kisses are icky

biguy2738

Experimental Member
Joined
Mar 27, 2007
Posts
2,310
Media
7
Likes
22
Points
183
Location
Johannesburg, South Africa
Sexuality
50% Straight, 50% Gay
Gender
Male
Hindipridemn, I hope that what I'm going to say doesn't offend you (many people have issues with the nature of my suggestion which they take as an insult) because after the amount of courage and risk that you've taken to post so openly and honestly about yourself, I really do respect you.

In all honesty, I think that the best way for you to deal with your predicament would be for you to see a therapist. I think that your reluctance to kiss your fiance aren't the real problem, but merely indicate as you have already stated, your relationship with your parents have led to trust issues and being abused by a group of teenage boys makes things worse.

The fact of the matter is that even if you were able to have a kiss-less marriage, you and your bride would still have major problems. Your trust issues would certainly prevent you from opening up to her completely. You wouldn't be able to love her in all entirety, and much as you would try to disguise it, it would still be blatantly obvious to her.

I think that it's wonderful that even though it's an arranged marriage, you believe that your fiance is "the one". It would be a terrible tragedy for either your marriage to fail or for both of you to be trapped in an unhappy and unfulfilling marriage.

I have no doubt that if you deal with your trust issues and resolve them, you will be able to open yourself up to her. Perhaps you will want to kiss her and perhaps your autism will prevent you from desiring such contact. The fact of the matter is, if your future bride is allowed into the deep recesses of your heart and your life, I am certain that you will both be able to find creative and meaningful ways to express your love and intimacy.

Thing is though, you may find ways to be able to kiss her, however if you still suffer from being unable to trust her, you'll most probably find yourselves being miserable and perhaps even resentful towards each other.

All of the best, both now and for the future!
 
  • Like
Reactions: dreamer20

dreamer20

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
Posts
7,963
Media
3
Likes
19,693
Points
643
Gender
Male
kisses are icky:
I really do love her even though I have never met her in person. I am getting married November 9. I am afraid of kissing...
I need advice on how to become more comfortable with kissing.

hindupridemn your marriage is a done deal. Don't worry about the kissing part. It appears to me that if you are both of the same culture then perhaps kissing will be a new experience for both of you. As a couple you have a lifetime ahead of you to experiment and get comfortable with kissing. So go to it man.:wink:

http://www.lpsg.org/807241-post58.html
 

B_lrgeggs

Experimental Member
Joined
Jun 30, 2006
Posts
836
Media
0
Likes
14
Points
163
Location
mid-atlantic region
Sexuality
Unsure
Gender
Male
Hindupridemn,

Hope you and your bride are doing well.
I wanted to revive this post to find out how you are doing with the Kissing Issue. I understand where you are coming from, I am not into kissing either.
 

D_Coyne Toss

Expert Member
Joined
Sep 24, 2004
Posts
1,750
Media
0
Likes
176
Points
193
I really need to kiss my wife! I love the intimacy, the tenderness we share while kissing.

Kiss is the most intimate act, it is easier to fuck than to kiss.

What does you make uncomfortable about it? To much intimacy?
 

ManlyBanisters

Sexy Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2007
Posts
12,253
Media
0
Likes
58
Points
183
Hmmm, I'd still be interested in seeing some supporting evidence of the "as bad as cannibalism" bit - I figure there must be some cultures where mouth on mouth contact is seen as wrong - but "as bad as cannibalism"?






.
 
Last edited:

dreamer20

Worshipped Member
Gold
Platinum Gold
Joined
Apr 14, 2006
Posts
7,963
Media
3
Likes
19,693
Points
643
Gender
Male
...I want to make sure my children are raised Hindu...
As for kissing, it is permitted by our religion but was never part of our culture until contact with the West. My parents and their generation have never kissed but modern women like my future wife will probably expect it.

Sexually repressed you and your parents may not have indulged in kissing. However kissing has been part of Hindu culture from antiquity. It was the West, specifically Britain, that introduced a culture of sexual repression in India circa the Victorian era. The world's most famous sex manual is the ancient Hindu text called the Kama Sutra. Note that this text has illustrations and advice regarding kissing as shown at the following link:

Kama Sutra: Kissing