AlteredEgo
Mythical Member
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- Hello (Sud-Ouest, Burkina Faso)
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I used to love for my associates to refer all the "Karens" to me. I must know 100 ways to make "no" sound like "yes" but these women always see right through all of them. They know I'm offering compromise, and they hate compromise. Usually, they wanted to return pillows after breaking the seal on them. But I trained my people well. No pillows could leave the store without the associate AND the cashier double checking the seal. The sales associate was also required to tell the customer that the floor samples in the store were broken in from thousands of guests trying them out, that brand new pillows would feel significantly firmer, that it would take about two months of nightly use to get to the same softness as the demos, and that there was no possible way to return the pillows once the seal was broken. I also posted a sign near the demos saying the same thing. I posted a blowup of the return policy near the registers. I had my cashiers circle the receipt and quote the part of that policy regarding items that could not be returned. So "Karens" always gave me receipts on which someine had circled that the pillows could not come back to us. Other managers would get worn out by the weight of privilege. Not I. I only cared about good service and profits. "Ma'am. It is illegal for me to repackage and sell this pillow. I have to destroy it. Destroying a $200 pillow is not only bad business for me, it is environmentally irresponsible. This pillow is yours to keep, or give as a gift. I am very sorry you don't like it though. I would like to give you my personal apology for your dissatisfaction, and this voucher for 25% off any item in the store that is our store brand."
"I want to speak to YOUR manager."
"Ma'am, I run this store all by myself today, and almost every day. I would love to accomodate you. I can have one of my associates show you a much softer pillow, and extend to you a 10% discount in addition to the 25% off voucher. You will also receive a free gift worth $20. No one is permitted to accept returns for pillows for the reasons I previously outlined. But these things I can do for you. I regret that you are unsatisfied with your purchase."
Men can be Karen too. An associate sold a $450 drone before drones were fashionable. We were trained by rhe manufacturer never to accept returns, but rather to let the manufacturer resolve issues themselves.
"This fucking thing broke already! I want my money back!"
"I have examined it. I see that it has damage from a crash. I can have an associate give you a flying lesson, though we will not be able to allow you to fly ours. Meanwhile, when you get home, just contact Parrot. They will send you replacement parts, or repair your drone for you. I am not permitted to accept returns. If I do, we will lose our license to sell these items. Parrot cares deeply about your satisfaction, and will absolutely make sure your drone flies again. It is under warranty still."
Karen's male counterpart then flies into a blind rage and smashes the drone beyond warranty and repair, screaming at me the whole time while I call security and the police.
Hilarious. Sometimes I miss retail.
