Ladies, do men make assumptions...

Discussion in 'Women's Issues' started by Rubenesque, May 11, 2009.

  1. Rubenesque

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 12, 2006
    Messages:
    2,708
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    ... about you just because you're on this site?

    I had a frustrating conversation just now on yahoo with some guy (can't remember his name, tiny wilson or something - how fitting) who had added me after seeing me on this site.

    The conversation started with him making a comment about me having been in a bad mood the last time we spoke - which puzzled me as I can't remember being in a bad mood, and it transpired he meant because I'd said I wasn't horny or interested in "horny chat". Well, that doesn't mean I'm in a bad mood, it just means I don't want to help him wank - which I explained. So... he comes back at me telling me if I'm not interested in cyber etc, I should put it on my profile as the "vast majority" of people on this site ARE looking for that.

    When I pointed out that technically LPSG isn't a contact site but that it has a section specifically for that that maybe he should try he accused me of having a bad attitude.

    I don't think I had had a bad attitude up to that point, but it tipped me over and I called him a fuckwit (quite rightly in my opinion!!!).

    So, my question is this... do men make assumptions about you because of this site? Do you think we're in the wrong for not wanting to cyber with every old guy who asks? Was he right and I was wrong? Please be honest, I can take it!

    Oh and if the guy I had the conversation with is reading this... yep, I am a fat bitch - and I'm getting some, are you? :biggrin1:
     
  2. ScorpioSlut

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    617
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Verified:
    Photo
    Nothing new Denise. Most guys do assume that the women here are expressly for their pleasure and we are at their disposal whenever they need to wank. That doesn't go for the guys who actually post here and know how to have intelligent conversations....but for "most guys" whose post level is lower than 30 (my observation). I've had plenty of guys tell me I'm a bitch or an obese cow because I don't want to help them wank, show them my body on cam, etc.....Don't take it personally Denise. As you mentioned about that specific man.....most of them are fuckwits.
     
  3. B_Think_Kink

    B_Think_Kink New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    10,742
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    I get tons and tons of messages from people on here wanting to cyber. I don't do it. I have my certain boys that I will talk dirty to, but they are very very few and far between.

    You were totally right. We are here to enjoy ourselves and not be hassled by others about the way we want to talk on here. There are many other fake females that can do that work for us.
     
  4. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the

    Yes absolutely! Just recently got called a prude and a bitch for not wanting to cam with a guy, and that's not the only time I've been called names for politely declining either.

    To top it off, the same guy who called me a prude actually had the gall to tell me I don't belong here since I admitted I use this site to network socially (read: I have a handful of nice chat friends I've made here and that's the main the reason I've stayed) -- he said I should stick to MySpace if I want a social networking site.

    Whatever, I get upset about stuff like this for 5 minutes and then I let it go. It's obvious people like that are close-minded and looking for only one thing. I politely suggest they try the "Women who like to watch men on cam" social group.
     
  5. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    Men make "ass"umptions all the time. What annoys me more than cam requests are guys who see me as the older (read: more experienced) woman who enjoys giving advice about sex. Some will message me with thinly veiled "woe is me" stories about the problems associated with their 12 - yes - 12 inch cocks. This is usually followed by "will you please look at this and tell me what you think?" pics and "what would you recommend?" or "what do YOU think of this? Have you ever seen one this big? I'm not even hard in that pic" or some other inane question asked for the sole purpose of gaining wank material.

    What's funny is when you tell them you have better things to do and they get pissed. Well, sorry boys. There's a reason i'm an experienced woman. I'm...busy. :biggrin1:
     
  6. javyn

    javyn New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,031
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    What's even more surprising than the mens' behaviors is the shocked reaction to it. I assumed women had to deal with this sort of thing their whole lives, online or off.

    It is rather stupid for men to act like that, but people tend to do what works for them. And for men, disregarding what the woman wants (to be left alone), and only caring about what you as the man wants (sex, masturbation fodder, whatever) tends to work out pretty well.

    That's why so many women end up with assholes, they are persistent. The nice guys/gentlemen see that a woman has a look like she doesn't want to be bothered (or flat out says it), then retires, forever from her mind and memory, leaving the persistent jerks as the only ones left, so guess how all men are going to be viewed as a result of this?
     
  7. StrictlyAvg

    StrictlyAvg Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2007
    Messages:
    714
    Likes Received:
    3
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    UK Hatfield
    Damn, you mean to tell me I need to possess some charm, wit and intelligence before you'll speak dirty to me even if it's online? Sheeit y'all are too much like hard work :rolleyes: :biggrin1:
     
  8. Ethyl

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2006
    Messages:
    5,476
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    495
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Philadelphia (PA, US)
    I know! And we're so not worth it so eventually you stop trying...oh, wait...:tongue:
     
  9. javyn

    javyn New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2008
    Messages:
    1,031
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    What I don't quite get, is why insisting on cyber or camming. What does it matter if the person on the other end is live or not, just look at porn if you can't find a woman willing to cam, or, just fire up the porn first thing and don't waste your time.

    I'm a bit of a cam whore, but I get off being an exhibitionist, not a voyeur. If I am in the mood to watch something, Memorex is just as good as live to me. *shrug

    A pussy is a pussy just like a big pair of tits is a big pair of tits. They aren't really all that different from one another.

     
  10. ScorpioSlut

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2008
    Messages:
    617
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Tennessee
    Verified:
    Photo
    Javyn while it is true some women end up with assholes there are women who dislike assholes extremely and will avoid them at all costs. Luckily for us there are people who fall somewhere on the spectrum between "I'll try one time gentlemen" and "I'll bug you til you cave in assholes".
     
  11. RamIt

    RamIt Member

    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2007
    Messages:
    301
    Likes Received:
    2
    Gender:
    Male
    I think its the guys that cant get laid in real life, that seek the intimacy of a "personal touch" in camming or cyber.

    Besides, I thought all women were here to serve at the beck and call of all of us studs because are dicks are so awesome. Thats all that matters, right? If I have a huge dick, you should be wet just thinking about the chance to serve my perversions.
     
  12. Honey123

    Verified Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jan 6, 2007
    Messages:
    1,322
    Albums:
    2
    Likes Received:
    13
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Aridzona
    Verified:
    Photo
    Hey Denise,
    I've been hit by the jerks so many times like that here. Even the ones that are my regular chat buddies that I don't mind giving attention or instructions to - sometimes I wonder if they see me as their own personal free phone sex operator or chat model.

    I ignore them most the time or tell them I'm not in the business and if they need that kind of assistance perhaps they should find a girl that is... surprising the responses I get for that one :rolleyes:

    Now... take a deep breath... and continue with life.
     
  13. Pitbull

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    3,753
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Denise,

    I don't think it is an assumption based on the fact that you are a member here.
    It is that they are "Fuckwits"

    I have heard similar behavior being exhibited on other sites - such as traditional dating sites such as match.com or others of that kind.

    A few very frustrated men who don't realize their frustration is not helped by rude antisocial behavior.

    I don't think the majority of men are like this (hope not) but the ones that are sure send a lot of messages.
     
    #13 Pitbull, May 11, 2009
    Last edited: May 11, 2009
  14. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    you girls need a sigline like mine.
    i'm serious.
    it works a treat.
     
  15. tiff86

    tiff86 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 28, 2006
    Messages:
    537
    Likes Received:
    6
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    California
    Yeah I think some guys assume everyone is here to hook up or look at as many penis pics as possible. Which is sorta weird cuz theres tons of people who are here who arent here for that.
     
  16. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    and even if you ARE here for that, you have the right to pick & choose who.

    it's like they believe logging on is like signing away your right to say no.
     
  17. Gillette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,309
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    14
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    It's both. I think it's a natural assumption given the subject matter of the site. Why register and participate if you had zero interest in the subject.
    This assumption is strengthened by the presence of nude photos in galleries. Why post sexual pics of yourself on a site devoted to cock if you don't want to be seen in a sexual light? Strengthened even further by providing your contact information on said site. Why do that unless you want to be contacted by those seeing your naked pics on a sex site?

    Not surprising as sex is an expected eventual outcome of dating, but I doubt this behaviour occurs frequently on sites devoted to quilting, art appreciation or rocket propulsion.

    The fuckwittery goes both ways.

    For the men they should be able to check our profiles for posts to see what our interests on the site are before contacting us, but then most of us have posted at least once on how we enjoy sex so it's still an enticement.

    For the women, I think the fuckwit factor is higher.
    Join a site about sex, post nude pics of yourself PLUS providing your yahoo contact info? When you accept a random yahoo contact request from a stranger are you truly expecting the other party to engage you in a convo on global warming? What response would you expect if you taped a nude pic with your phone number on the wall in the men's room of a bar?

    Get real.

    It only took a couple of times for this to happen to me before I removed my yahoo addy from my profile. Random cam requests ceased. Ta daa!
    Simple logic.

    I have yet to keep pics of myself in my gallery but I still get PMs with sexual requests. I decline, ignore, delete, block or respond as I feel appropriate. Same thing goes in the chat room.

    I'm not mytsified by men's general behaviour towards women on this site, I'm only mystified that the women are.
     
  18. dolfette

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2006
    Messages:
    11,901
    Likes Received:
    25
    men asking is one thing.
    men getting abusive at not being accepted is another.
    a girl can be here for pics & cyber.
    doesn't mean she's here for pics & cyber with everyone who asks.
    and even if she is, there will be times that aren't convenient.
     
  19. Enid

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Jul 3, 2008
    Messages:
    4,402
    Albums:
    1
    Likes Received:
    181
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    My home is wherever reality seems elastic and the

    Yes, absolutely. I don't mind getting asked at all, I politely decline or I will talk to the person a bit if they seem interesting. It's the getting called names when I do decline that is bothersome. Being harangued to put nude photos in my gallery is also irksome (asked multiple times and questioned even after I've said I'm not comfortable with that). I have put in my gallery exactly what I am comfortable showing.

    Ultimately it's fine, I take it in stride. But Denise I just wanted you to know that there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting to.
     
  20. Pitbull

    Gold Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2006
    Messages:
    3,753
    Likes Received:
    7
    Gender:
    Male
    Dating is perhaps the basis for a good comparison.
    Man asks woman on date.
    Is the first topic penis & sex?
    I wish.

    Might the woman be interested in penis & sex.
    Hopefully.

    There are some expectations and rules that are usually followed except by the most crass among us.

    So perhaps the expectation of the women that the men will show some manners and respect before whipping it out is not unreasonable.
     
Draft saved Draft deleted