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Kissing... a subtle science and exact art.
- Thread starter Rugbypup
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Bbucko
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My first kiss was a girl I met at school. We were both 14 and I found her really sexy. My mother disapproved of her (thought she was trampy) and that was pretty much that.
It wasn't until two years later that I began real make-out sessions with girls, though I really never got further than second base.
At 17 I discovered men and never really looked back, but from the beginning such experiences involved much more than kissing.
As far as technique goes, I guess I was something of a prodigy: I never really needed any training period. The whole thing came extremely naturally.
It wasn't until two years later that I began real make-out sessions with girls, though I really never got further than second base.
At 17 I discovered men and never really looked back, but from the beginning such experiences involved much more than kissing.
As far as technique goes, I guess I was something of a prodigy: I never really needed any training period. The whole thing came extremely naturally.
If my experience is any judge, you're apparently never too old to know that close contact with foul-smelling, foul-tasting oral bacteria may not appeal to the stranger you are kissing for the first time.
It may seem like a no-brainer but brushing (especially the back of your tongue where the bacterial colonies like to lounge) is Step Zero of the Art of Kissing, unless your partner is a self-avowed raunchy-sex-seeker.
Sloppy, saliva-soaked tongues are in most cases not welcome either. If you can flex your biceps, you can probably flex your tongue too...Make it like an oral erection.
Have tons of fun!
It may seem like a no-brainer but brushing (especially the back of your tongue where the bacterial colonies like to lounge) is Step Zero of the Art of Kissing, unless your partner is a self-avowed raunchy-sex-seeker.
Sloppy, saliva-soaked tongues are in most cases not welcome either. If you can flex your biceps, you can probably flex your tongue too...Make it like an oral erection.
Have tons of fun!
D_Jurgen Klitgaard
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My first kiss was with my gf now, and it was awkward as hell for me. :redface: I was far from pro, but I think I started to get better as I kept doing it. Now I love kissing her! :wink:
Kissing is a combo of science and art, but mostly just nature.
But there are a few things to keep in mind. I should say that I am writing this from a male heterosexual perspective. The male usually has to make the first move. The male is the aggresser and the female will let you know the pace you are allowed to move in. Too much aggression is bad, not enough is also bad. You are the "man" after all. And women do like to be "taken", within reason.
-The approach. Never ask if you can kiss. You will either know you can or not. Women may expect you to try, and they will give you subtle hints if you can or not. Learn to pick up these clues. And sometimes you just have to go for it!
When your face gets to a certain distance from hers and the chemistry is right, I call this entering each others orbit zone. Becuase it becomes very obvious what will happen next. You will get this tinge feeling. A feeling of enevitabilty. That is why it is "dangerous" to get that close to a woman. When you enter her orbit zone, if she feels the tinge too, you will kiss. All reason goes out the window. You see this in movies a lot.
-Head position. You will have to decide which way you will tilt your head. This is like being left handed or right. You just go with whatever comes the most natural.
-The start. It is best to start out slower with just lips and gradually build.
-Breathing. Contary to what you might hear on TV, you are NOT holding your breath. In fact, you could be breathing heavier.
-Watch the saliva. You will exchange fluids. It can get messy. You have to learn to suck some in and swallow it so it doesnt slob all over the other person's face. And dont slup when you do this. This requires some finesse.
-Tounge play. They call it tounge wrestling for a reason. But, you dont slip in the tounge right away. You ease into it. First a kiss with lips. Slowly, you intoduce the tip of your tounge. If you get a response, you play with it a little. Then you gradaually introduce more as things get heavier and more passionate.
-Tounge sucking. Gently sucking on your partners tounge is another spice.
-Biting or nibbling. These are little things that create different sensations while kissing or at this point, making out. You can GENTLY bit the tounge or the lips. GENTLY!
-Teeth. I should point this out. Becareful you dont get too aggressive because your teeth could hit each other. Or, this happened to me, her teeth would hit my lip and actually make it bleed.
-Other weird things. I read that you could use you tounge to stimulate a girl's perilium (something like that). The is the flap of skin in a girl where the upper lip meets the gum. Supposedly, there is a nerve that is directly connected to her clitoris and will make her more sexually excited. I have tried it and only got a weird look and a, "What are you doing?" So much for science!
-Style. You are going to notice that differnt people have different styles in the way they kiss. Some may be softer, others more aggressive. Some more messy, some with finesse, and every other variation you could think of. From my experiance, no two people kiss the same. This is a subtle nuance, or in some cases, obvious.
And the weird thing is that you are not supposed to think anything. You are supposed to loose yourself in the moment and just respond. I hope this helps, because in the end, it isnt rocket science. :wink:
But there are a few things to keep in mind. I should say that I am writing this from a male heterosexual perspective. The male usually has to make the first move. The male is the aggresser and the female will let you know the pace you are allowed to move in. Too much aggression is bad, not enough is also bad. You are the "man" after all. And women do like to be "taken", within reason.
-The approach. Never ask if you can kiss. You will either know you can or not. Women may expect you to try, and they will give you subtle hints if you can or not. Learn to pick up these clues. And sometimes you just have to go for it!
When your face gets to a certain distance from hers and the chemistry is right, I call this entering each others orbit zone. Becuase it becomes very obvious what will happen next. You will get this tinge feeling. A feeling of enevitabilty. That is why it is "dangerous" to get that close to a woman. When you enter her orbit zone, if she feels the tinge too, you will kiss. All reason goes out the window. You see this in movies a lot.
-Head position. You will have to decide which way you will tilt your head. This is like being left handed or right. You just go with whatever comes the most natural.
-The start. It is best to start out slower with just lips and gradually build.
-Breathing. Contary to what you might hear on TV, you are NOT holding your breath. In fact, you could be breathing heavier.
-Watch the saliva. You will exchange fluids. It can get messy. You have to learn to suck some in and swallow it so it doesnt slob all over the other person's face. And dont slup when you do this. This requires some finesse.
-Tounge play. They call it tounge wrestling for a reason. But, you dont slip in the tounge right away. You ease into it. First a kiss with lips. Slowly, you intoduce the tip of your tounge. If you get a response, you play with it a little. Then you gradaually introduce more as things get heavier and more passionate.
-Tounge sucking. Gently sucking on your partners tounge is another spice.
-Biting or nibbling. These are little things that create different sensations while kissing or at this point, making out. You can GENTLY bit the tounge or the lips. GENTLY!
-Teeth. I should point this out. Becareful you dont get too aggressive because your teeth could hit each other. Or, this happened to me, her teeth would hit my lip and actually make it bleed.
-Other weird things. I read that you could use you tounge to stimulate a girl's perilium (something like that). The is the flap of skin in a girl where the upper lip meets the gum. Supposedly, there is a nerve that is directly connected to her clitoris and will make her more sexually excited. I have tried it and only got a weird look and a, "What are you doing?" So much for science!
-Style. You are going to notice that differnt people have different styles in the way they kiss. Some may be softer, others more aggressive. Some more messy, some with finesse, and every other variation you could think of. From my experiance, no two people kiss the same. This is a subtle nuance, or in some cases, obvious.
And the weird thing is that you are not supposed to think anything. You are supposed to loose yourself in the moment and just respond. I hope this helps, because in the end, it isnt rocket science. :wink:
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Principessa
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It's hard for a kiss to go horribly wrong. IMO that would be like messing up a hard boiled egg. :tongue: So if that is a concern, stop worrying about it.
First Kiss: kindergarden Billy S. we also played doctor :wink:
Second Kiss: HS graduation, after the ceremony Jeff B. picked me up whirled me around and kissed me. WOW!
Third Kiss: Jerry S. he was my first french kiss. It was 2 months before my 19th birthday and I was a freshman in college.
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That settles it, my views on kissing have just been defined as that of a heterosexual woman, lol. :biggrin1:
D_Jared Padalicki
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I leraned to kiss when i was 14 years old, first gf. It wasn't bad, just did what came up in me and followed the girl. She always wanted to do some French kissing, wich is nice of course, but just kissing at times is nice too.
hud01
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Most of this is great.
The two things I have to disagree with, are first not asking. One time I met a girl at a party. She was barely 18 and I was a senior. We danced a few times and talked a little. She said she wanted to go back to her dorm. I offered to walk her back. When we got to the door and were saying good night, I asked her if I could kiss her goodnight. She said yes, and it was a nice sweet 2 minute kiss.
The second is about the man always being the aggressor. Sorry, nope. More times than not yes, but there have been more than a handfull of occassions where the girl made the first move. Oh yeah, sometimes it has been mutual, we turn, heads move closer and bammmm.
What I wrote was a very general guideline. Context is everything of course. Generally, you dont ask because it seems you dont have the confidence to just, "Be a man". Its a mental thing. Ofcourse there will be instances where the cutest thing you could do for the moment is ask. But that is in a context.
Let me ask, how did you ask? Did you really say, "Can I kiss you?". Or was it, "I want to kiss you!" there is a difference. Part of the info I got was based on what I learned speaking with women on this subject. Or hearing them talk about it.
And you are right, some women do make the first move.
It's a huge surprise when the girl becomes the aggressor. One night at a party, this girl who I had been friends forever, jumped me in the middle of a conversation and kissed me.. left me with my jaw dropped.. then she proceeded to giving me head in my car. So it leads to good things :d
hud01
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Actually I was very grammatically correct. I knew I could kiss her, so my actual words were, may I kiss you goodnight.
One of the worst decisions of my life was not actually dating her. Back then I was stupid about more things, or maybe different things, so I thought 4 years difference in age was too much. Which is also probably part of the reason I asked, since I didn't want to go the route of taking advantage of a sweet girl.
See, that is what I mean, you knew you could. You knew that the answer would have been yes. Asking is just a cute thing to do in that context. I am sure when you asked that, you also had a certain confident look on your face.
I guess what I mean is you shouldnt have to ask. And if you do ask, you damn well better know or have a good idea that you can. Its asking in uncertainty that is the turn off for women.
key word: gently
i kissed a girl who LOVED to bite. and bite hard. at first it was fine but as she bit harder, i had to pull away. and i swear we couldn't have a kiss without her biting.
MarkLondon
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Relax Pup, it comes naturally. It's not a thing you do to someone, it's a two-way thing and you get instant feedback and interaction.
Principessa
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Wish-4-8, You have way too many rules for kissing. No wonder RugbyPup is scared. :redface:
Those are not rules. As Hud01 showed, its just a guideline. But he wanted to know what it was like. He would have figured this all out on his own, like the rest of us. :smile:
I mean, I could write this whole thing out on how to chew a piece of bubble gum.:biggrin1:
I am sure you could offer some insight from a female perspective. How do you like to be kissed and why?:wink:
I think like most things between men and women, you do something fleetingly at first, and you feel for your partner's response through her body language. Also, if you're lucky enough to be with someone more experienced, it doesn't hurt to let her take the lead. These two together were how I learned how to kiss. Sex was pretty much the same, doing something and feeling for her response to it, and learning from women who knew what they wanted.
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