So, this might be kind of long, but in order to get the advice we need, you have to have the history: I am 21 he is 32, which not a big issue, but it plays a role. He has grown used to watching porn and using it when he was with his exes, but now focuses on us, which seems to cause problems also. We have been together for nearly a year, and have had our ups and downs, which when the emotion isn't there, tends to be problematic. I have issues from my past that find their way into our sex life and prevent me from being completely open to all adventures. There is more, but allow me to ask for advice. . . We haven't been able to get eachother off like we used to. He doesn't have the amazing teeth grinding ejaculations anymore, and when I do have what we call my "super ones", he holds it against me asking me why if we aren't connecting and happy with eachtother, why can I still find the motivation to get myself off better than before. We have control issues, he has a problem not being in control, but craves more attention. I have looked up numerous sites to help me find ways to give him sooo much pleasure without steering all the control my way, but have come up empty. We are finally to the point where it is a quick 5 minute thing before we fall asleep and that is it. We have reconnected in every other aspect of our relationship (considering I was going through a depression) and feel like we can work on our sex life with the help and advice from others who might have been through this. Can anyone offer suggestions to something new, exciting, fun, loving, etc?