Ladies, Are You Addicted to Being Pregnant?

Principessa

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The Belly-Rubbing High
Are some women addicted to having babies?


In 2007 alone, American women birthed more than 4.3 million babies — the highest number ever. More than a quarter of those were to women having their third or fourth child, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. And despite the infertility freak-out the entire country seems to be currently engaged in, only a small number of these babies — perhaps 100,000 — resulted from medical interventions such as in vitro fertilization, says Jamie Grifo, M.D., Ph.D., director of the division of reproductive endocrinology at the NYU School of Medicine. That doesn't mean that we're transforming into a nation of Duggars (the Arkansas family with 18 kids often seen announcing their latest conception on NBC's TODAY show) and Novogratzes (the New York City clan of seven kids soon to be the focus of a new Bravo reality show) — the average number of children per American family is still hovering right around two. Still, certain mothers, like 31-year-old Meagan Francis, who is raising her flock of five in Michigan, have big broods because that's what they're used to. "I grew up in a relatively large family and always loved having lots of people around," she says. "So it's natural that I'd try to re-create that experience with my own family." But it's not always quite so simple, psychologists say. Some women may like being pregnant a little too much, often driven to rapidly reproduce out of insecurity, a craving for attention, or feelings of abandonment by their own parents.

The high of pregnancy
Having babies isn't addictive in the way that alcohol and narcotics can be. But bumpaholics feel compelled to procreate for many of the same reasons that substance abusers turn to booze or drugs. "Women who are obsessed with being pregnant are literally filling an emptiness inside of them, just as alcoholics and drug addicts use substances to fill a psychological void," says Beverly Hills psychiatrist Carole Lieberman, M.D. Every one of us at some point encounters this void, adds New York family therapist Bonnie Eaker Weil, Ph.D., author of "Financial Infidelity." "You want to have a purpose in this world. You want to feel less lonely."
For some women, babies fill that gap perfectly. Infants are dependent creatures. They can give their mothers a clear identity; they can also become handy social buffers. At a party or on the playground, a woman struggling with feelings of social anxiety or self-consciousness can hide behind the adorable infant in her arms. Any pressure to be cute or charming or funny disappears — your baby has that covered. "Bumpaholics breed to blot out their feelings of insecurity," Weil says. Boston psychiatrist and Fox News consultant Keith Ablow, M.D., says some women seem to view having more children as an alternative to addressing their own personal problems. "Bearing another child can sometimes provide a substitute for deciding on a career path, making a marriage work, or even wrestling with questions of self-worth," Ablow says. Then there's the constant attention you garner from others when you're bursting with child. Bumpaholic or not, it can be pretty great. Barb Pomeroy, 42, of Longmont, Colo., is a mother of six girls. She admits that she reveled in the questions and comments her pregnancies elicited from family, friends, and even complete strangers. She also loved the compliments people fed her about how good she looked when she was pregnant with her daughters. Even though she's not planning to have any more children, she misses the heightened interest and confidence pregnancy often brings. "There's this feeling of being special when you're pregnant," she says. "I feel like I become ordinary again when I'm not expecting." It's not hard to understand why: People smile at you, throw you baby showers, buy you lots of gifts. And the rounder your belly gets, the more space you take up in the world, and the more people take notice of you. In many respects, you become impossible to ignore. Spouses and partners dote on you, gladly delivering soup at 10 a.m. or antacids at 11 p.m. "My husband constantly rubbed and coddled me, and I ate it all up," says Liz Bustamante, a 39-year-old financial advisor from Forest Hills, N.Y., who has one child and is currently planning for the next. "And for the first time in my life, instead of feeling insecure about my body, I wanted to run around naked! I'd never felt sexier."
 

MickeyLee

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i couldn't read the article. :eek:

no, no way in hell, i am not a breeder. even the idea of being pregnant is repulsive. *huzzed out shudder*

just... huge... epic... no.
 

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I think the ladies of lpsg this is especially not true. Or else one of us would have been pregnant atleast once or twice during our membership. I know people like this and i cant stand them. I didnt get any extra attention when i was pregnant. No strangers rubbed my belly or even asked me when i was due. My husband didnt give my belly or the baby any attention. It was 9 months of almost entire sickness, kidney stones, uncomfortable and that doesnt count the labor, c-section and recovery. I'd never want to do it again. I dont care if Johnny Depp came over and held my hair while i puked every morning and evening.
 

Principessa

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I think the ladies of lpsg this is especially not true. Or else one of us would have been pregnant atleast once or twice during our membership. I know people like this and i cant stand them. I didnt get any extra attention when i was pregnant. No strangers rubbed my belly or even asked me when i was due. My husband didnt give my belly or the baby any attention. It was 9 months of almost entire sickness, kidney stones, uncomfortable and that doesnt count the labor, c-section and recovery. I'd never want to do it again. I dont care if Johnny Depp came over and held my hair while i puked every morning and evening.[/QUOTE] WOW! That's a very emphatic negative response. I had this vision of you just being this rubenesque earth mother when pregnant, gliding through rooms smiling and eating chocolate eclairs. I am soooo disillusioned. :frown1:

Not just no, but HELL NO!!! I've had two kids and I'm DONE.
Are you sure? Maybe if you gave it serious thought.

 

D_Amyntas Lillydong

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a female cousin of mine has 7 kids. but i'm a zoo keeper and a female dama gazelle that i take care of seems to like being pregnant. weird thing to say i know, but damas are an endangered species and it is a part of my job to observe their behavior.
 

lickme69

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I have 3 kids and would never change the fact that I had them, but I do not want anymore. Never really liked the idea of being pregnant. It is uncomfortable. I had an operation to make sure I do not have anymore.
 

spidergrrrl

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i couldn't read the article. :eek:

no, no way in hell, i am not a breeder. even the idea of being pregnant is repulsive. *huzzed out shudder*

just... huge... epic... no.

i'm more addicted to NOT being pregnant.
Been avoiding that for years :tongue:

Hear hear! I'm in the same boat as you two ladies. No way, no how is pregnancy for me.
 

poizen-ivy

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I like the idea of possibly falling pregnant *one day* but no-way for right now.
I prefer the fantasy of someone TRYING to get me pregnant. If that makes sense...
 
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Kayden96

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I'm glad it's the crazy, insecure women that pop out children like a clown car. At least they'll pass their needy DNA to a new generation of breeders. I think pregnancy kills braincells. The more kids women pop out, the slower that hamster seems to run.
 

spitreaper

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I've seen something on Oprah or Dr, Phil about women being addicted to being pregnant with some not even being able to support themselves. Its crazy what this world is coming to.