Keep her or let her go? is i GF material or not?

Discussion in 'Relationships, Discrimination, and Jealousy' started by camelboy, Aug 3, 2007.

  1. camelboy

    camelboy New Member

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    Hello,
    Going out with this girl 24 years old. I'm 22.
    I have been with this girl since June.
    She went on vacation to see her parents in Europe for a month.
    We wrote each other email and spoke online almost every day for the entire month.

    She came back a month ago. Now she's always partying with her friends. She doesnt invite me. She always go out with her girl friends to party and drink a few days a week. I hardly get to see her and she can hang out cause she's always busy.

    She's been very sweet and gave me lots of gifts when she came back.
    I just wish she would call more often and go out.

    We had sex only once before she left. (without condom) It was great.
    Last sunday we were going to do it and she insisted that i wear a condom(i hate them, but that's fine). I did not enjoy it at all.

    Something was wrong. When i inserted my finger, she was like "aww aww aww..slowly baby." it was like she was in pain from my finger. She even told me when she got back that we cant have sex until she is ready. I said fine, without asking her why or what's wrong.
    I was just glad she's back.

    Now she goes with her friends all the time without even calling me or inviting me.

    is she cheating? what is going on with her?
    I need to talk to her, but what do u guys think?
     
  2. Iowaguy09

    Verified Gold Member

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    You just need to talk to her about it. If you love her and she loves you then she will come back, but your best bet is to talk to her before you do anything.
     
  3. wonderland

    wonderland Member

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    She may not be cheating. But she may want a more casual relationship than you do. Only way to find out is to ask her.
    Make sure you use condoms, better safe than sorry.
     
  4. CUBE

    Gold Member

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    ditto
     
  5. Jovial

    Gold Member

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    Great for you or great for her?
    Sounds like she is not too aroused when you put your finger in and from the other things you said that she's not too into you anymore. Most girls don't want to tell you they don't like you anymore because they are scared to hurt your feelings. (Some men get angry.) They kind of just ignore you and hope you take a hint and break up with them.

    It doesn't seem fair, but sometimes they only give you one or maybe two chances to impress them sexually. And they usually won't tell you they didn't like it or why.

    Sorry for being cynical, but that's how I see it. Find someone that's more into you.
     
  6. fallon2

    fallon2 New Member

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    She has outgrown you. Face it, you two are through. She has not only distanced herself emotionally from you but physically as well.

    Now that you know this . . . accept it rather than fight it.

    There are other fish in the sea and be glad that this fish didn't get all your bait.

    Move on, buddy. Its tough but you will get over it.
     
  7. B_ScaredLittleBoy

    B_ScaredLittleBoy New Member

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    I don't know about ending it but she certainly isn't doing her part of the work in this relationship.

    I would have said she was cheating (she may have thought she had an STD and wanted you to use a condom so you wouldn't get it/suspect anything). However, in my experiences girls go tight when they haven't had sex for awhile. But not 1-finger-tight. That pain on penetration could indicate an STD or thrust etc.

    It does sound a bit fishy and honestly a girl going out that much is likely to do at least something with another guy. Either intentionally or when 'drunk'.

    PS obviously I mean thrush...so tired

    This is my take on things. Maybe I'm a pessimist but she isn't giving you many or any signs that she cares about you or wants to see you as much as you do her.

    If you can, I would end it. She could be diseased at worst. At best, she just isn't into you.

    Take care of yourselves...and each other :tongue:
     
  8. SpoiledPrincess

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    Let her go, you don't really have a relationship, she spends all her time with her friends and doesn't really want to be with you, it's time to move on and find someone who wants to be with you.
     
  9. Curious Gal

    Curious Gal New Member

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    I agree :)
     
  10. SteveWood

    SteveWood New Member

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    I agree, too, but don't beat yourself up over the idea that the problem is sexual (i.e. poor performance by you). There are a lot of reasons why people don't "click" that have nothing to do with sex, one of them being that she may just not want to be tied down w/ a bf right now. Frankly, having known her for only two months, half of which time she was abroad, it's a little early to consider anything she does as "cheating."

    If the idea of breaking it off completely is too difficult for you to handle, take a break. Don't call or e-mail her for a week or so. See if she calls you. If not, you could try ONE more call/e-mail, brief and very low-key, and see what kind of reception you get. If it's not extremely enthusiastic, and she's obviously not dying to see you, then it's over, dude. Move on. You definitely don't want to hear the "I like you as a friend, but" speech or the "it's not you, it's me" speech, or anything else that will leave you feeling not only hurt but pathetic as well. That's a bad combination.
     
  11. kurios

    kurios Member

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    Start shopping now unless youre prepared to wait till she finally moves on which I hate to say is what she seems to be preparing for now.
    Hope Im wrong but take care of yourself
     
  12. TheManTheLegend

    TheManTheLegend New Member

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    shes cheating....thats the vibe i get....she carries the symtoms....she sounds like she did a 180 since her return, its not worth it
     
  13. B_NineInchCock_160IQ

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    It sounds like, if she's not cheating, at the very least she's not as in to you as you'd like for her to be. If you're unhappy, then look somewhere else. If you want to try to work things out, talk to her about it. If her behavior doesn't change right away, don't expect her to come around later, though. I wasted months on a girl like that once. So much squandered time and effort...
     
  14. OmahaBeef

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    A-men!

    The whole cheating thing is iffy, but it sounds that if she hasn't already, she is on her way towards it.

    Not to sound like a party pooper, but why trifle over a woman who is out drinking and partying 3-4 nights a week at 24-25 years old?

    Treat her like she's from Wisconsin and send her Green Bay Packin...

    ...OB
     
  15. camelboy

    camelboy New Member

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    ok just for those who want to know and for those who posted.
    results are in, thanks for your posts.

    So today she finally comes out with me. we hang out i took her out to eat to this nice bar/restuarant. We had a few drinks and really good food.
    I paid for everything. Was about 100 bux and tip. not bad.

    Then we went to the movies for a couple of hours.

    From the moment we met, she was acting kind of quite.
    Usually at the movies, she would hold my arm or lean against me or put her legs on top of mine.

    Today was all different, she was to herself and i tried breaking the ice by putting my hand around her and touching her hand, but she was not reacting to it as she did before.

    On the way home, i started talking about friends and stuff and she was having fun, then we got into the convo about hanging out and i told her how come we dont hang out much, then blah blah blah, she tells me she wants it to be fair if we just stay as friends and not bf and gf. So after i dig into why she wants it, then she tells me cause "im a bad girl" and laughes it off. She said that before in the past, but it just annoyed me, but now i understand. she said she loves freedom, eventhough she had it.

    It just seems that she loves to go out party and meet different guys.

    Shame cause i was really into her and she's smart and hard working.

    So that's it, that's how everything ended up. Sad
     
  16. Red_Rebel

    Red_Rebel Active Member

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    Holiiiiii crap!! u guys hav to stop with the cheating garbage....u two dont need a break either -_-...heres wat u hav to learn relationships arent always the same as if it was jus the beginning...they usually start wit u two havin to screw around each other a lot but there comes a point where that slows down a bit and dont take it as if shes not into u any more!

    u jus need to adjust to it...give her the space yet let her know wat its down to u..but dont make it sound like its all about u cuz thats jus plain selfiish LOL
     
  17. OmahaBeef

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    Notice how you get told this AFTER you drop the Benjamin on dinner and movie...

    Move on bro...

    ...OB
     
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