just simply jokes make me giggle if you can

Discussion in 'Funny Stuff: Jokes, Quizzes, Games & Pics' started by exlinebacker46, Jul 11, 2007.

  1. exlinebacker46

    exlinebacker46 New Member

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    A Deaf mute walks into pharmacy to buy condoms. He has difficulty communicating with the pharmacist, and cannot see condoms on the shelf. Frustrated, the deaf-mute finally unzips his pants, places his dick on the counter, and puts down a five dollar bill next to it. The pharmacist unzips his pants, does the same as the deaf- mute, and then picks up both bills and stuffs them in his pocket. Exasperated, the deaf mute begins to curse the pharmacist wildly in sign language. "Look," the pharmacist says, "if you can't afford to lose, you shouldn't bet."
     
  2. whatireallywant

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    A man walked into the bar, and noticed that there was a horse being kept in an adjoining stable.
    He said to the barkeep, "Have you ever seen a horse laugh?" The barkeep shook his head.
    "I'll bet you 50 dollars I can make that horse laugh.", said the man.
    The bartender laughed, slapping $50 on the counter. "Good luck with that one!", he said.
    So, the man got up, and went over to the horse. The barkeep wached as the man leaned over, and whispered somthing in the horse's ear. To the barkeeps astonishment, the horse burst immediately into what could only be the horse equivalent of genuine laughter.
    "How'd you do that?!", the barkeep asked as the man came back.
    "Never mind.", said the man, "I'll bet you 50 more I can make him cry.
    The barkeep was eager to win his money back, and also curious enough, so, he took the wager.
    The man went back over to the horse, and went behind the door of the stall. The bar keep couldn't see what the man did, but he heard the faint noise of a zipper. Sure enough, the horse began to cry, with real tears streaking it's face.
    The barkeep paid up, and said, " Ok, now you gotta tell me how you're doing that!"
    "It's simple", the man replied. "To make him laugh, I told him I was hung better than he was. And then, to make him cry, I proved it!"
     
  3. exlinebacker46

    exlinebacker46 New Member

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    Bob goes into the public restroom and sees this guy standing next to the urinal. The guy has no arms. As Bob's standing there, taking care of business, he wonders to himself how the poor wretch is going to take a leak. Bob finishes and starts to leave when the man asks Bob to help him out. Being a kind soul, Bob says, "Ah, OK, sure, I'll help you." The man asks, "Can you unzip my zipper?" Bob says, "OK." Then the man says, "Can you pull it out for me?" Bob replies, "Uh, yeah, OK." Bob pulls it out and it has all kinds of mold and red bumps, with hair clumps, rashes, moles, scabs, scars, and reeks something awful. Then the guy asks Bob to point it for him, and Bob points for him. Bob then shakes it, puts it back in and zips it up. The guy tells Bob, "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it." Bob says, "No problem, but what the hell's wrong with your penis?" The guy pulls his arms out of his shirt and says, "I don't know, but I ain't touching it."
     
  4. ZOS23xy

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    There was a man who had three penises.

    His pants fit like a glove.
     
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