Kornered by kweers

[DaveyR]

This is an interesting thread on many, many levels. Since I feel that most of the levels have been discussed ad nauseum, I do feel it important to share my thoughts one aspect of this thread.

I have read several posts that stated the supposed victim of this supposed incident should have sued the gym for not reprimanding the supposed perpetrators of this alleged offense. True, if this incident happened, it could be considered sexual harassment. However, like all sexual harassment lawsuits, the difficulty in pursuing a case like this lies in a quagmire of "he said/she said." Or, in this case, "he said/he said." Unless the victim could prove that the incident happened, or could bring witnesses with him that would testify to the incident having occurred, there really is nothing the gym or a judge could do.

Nevertheless, the supposed victim in this incident has changed gyms and seems to have solved the issue.

On another note, I have to agree that the original post had a definite homophobic slant to it. Whether the poster intended to come across as such does not matter. I have argued this many times - you can't have something both ways. Either homophobic behavior is wrong or it is not. You cannot jump on someone for being "homophobic" and then excuse said homophobia just because he may have been in a situation or an incident where his response was to be homophobic. That makes absolutely no sense, and no one should get a pass for acting irresponsibly or with malice toward someone or a group of people. I don't care how uncomfortable I may be in a situation - I would NEVER call someone a "fag" or a "queer." It's just not right.

Well said. What a great perspective on this.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

The behaviour you experienced was disgusting and disgraceful. I am gay, and in all honesty, I would be greatly offended if I had been forced to endure the same experience. I did have some law studies and would agree that the behaviour you experienced was way over the line.

If some individual wants sex, making a bad impression is definitely not the way to get it.

The "horses ass" that did what he did is a total idiot and he and his behaviour are both insults to the many good men and women in the gay community. We work for years to overcome this kind of stereotype of us, and some moron goes out and reinforces the negative aspects of a very small minority within the community. Many in the gay community resent these few "in-your-face" individuals and we also do our best to deal with them as best we can when we encounter them.

Sorry about that one Chief. . .
Please do not judge the entire community by a very small minority of morons.

OK I have to ask, when did every gay man or woman for that matter become responsible for the PR of the "Gay Community" ? And who are the many you speak of ?

Personally I think the guys in question were pigs, but surely the whole point is that some people are crappy and some aren't. It's not really relevant what their sexuality is, and giving credence to the idea that this might be evidence of some kind of gay characteristic by asking for people not to judge all gay people by the standards of the pigs in question isn't really helpful.

What you might more logically have said was "don't judge all humanity by [the actions of] a very small minority of morons". Apologising for on behalf of all gays sort of suggests that all gays are responsible for these two people's actions no ?

Otherwise there are a hell of a lot of things, that test I cheated on in school, that time I called my mum a slag, the numerous times I've used public transport without paying e.t.c. that need to be reported to who ever your representing so you guys can get busy and do some PR damage control. I may be making you all look bad, sorry. :wink::biggrin1:

 

[Darkriff]

Actually now that I think of it, who's to say that the men that did this were even gay? There is such a thing as rape, and it's not always sexual in nature. More often than not it's about power. They could be gay, yes that's a possibility, but it's also just as plausible that they're two straight guys with insecurities and lash out in violent ways.

 

[LongandBigSub]

The guy may have just been really horny - just for that moment - and did something that he probably normally wouldn't do.

He may be a closeted gay guy who's married, and doesn't know how else to channel his feelings. I say this because I noticed a guy started eyeing me on the gym floor, and he had a ring on his finger, but I noticed this guy was ogling me. I could feel it. Later in the locker room, I noticed him checking me out when he walked by me changing. He could control his eye contact, but he couldn't control his vibes, and I felt his strong vibes. I guess he was using my naked butt as part of one of his fantasies, since he was eying me down, as I dropped my pants.

A lot of other gay/bi men don't know how to express their sexuality properly and use places like locker rooms to vent out their sexual frustrations.

I am not saying you should tolerate unwanted advances - no one should - but it may make you less angry and less defensive in public showers, if you just look at from a different point of view, where you don't see the guy as a jerk, but just someone who was just confused. You'll realize it's just a confused, sexually frustrated guy that crossed path with you one day in your whole entire life. And it doesn't have to happen again.

You can also enjoy the locker room again, and become less focused on what happened there. I have had some really meaningful conversations in the locker room with other men - nothing sexual - just open conversation in the morning about how the day is going and about life. In sports you can bond with guys in the locker room, and after seeing the same guys everyday at your local gym, you get to know them more after your workout. But I've also had some creepy men follow me around. I just focus more on the positive conversations I've been getting, because this is one of the reasons I use public locker rooms, where men just can be themselves and relax.

 

[cdarro]

The guy may have just been really horny - just for that moment - and did something that he probably normally wouldn't do.

He may be a closeted gay guy who's married, and doesn't know how else to channel his feelings. I say this because I noticed a guy started eyeing me on the gym floor, and he had a ring on his finger, but I noticed this guy was ogling me. I could feel it. Later in the locker room, I noticed him checking me out when he walked by me changing. He could control his eye contact, but he couldn't control his vibes, and I felt his strong vibes. I guess he was using my naked butt as part of one of his fantasies, since he was eying me down, as I dropped my pants.

A lot of other gay/bi men don't know how to express their sexuality properly and use places like locker rooms to vent out their sexual frustrations.

I am not saying you should tolerate unwanted advances - no one should - but it may make you less angry and less defensive in public showers, if you just look at from a different point of view, where you don't see the guy as a jerk, but just someone who was just confused. You'll realize it's just a confused, sexually frustrated guy that crossed path with you one day in your whole entire life. And it doesn't have to happen again.

You can also enjoy the locker room again, and become less focused on what happened there. I have had some really meaningful conversations in the locker room with other men - nothing sexual - just open conversation in the morning about how the day is going and about life. In sports you can bond with guys in the locker room, and after seeing the same guys everyday at your local gym, you get to know them more after your workout. But I've also had some creepy men follow me around. I just focus more on the positive conversations I've been getting, because this is one of the reasons I use public locker rooms, where men just can be themselves and relax.

Oh, grow up. Please. Really.

 

[dreamer20]

That's like saying when someone breaks into your house and just steals a little money is it really worth calling the police?

No, it's not. The perpetrator left no fingerprints, the money isn't recoverable and the police (if untrustworthy) might take something too.

 

[Florida Boy]

This is an interesting thread on many, many levels. Since I feel that most of the levels have been discussed ad nauseum, I do feel it important to share my thoughts one aspect of this thread.

I have read several posts that stated the supposed victim of this supposed incident should have sued the gym for not reprimanding the supposed perpetrators of this alleged offense. True, if this incident happened, it could be considered sexual harassment. However, like all sexual harassment lawsuits, the difficulty in pursuing a case like this lies in a quagmire of "he said/she said." Or, in this case, "he said/he said." Unless the victim could prove that the incident happened, or could bring witnesses with him that would testify to the incident having occurred, there really is nothing the gym or a judge could do.

Nevertheless, the supposed victim in this incident has changed gyms and seems to have solved the issue.

On another note, I have to agree that the original post had a definite homophobic slant to it. Whether the poster intended to come across as such does not matter. I have argued this many times - you can't have something both ways. Either homophobic behavior is wrong or it is not. You cannot jump on someone for being "homophobic" and then excuse said homophobia just because he may have been in a situation or an incident where his response was to be homophobic. That makes absolutely no sense, and no one should get a pass for acting irresponsibly or with malice toward someone or a group of people. I don't care how uncomfortable I may be in a situation - I would NEVER call someone a "fag" or a "queer." It's just not right.

Thank you.

 

[novice_btm]

...I don't care how uncomfortable I may be in a situation - I would NEVER call someone a "fag" or a "queer."...

That's been one of my issues with this thread from the beginning. It could've just been, "Cornered in the shower", but the OP tried to dismiss his use of "kweers", to go along with "Kornered", as if spelling that incorrectly was somehow clever from the start. I just find his whole reason for starting this thread, from the title, through the entire post, to be inflammatory, and disruptive.

I was recently told, that straight guys here, get a bit battered about, and they needed to be treated better. The problem is, guys like THIS come along, and it doesn't matter if you're gay, bi, or just open-minded, if "straight guys" spout off stuff like this, it's is offensive to you, and matters escalate.

 

[modest123]

Alright then. Point taken, and I officially apologize. I shouldn't have used that term and I certainly did not mean to offend. Now that I have offended, I ask forgiveness.

 

[B_Hung Jon]

At one time, I noticed that some guys were staring at me and following me around at the gym. This went on for a few weeks. One day, after my workout, I entered one of those "private" shower stalls and closed the door behind me. Between each stall was patterned glass that you couldn't quite see through clearly. Well... the guy in the stall next to mine pushed his face right up to the glass so that his nose was squished against it and he was leering at my private parts. As I was noticing this, another guy actually opened the door to MY stall and let himself in!! I was out of there in a flash and, not being sure what to do, complained to management. Of course there was nothing they could do either. I found another gym.

disclaimer: I used the word "kweers" because it went well with "kornered". I have nothing against homosexuals in general.

I've been around a lot of "kweers", to use your jargon, and I've never had anyone korner me that way, except maybe in a playful manner. I also don't believe that any gay guy could go "cock-crazy" because of your big dick and try to force you into sex or anything like that.

Sorry, this whole thing sounds fishy to me. :frown1:

 

[Dave NoCal]

Right. Closeted "straight man" fantasy.
Dave

 

[lilbear]

I agree- "straight man" fantasy.
Gay men do not even come on to each other like that.

 

[modest123]

Well, It's comforting to know that what I experienced was actually naught but a figment of my imagination. Not only that, but I'm now told that I have gay fantasies. How nice that total strangers, on this board, are experts on me and on my personal experiences. But, all kidding aside, the events I recounted happened exactly as told and I do not have gay fantasies. Not even in my dreams.

 

[deleted213967]

Well, It's comforting to know that what I experienced was actually naught but a figment of my imagination. Not only that, but I'm now told that I have gay fantasies. How nice that total strangers, on this board, are experts on me and on my personal experiences. But, all kidding aside, the events I recounted happened exactly as told and I do not have gay fantasies. Not even in my dreams.

Dude, you only have yourself to blame for the backlash. The way you told your story was simply not effective...and I am the one who actually experienced what you described...

Incidentally, the worst kind of troll in my experience is not the 'kweer' but rather the kloseted straight man: very obvious, very devious and never crossing the line so you can't confront him despite the discomfort he causes you.

 

[TurkeyWithaSunburn]

I've seen on craigslist one gym that frequently has guys posting for something like "steamroom action" or hooking up at that gym. I don't doubt the original poster.

Hindsight is 20/20 and rumination of an event about what could have, should have, been done isn't helpful.

Being in shock is a powerful emotion that makes you do wierd things, when u look back on them.

 

[D_Tim McGnaw]

I was recently told, that straight guys here, get a bit battered about, and they needed to be treated better. The problem is, guys like THIS come along, and it doesn't matter if you're gay, bi, or just open-minded, if "straight guys" spout off stuff like this, it's is offensive to you, and matters escalate.

And it's difficult to feel too bad about straight guys getting a bit of stick here when you know what gays go through at the hands of straight guys in the real world.

But like I said before in this thread the OP says he went through something which noone should have to put up with "kweer", straight, or whatever. I think it's just left him with lingering resentment towards all gay guys, a resentment he wanted to get across here, rightly or wrongly.