Kornered by kweers

[helgaleena]

If it truly happened several years ago, why bring it up when it is nolonger an issue to you? Why would people here think it's 'an interesting post' ?

I am only interested in helping you with a real problem, not hearing about your past decisions not to stand up for yourself.

 

[DaveyR]

If it truly happened several years ago, why bring it up when it is nolonger an issue to you? Why would people here think it's 'an interesting post' ?

I am only interested in helping you with a real problem, not hearing about your past decisions not to stand up for yourself.

Just because it happened several years ago does not make it any less relevant. A constructive discussion about it may just help someone who might happen to find themselves in the same situation in the future deal with it correctly.

 

[CUBE]

oh as the office clerk would say on Little Britain, "For Fuck Sake" Just say No, Not into it. Done

 

[Balljunkie]

They wanted you for your "large package". What a total douchebag and tool. If you saw the guy's face pressed up against the glass, why not hit the glass? And make a bold threat to them? Most guys back off when you give them a stern threat. Unless you want this post to show how predatory gay men are and prey on the straight guy with the "big package" because they can't help it.

 

[B_cigarbabe]

Re: hilaire and novice. The events really did happen exactly as I wrote. As for "acting receptive". I doubt it. When I visit the gym, it's for two reasons: to work out and to check out the babes. I think those gays were hounding me because of my large package. And no, I'm not into gay-bashing. This particular episode, however, made me upset and this is reflected in my wording. I don't hate gays but I do hate political correctness so I used words that captured my feelings. As for YOUR feelings (gays), I'm not out to insult you, so you should take the words in context.

Yes, the problem went away when I switched gyms. I only posted it here because I thought it would make an interesting topic - an accurate one that happened to me - and on a largely gay forum no less and one dedicated to penises.

Its okay for you to "check out babes" [cruise] though right?
I gotcha'!
Are you sure they didn't just look at you?
Oh wait they did.
Looked at you in a mens shower.
Why didn't you yell at them to "Fuck Off!"?
How do you know they weren't straight guys just
trying to scare you? Maybe they wanted to scare you because they thought you were gay.
C.B.:saevil:

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

If you saw the guy's face pressed up against the glass, why not hit the glass?

That's what I would have done (and have done similar in other cirmcumstances).

As for the guy opening my shower door I would have yelled "Get the fuck away from me!!!" as loudly as possible so everyone would take note of him as he ran.

Not blaming the victim here, but are you young and small in stature? Some guys assume young, cute, and small = gay. Of course that's a stereotype and gay men of all people should know better. Just can't imagine someone doing that to a 6'4" bodybuilder, as much as they would like to (me included!) for fear of getting pulverized.

 

[modest123]

I'm not exactly small but this was a GYM we're talking about. Most of the guys there could kick my ass - and there were two of them. So my initial reaction was to get out of there. It was the correct course of action. The best defense is to avoid a fight and who knows what might have happened if I'd escalated it. Yeah, I suppose I could have yelled as you suggested but it was a spur of the moment thing and hindsight is always 20/20.

That's what I would have done (and have done similar in other cirmcumstances).

As for the guy opening my shower door I would have yelled "Get the fuck away from me!!!" as loudly as possible so everyone would take note of him as he ran.

Not blaming the victim here, but are you young and small in stature? Some guys assume young, cute, and small = gay. Of course that's a stereotype and gay men of all people should know better. Just can't imagine someone doing that to a 6'4" bodybuilder, as much as they would like to (me included!) for fear of getting pulverized.

 

[BigDallasDick8x6]

Well I'm sorry it happened to you instead of me (for both our sakes!)

 

[NCbear]

Yeah, sometimes it's difficult to know the right thing to do when you're surprised by something totally out of your comfort zone and you've got only seconds to respond appropriately. Most people would indeed do what you did, OP.

But others are also on target: Quite often, the best defense is a good offense. And many who would happily bully someone by intrusively or overtly sexual behavior would not like it if the tables were turned, or even if their actions were exposed (by yelling "get away from me!" in a strong, carrying, but not panicked voice, for example, as another poster suggested). Cockroaches scurry when the light's turned on, right?

I'm just about as gay as they come, and I've had gay men come on to me inappropriately or in inappropriate settings before. I've had to maintain my space or my boundaries or (in one case) report them to gym management when they wouldn't take "no" for an answer. So yes, I'm well aware of the problem with some elements of my own subculture.

Still, simply saying, "Look, I'm aware of what you're trying to do, and I'm not interested," usually takes care of it.

Or consider confronting the perpetrator, when it's safe to do so. The person might learn from it.

NCbear (whose man was practically mobbed in the showers by other gay men when we visited a new YMCA recently )

 

[novice_btm]

This thread is just inflammatory. The title is, as is painting homosexuals as animals, unable to be controlled, even by the management, in the face of a big dick.

On top of that, it's tough to respect someone who so eagerly presents themselves as such a helpless victim. When I reported on here about having a gun held 6" from my chest and robbed, it wasn't even in such a helpless and weak way. Even if it actually happened exactly as you said it, at no point was a simple "not interested", or even a "fuck off!" ever interjected in your story. It was just you continually trailing on about letting them abuse you. I'm a short, book-worm, wuss, and even I wouldn't have let that kind of aggression happen.

 

[nixonrich]

this is an attraction based universe - the more you belly-ache about what you dont like or want, the more likely something similar will show up in your experience......I look forward to reading the next 'similar scenario' that you are aligning up for yourself. I also agree with some previous comments - what happened was not good - there must have been a misinterpretation of intentions. Forget the sueing idea unless all was captured on camera or there were independant witnesses. there is positive side - you clearly have great power of attraction - I'm sure you enjoy its benefits more than its curses. Hope you are left in peace at all gyms in the future.

 

[Balljunkie]

This thread is just inflammatory. The title is, as is painting homosexuals as animals, unable to be controlled, even by the management, in the face of a big dick.

This is exactly what I was saying. It pisses me off, and is typical straight man fear.

 

[Darkriff]

After the reading the posts, I have no intention of telling you "what you should've done." What happened has done came and gone. Take some advice from others here, perhaps you'll play it different should a similar situation appear. I'm a very timid person by nature as well, I probably would've done the same thing. Once I saw someone pressing up against the glass I simply would've left.

 

[DaveyR]

This thread is just inflammatory. The title is, as is painting homosexuals as animals, unable to be controlled, even by the management, in the face of a big dick.

I tried to give some benefit of the doubt at first however my thinking is more in line with your's as I've watched this thread progress.

 

[D_Relentless Original]

For the OP, maybe all these guys who were pressing the glass and getting in your stall thought you was interested or they were teaching you a lesson as they thought you were Homophobic as your wording and title thread could lead to that assumption. I ain't gonna give any advice or anything, to be honest i don't give a shite,its obvious a kweers opinion does not count.

 

[invisibleman]

Sexuality is an interesting thing. It only tells us who and what we like NOT who we are able to have. There are many, many beautiful people in the world. Not every beautiful person we meet are ours to do as we wish because we think they are beautiful.

There has to be an agreement. And no one-sided affections. A lot of people don't understand that.

I have had gay men who I didn't like sexually but they were attracted to me. I have had straight women who liked me but I didn't like them sexually. I turned them all down nice and in a very respectful manner.

 

[deleted213967]

Sad how a legitimate topic can be obscured by bad OPs with bad language and bad intentions.

This actually happened to me. The big bearish guy evidently confused the gym with a sex club and thought he could get away with it because he was 7 feet tall or so. I turned off the shower and firmly asked him to stop. He did but then turned his attention to the next guy, who was still in his swimsuit and didn't have a clue about what was going on.

I had to threaten to call the cops but he finally stopped. Unwanted sex is always wrong, period.

 

[Darkriff]

Sad how a legitimate topic can be obscured by bad OPs with bad language and bad intentions.

This actually happened to me. The big bearish guy evidently confused the gym with a sex club and thought he could get away with it because he was 7 feet tall or so. I turned off the shower and firmly asked him to stop. He did but then turned his attention to the next guy, who was still in his swimsuit and didn't have a clue about what was going on.

I had to threaten to call the cops but he finally stopped. Unwanted sex is always wrong, period.

Good for you bro, completely agree with your post.

 

[FuzzyKen]

The behaviour you experienced was disgusting and disgraceful. I am gay, and in all honesty, I would be greatly offended if I had been forced to endure the same experience. I did have some law studies and would agree that the behaviour you experienced was way over the line.

If some individual wants sex, making a bad impression is definitely not the way to get it.

The "horses ass" that did what he did is a total idiot and he and his behaviour are both insults to the many good men and women in the gay community. We work for years to overcome this kind of stereotype of us, and some moron goes out and reinforces the negative aspects of a very small minority within the community. Many in the gay community resent these few "in-your-face" individuals and we also do our best to deal with them as best we can when we encounter them.

Sorry about that one Chief. . .
Please do not judge the entire community by a very small minority of morons.

 

[D_Dick_Dock_Doe]

This is an interesting thread on many, many levels. Since I feel that most of the levels have been discussed ad nauseum, I do feel it important to share my thoughts one aspect of this thread.

I have read several posts that stated the supposed victim of this supposed incident should have sued the gym for not reprimanding the supposed perpetrators of this alleged offense. True, if this incident happened, it could be considered sexual harassment. However, like all sexual harassment lawsuits, the difficulty in pursuing a case like this lies in a quagmire of "he said/she said." Or, in this case, "he said/he said." Unless the victim could prove that the incident happened, or could bring witnesses with him that would testify to the incident having occurred, there really is nothing the gym or a judge could do.

Nevertheless, the supposed victim in this incident has changed gyms and seems to have solved the issue.

On another note, I have to agree that the original post had a definite homophobic slant to it. Whether the poster intended to come across as such does not matter. I have argued this many times - you can't have something both ways. Either homophobic behavior is wrong or it is not. You cannot jump on someone for being "homophobic" and then excuse said homophobia just because he may have been in a situation or an incident where his response was to be homophobic. That makes absolutely no sense, and no one should get a pass for acting irresponsibly or with malice toward someone or a group of people. I don't care how uncomfortable I may be in a situation - I would NEVER call someone a "fag" or a "queer." It's just not right.