxieties, & ones which relate to personal performance are paramount. Have you ever found it easier reverse parking while being watched? Not unless you are entirely self confident in this field. Ever seen Gordon Ramsay on Hell's Kitchen looming over the contestants - he literally makes them cak handed & worse - & every time he talks to them he makes them so self-concious they become babbling fools.

Hope this helps - we've gone off the topic here!

 

[Pendlum]

That isn't what you said at first, you said that don't come in me translates into "come in me." That isn't the same as saying a thought has been put into your head and becoming anxious because of it.

 

[B_crackoff]

Good grief "He He". Sorry if I overestimated the intellectual ability & lateral thinking capabilty of the forum!

Being as it was just one line!!!!!!!!! in my response, I didn't think it needed an entire explanation. The main point was communication, & if you're moaning that you can't communicate & the sex is bad - don't have sex. Men aren't mind readers, & neither are women.

Here's what a psychologist would say to the just pumping away contributor - "what's up" - "he's just pumping away" - "so what are you going to do about it!" And just continue in that circular question until you decide you are gonna do something or not.

I'm off to get drunk & get laid now -I hope you all get some too!

 

[dolfette]

 

[Pendlum]

Like you said, we're not mind readers. I couldn't read your mind to tell that you meant what you meant. Instead I used what you wrote, which clearly isn't the same thing that you later clarified, much better I might add.

Have fun.

 

[L_Lynn]

Because you've just put an idea into someone's head. They weren't thinking about it till you said it. Think about being a kid & bringing a bottle of milk to the table & your Mom says "Don't spill that milk" - now you're thinking about it whereas before you weren't & now have a certain amount of anxiety related to it....

I recall reading a study about this in psych class many, many years ago. It was presented that our brains process positives rather than negatives. So if you want your spouse to remember to pick up milk on the way home from work, you would say, "Remember to get the milk," instead of, "Don't forget the milk," which is really telling him/her to, "Forget the milk."

With kids you want to say, "Be careful with that," rather than, "Don't drop it."
With guys you want to say, "Pull out!" rather than, "Don't cum in me."

I have used all these examples, some more than most, and they have all worked exceedingly well.

 

[shoxx]

That's why I tell a guy to "hurry up and cum" so he won't cum.

LoL thats grand.

 

[Pendlum]

Then why do we have the word don't if it tells us to do the opposite of what we want it to do? Or any other negatives? Our brains may process things as a positive first, but I can't believe that it can only process positives.