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Kinky, Perverted,fetish-sex

Discussion in 'Ask a Gay Man' started by twinkish92, Oct 19, 2020.

  1. twinkish92

    twinkish92 Well-Liked Member

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    I have been in a relationship with this guy for two years now. We love sex and are horny all the time.

    I have noticed that he is chatting with other dudes, previously hookups, and i figured out that im not kinky and enough perverted. Is like he has this rape fantasy.. Im very dominant on my side. But obviously not enough for him. Since he is dreaming about those old times... Btw is that normal? is it something i should be worried about ?

    Can someone give me som tips or pointers to how I can please this more perverted need ? Im down for whatever, almost everything turns me on.. But im not sure what to do to make it more dirty and rape`ish..

    How would you as a bottom want it ? how would you as a top make the fantasy be for filled ?
     
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  2. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Legendary Member

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    I would ask him what he likes. You could ask him if he has particularly favorite porn scenes you can watch together.

    But then again the problem may not be you. He just might be the type who wants variety and nothing you do will keep his attention for long.
     
  3. twinkish92

    twinkish92 Well-Liked Member

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    But i shouldn't be worried that he texts and sends videos with there ? He saids his mine and only mine.. But u know, feels a little bad.

    We watch a lot of kinky porn. But i think the sexpartnere he has been with earlier has really been rough and perverted to him.
     
  4. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Legendary Member

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    It comes back to what kind of relationship you have. ie monogamous, open, threesome only, etc. If you haven't had that discussion by now, you should. If he doesn't know your boundaries then it's hard for him to know and respect them.

    If you aren't comfortable with what he is doing, then you should tell him that you aren't happy with him sharing. See what he says and maybe you can come to an agreement.

    Yes all relationships require some compromise, but we all have boundaries and you shouldn't feel bad for sticking to yours either. Because in time, compromising your boundaries will lead to resentment and corrosion of your relationship. Better to end it early before you get to that point and waste each other's time.
     
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  5. Brodie888

    Brodie888 Legendary Member

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    If you are monogamous, I think sending things of a sexual nature to ex partners is playing with fire, but that's just me. I would personally prefer more certainty in a partner but once again, that's me.

    Sending things to strangers requires some trust but it can be just fantasy and be fine.

    If he makes you feel like you aren't enough after only 2 years, then you may need to have a good think if it's worth investing any more time.

    Unfortunately it's hard being the half who is more devoted than the other.
     
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  6. Jaden90

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    I can relate to this on some level being in a couple that has somewhat different expectations and differences in sex-drive. It's hard to be online and not be approached by other guys, I've found. It has ended up with me, in weaker moments, exchanging pics and having sexy chat with other guys. When the attention is forthcoming from your partner then it's hard to ignore from other people.

    In your situation it doesn't sound like that's the case though, rather than you're not extreme enough for your partner. Personally I've found that there are plenty of things that turn me on in principle that I wouldn't necessarily be prepared to try out for myself. Often the fantasy is better than the real deal and your partner might do well to take that on board.

    In order to deal with any resentment or potential issues it is best to be as communicative as possible. Tell him that this bothers you and what you expect from your relationship. It may well be there are things you could experiment with, there are middle-grounds in every situation.
     
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  7. twinkish92

    twinkish92 Well-Liked Member

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    Thx for the reply. Is what u wanted to hear.
     
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