Just something that annoys me, about me.

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by SyddyKitty, Apr 27, 2008.

  1. SyddyKitty

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    I feel this post fits here simply because it's a big issue when thinking about relationships.

    I'm not going to go too deep into this, at first (kind of depends on how people respond... and hahaha about how that fits in with this post). I don't feel like I'm accomplishing anything worthwhile unless I'm doing it alongside someone else. Even with my art. If it's just for me, it's wasted time. Nothing holds my intestest, even things I enjoy doing, unless I'm enjoying them with another person. Without the company, I find myself unmotivated to do ANYTHING, including working on this problem (don't suggest a shrink, as I don't have the money to see one anymore).

    So yea, that's something that annoys me about myself that I lack the motivation to fix. It's an excuse I've used for myself for years - "If I don't have a boyfriend then what's the point in trying?" and things along those lines. I also lack ANY local friends (though I have a huge amount of online friends I keep in constant contact with, which counts for something). That means, I have no actual social interaction outside of work (in which I hate everyone but have to act fake so I don't get fired).

    My only reason for getting into school was to have "something more to offer" in a relationship.
     
  2. Phil Ayesho

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    Read the book "into the wild" or watch the movie...


    The kid who goes off to Alaska to live a "real" Life...

    One of the last things he writes in his journal before dying is that Happiness is not real unless its shared.


    There is nothing wrong with you, nothing to be upset about.


    Art is nothing but a form of communication... without someone to communicate to, there is nothing to communicate about.


    Do not think you are less than whole without a boyfriend...
    When you don't have one... surround yourself with friends and your family of choice...

    Immerse yourself in the activity and thoughts of others... read literature, see theatre...

    The only real joy in life is thru identification and sympathy with other souls who have had to live and love and long and face mortality.


    The most important tip I can offer...

    Don't WAIT for a community of like minded people to show up...

    If you don't have one available...

    CREATE the community you want to be part of.

    Life is a performance artwork.

    Make your's beautiful.
     
  3. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

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    Perhaps setting small goals for yourself to accomplish might help you. I know I hate being around people and have to force myself to leave the house for social events.
     
  4. SyddyKitty

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    Supposedly people pick up on desperation, so my trying to make friends (knowing myself and such) and build my own community probably wouldn't work so well. I still have no driving force to motivate that change, and forcing motivation upon myself makes me think I'd seem more desperate.

    Well, I could always save money to visit an online friend or two... but hmm, I have enough debts.


    Your post IS something to really think about though. It's much appreciated. n_n;
     
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